The Commies had their trademark application denied by the USPTO for two reasons:

The Commanders Classic is an annual college football game played by the Air Force and Army. The other trademark is owned by Martin McCaulay, a Commies fan who filed multiple trademarks trying to guess the team name over the last 10 years via Allen Kim at CNN:

“I want them to change the name and am embarrassed if I did anything that slows that down,” McCauley tweeted on Tuesday. “I thought if I hoarded all the good names that would keep someone else who might be a pain in the neck from getting them.”

McCauley first trademarked the Washington Pigskins in 2015, and while he has lost count himself, a search of the US Trademark and Patent Office website shows that he holds trademarks for names such as the Washington Monuments, Washington Redtails, Washington Veterans, Washington Red Wolves and Washington Warriors.

Despite holding trademarks for a number of potential team names, McCauley said that he offered them for free in writing on July 4. However, he said that he has not been contacted by the team or the NFL.

The reason for the hold up is because McCaulay has trademarks for the Washington Space Commanders and Washington Wolf Commanders, via Josh Gerben. He supposedly will sell them, but if he changes his mind the Commies will probably have to change their name if they want to capitalize on merch and licensing. He’s a better man than me though if he agrees to hand them over for free. First, I’d make the Commies pay reparations for forcing me to watch that product for the last 40 years and second, I wouldn’t sell them until Dan Snyder is completely gone.

What a brilliant move from McCaulay that now I want to capitalize on this. Since none of our teams are changing their names any time soon, I think the only thing I can do is get ahead of the future Philadelphia WNBA franchise. I’m gonna start filing trademarks right after this. I think the Philadelphia Bells, Philadelphia Independence, Philadelphia Rockys, and Philadelphia Fever. I’m gonna have Josh Harris by the balls. He doesn’t get the trademark until the Sixers make it out of the second round.