ESPN Analytics is drunk. According to a bunch of nerds with some calculators, the Cowboys have the best shot at not only making the Super Bowl, but winning it:

And they’re probably going to have to do it as a 5th seed after the Eagles increased their chances of getting the #1 seed to 74% after their win over the Titans:

Only four teams have won the Super Bowl as a #5 seed or lower. The last one to do it was the 2020 Bucs, who were led by the GOAT. The team before that one was Mike McCarthy and Aaron Rodgers in 2010 as a #6 seed. What’s the difference between those two? They had elite QB play. Dak is staring 30 in the face with one playoff win. The defense is great, don’t get me wrong, but Lane Johnson neutralized Micah Parsons before he went out with a concussion. At that point they were up 20-3 and manhandling the Cowboys and Cooper Rush, who according to Cowboys fans sucked even though the owner tried to start a QB controversy.

DraftKings, who I’m sure uses similar predictive analytics, has the Bills as the favorites to win the Super Bowl at +350 followed by the Chiefs and Eagles (5/1), and the Cowboys at 7/1.

Call me a cave man, but I hate analytics. Did the United States use analytics to win the Revolutionary War? George Washington didn’t cross the Delaware thinking if he attacks from the north it’d give him a 15% more success rate of defeating the British. He used the element of surprise. Surprise, motherfuckers. We’d love if the Eagles were underdogs as a #1 seed in the playoffs. Remember what happened last time?