Donovan McNabb is a Huge Asshole

Photo Credit: John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

Donovan McNabb was on 97.5 today with Harry Mayes, Brian Baldinger and his crazy-ass pinky. Here’s what he (McNabb, not Baldy’s wild pinky) said about Nick Foles:

Does he give you the impression that he’s a franchise quarterback?

“I can’t answer that at this particular point, but if I had to give a take, I would say no. I think what he will do, he won’t do what he did last year, that just won’t happen. 27 touchdowns, 2 interceptions. I see him more being maybe a 25 touchdown, maybe a 8-10 interception guy. [They’re] trying to have in the mind of Nick Foles is you don’t have to take chances all the time. There’s nothing wrong with checking down to the back, utilizing your tight end. You don’t have to take the shots all the time. It’s not one of those type of offenses where we’re going to score on the first play and get off the field. The thing for Nick Foles is, don’t worry about what you did last year. Focus on what’s going on nowThings are going to change. Defenses are game planning for you. They’ll try and eliminate LeSean McCoy but you are their focus, and if they provide pressure to you and get you out of your spot, then they’ve done their job.”

“Nick Foles is not known for his ability to get out of the pocket. When I had him on my show, I told him, Has anyone ever told you you have the speed of a turtle? When he’s running the read option, I’ve never seen a quarterback move so slow.”

FUCK YOU, DONOVAN MCNABB. FUCK YOU.

Is he joking with this? I can’t answer that… but no. Go. To. Hell. Who in the world is McNabb to tell Foles, whose team led the league in 20+ yard plays and pass plays(!), that he should be “Checkdown Charlie”? What a patronizing son of a bitch. It’s not one of those offenses where we’re going to score on the first play and get off the field? Ummmm, that’s pretty much Chip’s goal, you idiot– score quickly and get off the field. Not only is Five an asshole, his analysis couldn’t be more wrong. And he’s so butthurt that someone is more beloved (read: beloved at all) in Philly. Don’t worry about what you did last year? This coming from the guy who WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING. God I hate this man. Five may always love me but I’ll always hate him. I’ll hate him in a house. I’ll hate him with a mouse. I’ll hate him here or there. I’ll hate him everywhere. I hate Donovan McNabb more every day. I hate him more today than I did yesterday, and I’ll hate him more tomorrow than I do today.

Listen to the whole thing here.

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Roster Moves: Flyers Extend Zac Rinaldo For Some Reason, Maikel Franco Starting Tonight, Sixers Eyeing Australian Forward

Photo Credit: Anne-Marie Sorvin-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Anne-Marie Sorvin-USA TODAY Sports

Flyers left wing Zac Rinaldo has signed a two-year extension on his contract one year after signing a two-year extension on his contract. From Kyle, who’s too busy lambasting Donovan McNabb at the moment: Yes, because the top priority of any GM, especially one touting his use of analytics, should be to extend your lunatic goon when there’s absolutely no reason to do so (!!!). Even Rinaldo can’t fucking believe his good fortune: “I’m surprised that we’d even started to talk about it so early, but I am thrilled.” Some things never change.

Elsewhere in things never change land: CHANGE! Tonight, Phillies prospect Maikel Franco will start, batting 7th and playing third base. Franco, who has been the subject of many “Why aren’t they bringing him up?” cries for some time now, has the expanded rosters to thank for his call-up. We’ve got no idea what Franco has at the Major League level, but tonight he becomes the youngest position player to debut for the Phils since Jimmy Rollins.

And over in “everything is always changing” land, the 76ers are reportedly looking at Australian forward Joe Ingles. Coach Brett Brown knows Australian basketball from coaching the national team, so it’s no surprise they’re looking in that direction. The 26-year-old Ingles is currently playing for the national squad in the FIBA World Cup, where he is averaging 14.5 points and shooting 75% from the floor in two games. According to Liberty Ballers, Ingles has played four seasons in Spain, and in Tel Aviv in 2013. He’d likely come very cheap, which is the only word Sam Hinkie heard in this whole conversation.

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For Only One Hundred and Fifty Non-Refundable Dollars, You Can Try Out for the 87ers

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Are you pretty decent at basketball? Do you want to hang with Ceasar? Got $150 you’re fine with never seeing again? Give trying out for the 87ers a shot.

The 76ers’ D-League squad, which currently features Giannis Antetokounmpo’s brother Thanasis Antetokounmpo and no one else of note, might look a little better with you on it. On Saturday, September 13th, you can head out to King of Prussia to prove it. The 87ers’ are holding an open tryout at KOP’s Competitive Edge Sports, where players will be evaluated by Philadelphia 76ers and Delaware 87ers basketball operations staff [Editor's note: Hinkie is just finding value all over the goddamn place] from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. and a few will be invited to a private tryout the next day. From there, if any are good enough, they may be invited to Sevens training camp.

If you think you can make the cut, or just have $150 you’re willing to spend on a goof (which we 100% support), you can fill out the form over here.

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Time is Running Out to Sign Up for Draft Kings’ Week 1 Fantasy Football

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We’re only two days away from the start of the 2014 NFL season with Packers vs. Seahawks kicking it all off on Thursday night. After that early matchup, the first football Sunday of the season will be upon us, and it’s about damn time. For that Sunday set of games, there’s still time to sign up for Draft Kings’ Week One Fantasy Football Challenge where — as we’ve mentioned before — you can win some great prizes. It’s only $2 to play in the Week 1 game and that fee is waived with a minimum $5 deposit. Before you even sign up, you can pick your team for Week 1 and enter to win some real money:

- $100,000 prize pool
- $10,000 1st Place prize
- Top 11,500 (!) are paid
- Starts on Sunday, September, 7th at 1:00 EST
- Salary cap style drafting
- $50,000 to select 9 spots. 8 players and 1 defense
- Roster Format: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 1 TE, 1 Flex, 1 defense
- First time depositors at Draft Kings receive a 100% bonus up to $600

That first $5 deposit will make this entry FREE and give you an additional $5 bonus in your account to join other leagues. It doesn’t get much better than that. The whole thing will cost you less time (and less money) than a coffee break, and you can get started right here.

We’ve been working with the folks from Draft Kings – formerly as Draft Street – for years now. Good people, cool service. Totally legit. No BS. Just fun, daily and weekly fantasy leagues for cash. Create your team.

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The Eagles’ 2014 Pump-up Video Will Give You a Blazing Woodrow

Got a little late-90s EA Sports commercial feel to it. I like it. I’m ready. #FlyEaglesFly

UPDATE: That is indeed Bradley Cooper narrating.

H/T to All-Star CB reader Dan

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The Philadelphia Fire Department Has Launched an Investigation over Those Photos of Danny Watkins Fighting a Four-alarm Fire

Photo: Dan Clerico, NortheastBravest.com

Photo: Dan Clerico, NortheastBravest.com

Well, that escalated quickly.

Eliot Shorr-Parks of NJ.com is reporting that the Philadelphia Fire Department has launched an internal investigation over those photos we posted of Danny Watkins fighting a four-alarm fire in December, 2012:

After photos surfaced last week of former Eagles offensive lineman Danny Watkins at the scene of a fire in 2012, the Philadelphia Fire Department has launched an internal investigation into whether Watkins violated fire department policy by being at the scene, NJ.com has learned.

Whether Watkins entered the building is not clear.

Philadelphia Fire Chief Peter Crespo told NJ.com that even though Watkins might have signed a waiver, acknowledging the danger, the department is treating the investigation as a “serious” matter.

Crespo also said the department will investigate allegations that Watkins gave firefighters tickets to Eagles games in exchange for being allowed to ride along with them and fight fires. Crespo said the investigation into Watkins’ involvement is expected to take a few weeks.

To me, Watkins carrying a saw and wearing a helmet and oxygen mask make it likely that he entered the building… but all I know about fires is that I can prevent ones of the forest variety (thanks, Smokey!).

Now seems like a good time to mention the unsubstantiated tip I got over the weekend* alleging that Watkins used to fight fires in South Jersey as well. Take that one with a tiny grain of salt, but where there’s smoke, there’s, well, Danny Watkins.

*I read it and have no idea where I filed it. If you’re the person who sent it to me, please send again.

Les Bowen tweeted, somewhat boastfully, that this story was in the Inquirer last year. Perhaps it was. Jeff McLane apparently wrote it and says that, for some reason, it’s no longer available online (got to love Philly.com). The photos, available on NortheastBravest.com, were never published elsewhere. The only previous (media) mention of them I can find is on the Miami Herald’s terrible website. There, a writer cites this tale from the Philadelphia Daily News (Bowen’s paper, not McLane’s):

“That photo on the firefighting site Northeastbravest.com the Inquirer uncovered, of Danny dressed out in full Rescue 1 gear at a Northeast Philly fire last Dec. 16, carrying a motorized saw, is really all you need to know about Danny and passion. His passion was for firefighting, which is what he left idyllic Kelowna, British Columbia, to come to the United States to learn more about. He got sidetracked by football. When somebody tells you that you can win a college scholarship, and then make millions of dollars doing something professionally, you pay attention. But paying attention does not put you on the intensity same level as someone who has spent his life hungry to play the game, living it, breathing it.

The Eagles were off that day in December when Danny toted gear around for his fire department buddies. But less than two months earlier, he had left the starting lineup with an ankle problem, and then he’d lost his starting job to journeyman Jake Scott, signed off the street. You’re a recent No. 1 pick consigned to the bench. Wouldn’t you want to spend every extra minute watching tape, perfecting technique, working in the weight room to get bigger and faster?”

Of course, that original Daily News story is nowhere to be found either. But it apparently completely buried the lede and missed the fact that an NFL player was violating the terms of his contract oh and also the law by fighting what was a four-alarm fire. Newspapers FTW!

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(Almost) Every National ESPN Writer Predicts Eagles Win Division, (Almost) None Pick Them to Win Conference Championship

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Now that we’ve seen Sports Illustrated‘s pundit predicitions, we can look at ESPN’s and see that they’re more of the same. That chart above shows the only person of sixteen national writers who picked the Eagles to win the NFC (and the Super Bowl). Meanwhile, the chart below shows that Grantland’s Bill Barnwell is the only of the surveyed country-wide writers to pick anyone but the Eagles to win the NFC East:

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Additionally, that makes the Eagles the by-default consensus choice to win the NFC East, but the consensus Coach of the Year choice also goes to Chip Kelly. Votes in the latter category were also cast for Bill O’Brien, John Fox, Sean Payton, Jim Harbaugh, Jim Caldwell, Mike Tomlin, Bill Belichick, Marc Trestman, and Pete Carroll. The powered-by-Bounce LeSean McCoy received two MVP votes (Ashley Fox and KC Joyner). Looking into only the NFC reporters brings back more mixed results for division champion, while a couple of AFC reporters predict an Eagles championship, and Trey Wingo picks the Redskins to own the division.

What does this really tell us? That most people like the Eagles to win the division, and Trey Wingo is wrong.

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You’ll Never Guess Which Team Signed Kurt Coleman

via LSUFreek

via LSUFreek

Three months after admitting that he’s better off staying out of the way on personnel decisions, and just a month after reaffirming his belief in 1960s old ball coach tactics, Andy Reid and his Chiefs have signed former Eagles (failed) draft picks Mike McGlynn and, now, Kurt Coleman.

From the National Football Post:

Veteran safety Kurt Coleman has joined the Kansas City Chiefs, according to his agent, Blake Baratz.

Coleman was cut by the Minnesota Vikings.

Coleman, 25, is a former Ohio State standout drafted by the Philadelphia Eagles in the seventh round of the 2010 NFL draft.

Said Reid in June:

“About a year ago, I found out what I wasn’t good at because [I was] out the door,” said Reid, now the Kansas City Chiefs coach. “I went back, and I looked at it, and . . . I drifted away from the thing I love doing most, and that was coaching.”

“I took [myself] completely out, dealt more with personnel . . . stopped calling the plays, all those things,” Reid said.

And in the past week the Chiefs have signed McGlynn and Coleman. I’m telling you, the firefighter is next.

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