Nerlens Noel Broke Some Tiny Child’s Ankles, Swatted Another’s Shot

Some young smack-talker at Camp One in Louisville, Kentucky got it in his head that he should talk junk to the 6’11” Nerlens Noel. It didn’t work out so well, and you’ve really gotta appreciate Nerlens for not only making the kid fall, and not only blowing past him, but then THROWING IT DOWN. Nerlens also won’t let you beat him in knockout. Nope. Not at all. Continue reading

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How Sam Hinkie Turned the Idea of a Second Round Pick Into Seven Players and Four Picks

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This was laid out in a previous post, but let’s dig a little deeper here.

In 2014, Sam Hinkie’s way of taking on salary dumps and making the Sixers available as the third team in three-team deals was the “protected second round pick.” And boy was it protected. The teams “receiving” the pick in these deals had no illusions that they’d actually get it (and if they did, it was just a plus). They just needed to dump some salary or a player in a deal with a trade exemption and the Sixers needed to toss something out there in return. So let’s look at what Sam Hinkie did with a protected 2014 second round pick. [Ed. Note: All of these deals MIGHT be for the same pick. They probably are. That is, however, unconfirmed at this point.]:

  • July 13, 2013
    • Sixers acquire rights to Royce White and Furkan Aldemir from the Rockets in exchange for a 2014 second round pick (protected top 55)
  • August 22nd, 2013
    • Sixers acquire Tony Wroten from the Grizzlies in exchange for a 2014 second round pick (protected top 50 and #56-50)
  • February 20th, 2014
    • Sixers acquire Byron Mullens, and a 2018 second round pick from the Clippers in exchange for a 2014 second round pick (protected top 40 and #46-60)
    • Sixers acquire Eric Maynor, a 2015 second round pick (used to draft Arturas Guaditis), and a 2016 second round pick in a three-team trade with the Nuggets and Wizards. The Sixers send away a 2014 second round pick (protected top 45 and #51-60)

Also on February 20th, 2014, the Sixers traded Evan Turner and Lavoy Allen to the Pacers for Danny Granger and the 2015 second round pick they’d use to select Luka Mitrovic.

After doing all of that dealing, the Sixers’ 2014 second round pick — essentially protected from pick #40 to pick #60 — didn’t convey, so they got to keep it. Hinkie used that pick to select K.J. McDaniels. Down the line, he traded McDaniels for Isaiah Canaan and a 2015 second round pick, which he used to select Richaun Holmes.  The Sixers still have Aldemir and Wroten from the earlier deals, and yesterday, Hinkie packaged the rights to Mitrovic and the rights to Guaditis (from the Maynor trade) for Nik Stauskas, Carl Landry, Jason Thompson, a future first round pick, and the right to swap two other first round picks. The long road that began almost two years ago with the Aldemir deal is still being paved, but it doesn’t make it any less amazing.

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Wawa Applied to Sell Beer in Delco

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Wawa currently sells beer in Virginia and Florida. Wawa wants to sell beer in Pennsylvania, but Pennsylvania’s super-antiquated liquor laws make that hard. It hasn’t stopped the goose from trying, though, as representatives from the ‘Wa appeared before the Concord Township Board of Supervisors on Tuesday seeking approval to begin selling six-packs at the store on Naamans Creek Road in Chadds Ford.” According to Philly.com, “residents at the hearing worried the plan might lead to raucous behavior or loitering,” you know, like what happens everywhere else they sell six packs of beer … or something. We must protect the puritanical nonsense of the PA State Liquor Code!

For real, though, allowing the Wawa in Chadds Ford to sell six-packs is a huge deal. If it goes through, who knows how long it’ll be before you can get your shortis and your tallboys in one trip. That’d be nice. And let’s be honest, it wouldn’t even increase the frequency of the average Delconian’s Wawa trips. I was at my parents’ house for two days last week and went to Wawa four times.

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Just in Time for Fourth of July Weekend, Mack and Manco Owners Plead Guilty to Tax Evasion

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Charles Bangle and his wife, Mary, owners of Mack & Manco* pled guilty to federal tax evasion charges.  From Philly.com:

Thursday Charles Bangle admitted to significantly underreporting taxes on his 2010 return, avoiding paying more than $91,000 in taxes, and structuring financial transactions in 2011 to avoid taxation. Authorities have said they made cash deposits to their personal accounts in small amounts so as to avoid detection.

Mary Bangle admitted that she lied to IRS agents about financial transactions.

Sentencing is set for October 8. Charles Bangle faces up to 10 years in prison, and his wife could be sentenced to five years. They each face a $250,000 fine.

Let this be a lesson, boys and girls, to never run your business out of a cash box.

Side note: I guess this explains why it’s now $18 for a pie? Uncle Sam has been brought into the equation.

*I don’t acknowledge the name Manco & Manco. It’s Mack and it’ll always be Mack.

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Today In “Kyle’s Not Going In The Ocean This Summer”

Yeah, there’s no empirical evidence that sharks will adapt their diet to consume humans. Right. Goddamn things are willing to chew through raw steel just to get a taste.

[Video posted this week. Taken in South Africa.]

via Bro Bible, H/T to to my man on dry land (@ErikE8098)

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Your Updated Sam Hinkie Flowchart

Credit to Jim for the work on the flowchart

Credit to Jim for the work on the flowchart

Somewhere, Dick Jerardi still thinks the Sixers should’ve kept Evan Turner.

If you’ll notice, the protected 2014 second round pick in the top left that was traded for a 2016 second round pick, Eric Maynor, and one of the 2015 second round picks (Arturas Gudaitis) used to acquire Nik Stauskas et al. was protected and itself never vested (top-45, 51-60 protected). The Sixers kept it and drafted K.J. McDaniels, who turned into a 2015 second round pick (Richaun Holmes) and Isaiah Caanan. So, if you’re keeping score at home, Sam Hinkie, magically, turned one 2014 second round pick into Holmes, Canaan, a 2016 second round pick, and a portion of the offering for Stauskas, Landry, Thompson, a protected 2018 first round pick, and the right to swap first round picks with the Kings in the next two drafts. WITCH! WITCH!

Full flowchart after the jump. Continue reading

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Sixers Acquire Nik Stauskas, Others in Salary Dump Trade

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BEFORE YOU PANIC: If Woj meant Saric, he probably would’ve said Saric.

According to super-insider Adrian Wojnarowski, the Sixers have acquired Kyle Scott look-alike Nik Stauskas, Carl Landry, and Jason Thompson from the Kings in exchange for overseas players (probably Micic, Kazemi, or a couple of the dudes they drafted this year). The Sixers reportedly wanted Stauskas — which may mean a buyout for Landry and Thompson — and the Kings are trying to dump salary to make a run at Rajon Rondo, Monta Ellis, and/or Wes Matthews.

We’ll have more on this in the morning.

UPDATE: Also a pick?

UPDATE 2: According to Zach Lowe, “Sixers will receive a protected 1st-round pick from the Kings, and swap rights w/ Sacto in the 1st round of two other drafts, sources say.” If they still didn’t give up Saric in this deal, it’s remarkable.

UPDATE 3: According to Woj, the deal shakes out like this:

“The Kings traded forwards Carl Landry and Jason Thompson and 2014 No. 8 overall draft pick Nik Stauskas to the 76ers for the rights to overseas players and a future second-round draft pick, sources said.”

Saric’s name has still not been mentioned, so I assume he’s safe.

UPDATE 4: DARIO IS SAFE.

UPDATE 5: There’s some stuff involving Chicago, but this is the simplest breakdown of the picks exchanged:

swap

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Here’s the First Trailer for Creed

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Or: The Human Torch Runs Through South Philly

The first trailer for the seventh film in the Rocky series, Creed, debuted last night. It features all of the things you expect in the trailer of a Rocky film: A run through the Italian Market, extensive training shots, Stallone mumbling while wearing a dumb hat. Hell, I even deserve hip points for spotting Johnny Brenda’s stage in the trailer. As someone who didn’t care at all about Rocky Balboa, this looks pretty good.

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