Where was this on the list of Phillies Auction items? –

You know, this is what the Phillies don’t do well. They’re corporate types that can’t just have a little fun. The Phillies Charities auction just ended, and they raised hundreds of thousands of dollars. You know what would’ve made them millions? Adding this. Any disease they were trying to eradicate would be donezo. Yea, playing ping pong with Kyle Gibson or having dinner with Schmidt is cool, but what gets you more lifetime value? A story of Mike Schmidt talking about all of the international players who can’t be leaders because they don’t speak the language or a 1/1 Lenny Dykstra “I Love Pussy” autograph on a helmet hanging up behind your bar? Would some people be upset? Of course. But it’s for charity you asshole, go focus on the NRA or something. This helmet is something you pass down to your children’s children. And that is exactly what I’ll be doing.

UPDATE: