Preply surveyed more than 1,500 residents of the 30 largest metropolitan areas in the U.S. and asked them about the rudeness level of their city. Philadelphia came in at #1 with a score of 6.43. For context, the average score was a 5.10. Memphis was #2 and NYC finished #3.

First things first, I need the demographics of these “residents” for a rebuttal. Are they transplants from the suburbs of Philly or South Jersey, and just because they pay electric at their rented apartment, they are then considered residents? Or is this Johnny fucking Boombats from 8th and Shunk who bought his mother’s house after she passed? Because I think people who live in Philly love to put off this persona that we’re mean and tough when people are pretty nice here. I’ve lived in North Philly, Fairmount, South Philly, and Fishtown. I’ve never had a problem with my neighbor. In fact the “locals” in North and South were typically the best people to have as neighbors. They made sure nobody messed with you or your house and would go up and down the block sweeping the street. You know how hard it is to keep a street clean at Temple? Impossible.

Also, this is a city full of nurses for God’s sake. The most caring and compassionate profession out there. You go on a dating app right now I promise you 50% of women you swipe through work at CHOP or Jefferson. Here’s the thing – if you’re having trouble acclimating to the city, I have an easy fix. Put on a green Eagles sweatshirt and walk around. You’ll get at least five “Go Birds” or a smile in a two block span.

This survey is a farce…except for #7 on the list of the most common rude behaviors in the U.S. and the city most likely to exhibit them:

    1. Being absorbed by phone in public: New York City, NY
    2. Not letting people merge in traffic: Memphis, TN
    3. Not slowing down around pedestrians: Boston, MA
    4. Being noisy in public: Memphis, TN
    5. Not acknowledging strangers: Boston, MA
    6. Watching videos in public: Memphis, TN
    7. Talking on speaker in public: Philadelphia, PA
    8. Closed off body language: New York City, NY
    9. Not respecting personal space: Memphis, TN
    10. Being rude to service staff: Memphis, TN

Add FaceTime to #7. Holy shit does Philadelphia have a problem with talking on the speaker in public. You could be on SEPTA, in the grocery store, in the park, or at dinner. Chances are someone is talking on speaker. It’s fucked up. No one wants to hear your conversation. I’ve done the speaker thing before, but I put it at the lowest possible volume and jam that shit into my ear like a Q-Tip so I don’t bother anyone. We have a pandemic and it ain’t monkeypox or COVID. It’s the damn speakerphone in public.