Listen, it’s tough to be a Philadelphia sports fan at the moment. The only hope right now is the Eagles, who have so much hype they’re destined to let us down. That’s why I’m declaring 14-day Jeopardy! Champion Ryan Long as a championship for the city of  Philadelphia.

Hang the banner! –

If anyone objects, what makes this any different than Pearl Jam being immortalized for only 10 sold-out shows? Ryan is going on 14 straight days. The ninth longest streak in Jeopardy history. Pearl Jam has played 10 times in 32 years. This is not even a question. He’s an Uber driver who fosters baby kittens and has won $260k with a comeback story like this:

Who loves a comeback story more than Philadelphia? The people who will disagree also watch their favorite movie about a wide receiver with 15 career receiving yards everyday. I won’t even hold the Phillies question against him. Who has time to waste intelligence on that team when you’re setting records? –

If we threw a parade down Market Street for Villanova then Ryan Long deserves at minimum a float down Germantown Ave. At least he has a Philly mailing address.