Cowboys Writers are full of Panic and Despair

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As expected, the Cowboys writers for Dallas’s’s’s’s’s two major newspapers are pretty much taking the same perspective: Panic. Not only did they lose to the Eagles, at home, on Thanksgiving, but they lost their first place (tied) spot in the division. Among the analysts there is some rational breakdown, but there’s a lot of doomsday panic.

From Gil Lebreton’s “As they boasted, Eagles own the Cowboys“:

Who owns the Dallas Cowboys?

Is this a trick question?

On Thursday, it was plain to see that the Philadelphia Eagles, emphatic 33-10 winners, owned the Cowboys. LeSean McCoy, who brashly made that original boast in training camp, owned them. Mark Sanchez, the less-heralded of the day’s starting quarterbacks, owned them. The Philadelphia defense, ranked no better than 26th in the NFL, owned them. The brief week between games owned them. The lingering jet lag from London owned them. Missing a good spot in line for the Black Friday sales owned them. Have we left out any more excuses?

Oh, right. Tony Romo got owned by the Eagles.

From Tim Cowlishaw, of Around the Horn semi-fame, at the Dallas Morning News, “Cowboys’ defense shredded; playoffs in doubt“:

It definitely was the Cowboys on Thursday, and you have to wonder if this defense will be overmatched in every game until the season finale in Washington, which, come to think of it, looms as a somehow scary rematch with Colt McCoy.

Yes, the Cowboys are 8-4, and everyone would have taken that record heading into December in a heartbeat three months ago. But are the Cowboys also in danger of missing the playoffs?


Talk radio host Bob Sturm is surprisingly one of the more panic-free analysts:

“It absolutely doesn’t feel great what we saw today. I absolutely believed the Cowboys were on equal footing with the Eagles. The tiebreaker had to be a quarterback that was going to be the best on the field. When you enter a game thinking you have a reasonable advantage at a position over a rival and you’re playing at home, to then find yourself humbled across the board, that’s quite disconcerting. I don’t know if there should be full panic.”

Name champion of the Cowboys writers, Rainer Sabin, has one of the better complete paragraphs:

The end of the game coincided with the grisly death of the quarterback’s 38-game passing touchdown streak. His punctuation mark on a wretched performance? Fittingly, it was an interception — one of two he threw during a day when he was the face of an overmatched team.

The Morning News’ Rick Gosselin was the first (and only?) to feel the need to mention Pitbull:

Pitbull was there. Lee Ann Womack was there. So was a very partisan home crowd 91,379, the largest of the season at AT&T Stadium.

Everyone showed up Thursday to see what Cowboys owner Jerry Jones called the biggest Thanksgiving game in his memory.

Everyone was there, that is, except the vaunted Cowboys’ offense.

Oh Rick, didn’t you also notice that the Cowboys’ special teams and defense were absent as well? But at least they had Pitbull. If things go the Cowboys’ way next week (and the Seahawks way here) and then the Eagles drop it to the Cowboys at the Linc, this whole situation will be reversed. But for right now, it’s a long holiday weekend, so pointing and laughing is totally acceptable.


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Skip Bayless’ Twitter Timeline was a Thanksgiving Gift to us All

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Earlier this week, lifelike wax figure Skip Bayless tweeted “The Dallas Cowboys are going to beat the Eagles (b/c Cowboys have better QB, RB, WR, line and D) and they are going to win the NFC East.” Bayless was obviously very wrong, and few things in life can bring more joy than reveling in an incorrect Skip Bayless prediction. Christmas when you’re a kid is probably number one. The birth of your first child is up there. Your wedding day, sure. But watching Skip Bayless melt down is a strong number four.

During the game yesterday, Bayless was tweeting his reaction, which went through all five stages of grief, while we grabbed those tweets (and some of the best, less profane responses) in a Storify after the jump. It was the Thanksgiving we all deserve.

Continue reading


Bird Droppings: Stuffing the Cowboys

Photo credit: Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

What’s that sound? Do you hear it? It’s a funny, squeaky sound. No, no, it’s not a squirrel burrowing through your burnt-out Christmas tree— it’s the sound of Cowboys fans scurrying back into the holes from which they came.

The Cowboys were due for this. Tony Romo’s playing with half a back, Dez Bryant is a ticking time bomb, Jason Garrett has the sourpuss look of a coach who couldn’t instill confidence in an eighth grade flag football team, and the so-called ‘Boys were coming off a strange scheduling thing which took them to London, then gave them a week off, and then had them play on Sunday Night Football just four days before their biggest division matchup of the year. If sports are all about routine, the Cowboys haven’t had one in a month. It showed yesterday.


Mark Sanchez

The NY papers can make fun of Sanchez all they want. He is, in fact, good for one hilarious play per game. The Eagles will have to build that into their gameplan— Mark’s one ridiculous, potential game-costing gaff or throw per game. But he’s also the alpha male. I thought so earlier this season when NFL Network cameras caught him on the sideline joshing with Nick Foles. Sure, he was joking around about the now-injured quarterback’s pale skin, but Foles reacted the way the nerd who sits at the cool kids table in high school (every cool kids table has one quasi-nerd who has penetrated their ranks) reacts to such things: he smiled, sheepishly, but deep down inside realized that such comments were meant to solidify the social pecking order. We saw that behavior again yesterday when Sanchez chastised a progressively annoying Riley Cooper when Cooper questioned his QB’s instruction— “LISTEN TO ME!” Sanchez could be seen saying to Cooper. There wasn’t going to be a debate, whether Mark was right or wrong. He said it and so it goes.

You see it in post-game interviews with him. You see it on the sidelines. You see it in the huddle (when they do that sort of thing). There’s something about him that instills confidence in you (as a fan). He’s not great, by any stretch. He has a weak arm, he misses a couple of very completable passes per game, but he also moves well in the pocket, makes smart decisions when no one’s open, and has an excellent timing thing going on with Jordan Matthews. And he’s able to pick his spots running the ball. I don’t know what the Eagles are going to do when and if Foles comes back, but I’ll be real disappointed if Sanchez keeps playing at his current level and then gets benched.


LeSean McCoy

He’s back. He showed a patience yesterday that we haven’t seen since last season. Instead of just plunging into the line or through the sweep like an overzealous Madden player holding down the speed burst button (like he had been doing for most of the season), McCoy sized up the coverage, waited for his blocks, and slipped through holes for positive yards. That’s the McCoy of old. He ripped off some 7-10-yard runs (estimating) that would’ve been losses or no gains earlier in the season… simply because he was patient.

McCoy loves a challenge. He thinks he’s the best back in the league, and being pitted against DeMarco Murray, the actual best back in the league, had him raise his game to another level. I don’t think there’s another player that would’ve been happier with FOX’s (really boring looking) Galloping Gobbler or whatever-the-fuck award. McCoy wanted the nation to know that he thinks he’s the best. No, seriously, he told everyone about it after he mocked Dez Bryant’s touchdown celebration:

But then he picked his nose on national TV:

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And dressed like Michael Jackson after the game:

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via (@Banditmax)

So bad.

And I’m pretty sure Dez didn’t like McCoy doing his celebration:

Photo credit: Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports


Tony Romo

HAHAHA. Yoooooooo— who tackled you here?


This is what happens when a meddling owner pressures his “star” quarterback into playing injured— the discomfort is so great that the said “star” quarterback becomes afraid of his own shadow… or someone else’s… or nothing at all. Basically, he just gets scared. Romo is scared.


Fletcher Cox

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He’s comin’ for ya!


Bradley Fletcher and Dez Bryant

This matchup terrified me, but to his credit, Fletcher, along with some over-the-top help, was mostly able to shutdown Bryant. Now, this may have been because Fletcher mauled Bryant when he was able to get by him – leading to Bryant calling the Eagles cheap shots – but it doesn’t matter. For once Fletcher showed some fight. Can’t complain about him… today.


Cole Beasley

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via (@mjmatteo13)

Is a tiny, tiny man. Maybe if he was larger than 5’8 and 180 pounds, he would’ve been able to hold onto the ball on that fumble. Poor guy, by the end of the game even Chip Kelly felt bad for him and helped him up along the sidelines:

I gotcha, little guy

I gotcha, little guy


Darren Sproles

Here’s a long-ass feature story on him by SB Nation.


DeMarco Murray

That dude doesn’t break tackles, he doesn’t elude them… he just slips through them. He’ll look like he’s wrapped up at the line of scrimmage and then next thing you know he’s falling forward eight yards ahead for a near-first down. I can’t remember the last time I saw a player with the ability to consistently gain positive yards without barreling people over or running by them. It’s like there’s a glitch in the game when he has the ball.


The real cheap shot

Sitting around family, watching this play: “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?” I looked around, slowly, realizing that I wasn’t watching in the solitude of my own living room.


Pure class

Cowboys fans are just the worst:

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NY Daily News

Careful, these two covers (yesterday and today) might give you whiplash:

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Riley Cooper

The Cooper image saving tour lasted exactly 16 months. He’s been redeemed (hallelujah!)  and now back to being his old dickhead self. First there were the (supposedly joking but weird) comments about Jeremy Maclin and his immunity to subbing, and now Cooper screaming at his quarterback on the line of scrimmage like a mad man. I was amazed that you could actually hear him yelling. I thought, “Man, I’ve never heard a redneck get so angry over something so small”… but then I remembered Cooper yelling racial slurs and challenging people to fights at the Kenny Chesney concert last summer. Of course, we could look past this if Cooper didn’t drop one easily catchable ball per game.

Coop’s not a good receiver. He’s replacement level. But, his blocking makes him worth keeping around. He does a nice job of locking down the corner on sweeps and screen passes.


Taylor Swift

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I truly do respect the Eagles’ embracing of Taylor Swift here. Bonus points for the Lincoln Financial Field Twitter person following up with a link to (sold out?) tickets.




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Marky and the Jets:

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USA Today discovered that the Eagles aren’t technically undefeated on Thanksgiving since in 1940 Pennsylvania celebrated Thanksgiving on a different day than a lot of the country and shit was weird. Blame FDR.

Nick Foles could be out even longer than expected, up to 8-10 weeks, which puts him on pace with the amount of time missed by Aaron Rodgers last year for his clavicle injury.

Hey guys, don’t headbutt helmet-less teammates. It’s not nice.

Mark Sanchez said of his “dustup” with Riley Cooper:

“We’re a family and families get heated and get upset and that’s the way it goes. Both of us had something to say, we said it and that was it.”

Jim: The consensus among my turkey-high family was that Sanchez just pegged the ball at Cooper on the next play to prove a point.

LeSean McCoy is less than 50 yards away from becoming the Eagles all-time rushing leader, and he’s probably younger than you.

Reuben Frank’s ten observations turned into eleven with a bonus thought: ” I didn’t want to waste one of the 10 usual spots on this, but my goodness that Pitbull halftime show was an embarrassment.”

The Eagles strategy of wearing down the Cowboys’ (and everyone’s) defense worked out pretty well, according to Cowboys blog “Blogging the Boys” (ugh):

6.2: Yards per play given up by the Cowboys. This correlates roughly to their season average. The takeaway here is that the Cowboys defense didn’t necessarily play any worse than they have in any other game this year, or on the season as a whole, but that they were on the field for too many plays. To wit:

75: The Eagles total plays from scrimmage, tying a season-high, one more than the Giants ran the previous Sunday. There are two issues here; the first is that the undermanned Cowboys D played 149 plays in four days. If they were to have a realistic shot of competing against the Eagles, they probably needed to limit the Giants to about 55 plays, and then keep Philly in the mid 60s.

And a classy move from the Cowboys social media team, even with Brad Smith front and center:

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via (@NotEdKaul)

That it is, Edward. That it is indeed.


Dez Bryant, Whose Teammate Tried to Kill Nolan Carroll, Says the Eagles are “Kinda Cheap”

Pictured: Dez Bryant being wrong.

Cowboys receiver Dez Bryant, who somehow escapes being yelled at by Jason Witten simply by yelling himself, thinks the Eagles were “being kinda cheap” yesterday. Feel free to read that aloud to the vine above, in which Dwayne Harris forgets he’s not in NFL Blitz (and is on the receiving team) and tries to murder Nolan Carroll.

Bryant told the collected media, presumably in a much more appropriate volume than he was using to address his teammates:

“I’m really not mad at all. They beat us and I’m going to accept that, but [expletive] can’t wait, but not looking past Chicago [on Dec. 4], but I cannot wait to go up there and play [Philadelphia] again, cannot wait.

They were being kinda cheap, that’s another story. It is what it is, I’ll get it cleaned up and I’ll be fine.”

I mean Bryant is right. If you want to see cheap play, just watch how Nolan Carroll totally forced Dwayne Harris to almost take his head off of his shoulders. What a disgrace.


Happy Thanksgiving


UPDATE: Kelce wasn’t in the photo because he had to take a piss:


The NY Post Back Page is Pretty Amazing Today

If you told me last year that Mark Sanchez would be the Eagles’ starting quarterback on Thanksgiving against the Cowboys this year, I would’ve punched you.


Yasmany Tomas Has Reportedly Signed with the Diamondbacks

Here’s one more thing you, as a Phillies fan, don’t have to be thankful for.

Yosmany Tomas has reportedly agreed to a deal with the Arizona Diamondbacks, according to Jesse Sanchez of

Cuban outfielder Yasmany Tomas and the D-backs have agreed to a six-year deal worth $68.5 million, according to industry sources.

The Tomas deal is believed to have an opt-out and is pending a physical, the sources said. The D-backs have not confirmed the agreement.

Lovely. The Phillies had apparently cooled on Tomas (because of his defense) in recent weeks, so this doesn’t come as a huge surprise. But it’s yet another minor disappointment as Tomas would’ve been a nice building block for the Phils in the second half of the decade that will be their half-assed rebuilding project.

And here’s another disconnected media type to tell you why you shouldn’t be bummed out:

Happy Thanksgiving.

My thoughts: This sucks. Six years and $68 million, while it may tell you something about the holes in Tomas’ game, is not a lot for a player who could turn into a star. Add in the reported opt-out clause after four years – allowing Tomas to leave if his team is floundering, or for any other reason – and the contract, by itself, is well worth the risk. One refrain, cited by who else but WB Murphy and Gelb, is that you can’t call for the Phillies to rebuild or trade Cole Hamels while at the same time complaining that they didn’t sign Tomas. Huge flaw in that thinking, though: Hamels is 30 and costs twice as much. Tomas, at 24, could be a legitimate star in two or three years when the Phillies could, in theory, contend again (not likely). He’d be entering his prime at a cheap price. Hamels will likely be an overpaid veteran by then. You can’t even compare the two players. Wanting the Phils to trade Hamels for some top prospects (I’m not even saying I want them to), or just rebuild in general, is a lot different than wanting them to sign an affordable 24-year-old with huge upside. And Ruben Amaro’s an idiot.

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