Get a load of this:

If you just wanna eat chicken, I guess that’s fine, but how are you 21 years old and have never even tried a burger or steak? If Sam Howell was from hippy dippy Vermont or whatever you might understand it, but dude is from North Carolina and never had a steak? Incredible. And no seafood? Guy doesn’t eat seafood? What planet are we living on here?

Sam Howell is my three year old. Cameran only ever wants to eat chicken nuggets. We get the ones with the veggies INSIDE of the nuggets to surreptitiously force something green into her system. Your toddler likely only eats nuggets, macaroni and cheese, and fruit, so Sam Howell’s diet is maybe one progression beyond your toddler’s. Forget Keto, he’s on the weekly chicken plan. Mondays at KFC, Tuesdays at Church’s, Wednesdays at Popeye’s, Thursdays at Zaxby’s, and Fridays at Chic-fil-A. That actually doesn’t sound too bad, but if your arteries could speak they’d be begging for mercy.

This guy makes perfect sense on the Washington Commanders. Now they have two weirdos at the QB position.