2B Chase Utley has been diagnosed with a mild grade 1 oblique strain and placed on 15-day DL. A corresponding roster move will be made 2moro
— Phillies (@Phillies) May 24, 2013
You get your toilet cones out of here and I won’t jump over this counter and punch you in the brain: [Click2Houston.com]
The Houston Astros are winning, the hot dogs are selling, and all is right with the world at Minute Maid Park. But not inside a men’s restroom.
Cell phone video shows a ball park snow cone vendor sitting on a toilet in a stall with an entire box full of the products he’s about to sell. They sit on the bathroom floor right next to him.
The person who recorded the video and gave it to Local 2 said: “I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. This guy is taking a dump. There’s no doubt about it. What sane person could possibly think, yeah this is a good idea. I’ll just put the food that I’m about to sell on the floor.”
I’m not even sure it matters. Have you ever tried to eat one of those things? This guy could have shit directly onto the sno-cones and you still wouldn’t have been able to pick it out of the icy mass with that shitty spoon they give you. You’d just get a mouthful of sugar and food coloring and then be disappointed and cry about it because JOEY GOT THE SCREWBALL* AND JESSIE GOT THE CHACO TACO AND MY SNO-CONE SUCKS!
*Screwball is far and away the best ice cream truck treat. Don’t even think about arguing that fact.
A couple months ago we showed you a picture of Eric Wellwood’s bloody skate after Wellwood had an artery and his Achilles sliced by a skate. Today, he got his cast off and began rehab, and his leg looks predictably gross.
Watch the video after the jump. “I only had a certain amount of time before I bled out.” Continue Reading…
I love our world sometimes. Tim McManus is reporting that Michael Vick will receive a key to Atlantic City. From Mayor Lorenzo Langford: [Philly Mag]
“Michael Vick is caring and compassionate enough to reach out to our city when we were at our lowest point during the immediate aftermath of Super Storm Sandy,” said Mayor Langford. “Twelve hours after a nationally televised Monday Night Football game, he was lifting the spirits of our residents confined to shelters with his generosity’ particularly our young people.
“And now, here he is again, helping us to spread the message that Atlantic City is open for business and ready for the summer season, all while continuing to encourage our youth to make positive contributions to the community.”
A few years ago, Vick was given a key to, of all places, Dallas. He accepted it, but the mayor quickly backtracked and said that Vick was given the key without his knowledge. These keys are solely symbolic, of course, and, sadly, they wouldn’t even open a good chastity belt. But, FOX Editor Kyle Carmean may have put it best regarding Vick being given the key to Atlantic City: “Khalif Wyatt had the ultimate key to AC.” That he did, Kyle. That he did.
This is David Samson – the President of the Florida Marlins who likely played a key role in dismantling the team over the winter – enjoying his team’s 7-3 loss to the Phillies on Tuesday night. Luckily for him and his friend, who doesn’t look much like his wife Cindi, they were surrounded by plenty of empty seats to keep their conversation private.
There would be a mutiny in Florida… if only there were fans who cared. Fans. Just fans.
A reader sent us this photo of a fender bender Claude Giroux was involved in on December 10, 2011, the same day that Giroux was kicked in the back of the head by Wayne Simmonds and suffered a concussion. He had a bad day that day.
Now Giroux is being sued by the woman he hit (and her husband!) for damages, injuries, inconveniences and, yeah, marital problems suffered as a result of the crash. In turn, Giroux is suing Frederick Chevrolet because, at the time of the crash, he was driving one of their Camaros as part of a sponsorship deal. Giroux was under the impression from Frederick that he was covered by their insurance, but he wasn’t. The woman, Nicole Ransom (some last name here…), and her husband, Norman, are suing Giroux, Frederick, its insurance company and other Chevy-related entities on three different counts for roughly $1 million… yeah, from that accident.
Count 1: Negligence. Basically, Ransom is claiming that Giroux is a shitty driver who was going too fast, following too closely and failed to take evasive action to avoid the accident. As a result, she “sustained serious and permanent physical injuries, including but not limited to, cervical spine strain and sprain, thoracic spine strain and sprain, lumbar spine strain and sprain, bilateral upper trapezius fibromyositis, and severe damage to her nerves and nervous system.” Those injuries, she alleges, have caused her “mental anguish, physical pain and inconvenience.” And:
They are seeking $50,000 plus interest and court costs from each of the six parties on that count.
Count 2, my favorite: Loss of consortium. This:
They are seeking $50,000 plus interest and court costs from each of the six parties on that count.
Count 3: Property damage. The Ransoms “sustained severe property damage to their motor vehicle, towing and storage costs and rental charges.”
They are seeking $50,000 plus interest and court costs from each of the six parties on that count.
Court documents say that a jury trial is demanded.
Meanwhile, Giroux had already filed a lawsuit against Frederick back in February claiming that he attempted to get insurance on the Camaro, but was not approved. He said that he was then assured by Frederick that he was insured under the dealer’s insurance to be driving the vehicle. He wants Frederick to pay all charges relating to Ransom’s lawsuit.
I spoke with the reader who sent us the photo of the accident– he says that it didn’t appear to be that serious and that the woman was standing outside the car and talking cordially with Giroux and what looked to be Jody Shelley, who was following behind (the reader wasn’t sure on the second player, though). [UPDATE: Ready Tommy says he saw the accident as well and it was Brayden Schenn who followed behind G, not Shelley. Also said woman didn't appear hurt.] He said it looked like Giroux was signing an autograph for Ransom, but that it could have been some sort of paperwork related to the accident. Regardless, he feels that Ransom’s claims seem excessive in this case. Can’t argue there.
I’m willing to bet this gets settled out of court.
You can view both lawsuits after the jump. I’ve redacted Giroux’s address… which was (still) listed as Danny Briere’s. Continue Reading…
GET ME THE STEED!
Cliff Lee must have thought the Phillies were playing the Jelly Fish, not the Marlins… because he was pissing excellence all over the place last night. Nine innings. Three hits. No runs. Five strikeouts. Two walks. 115 pitches– 85 strikes. Two turtle doves and a heaping pile of baseball sex in an empty-ass stadium.
He’s the best player on the Phillies, and it’s not even close.
Watch video after the jump.
Finally got a definite answer ..will #flyers G Ilya Bryzgalov be back with Flyers. Pres peter Luukko told me today..YES ! @fox29philly
— Howard Eskin (@howardeskin) May 22, 2013
See, I don’t know how to take this. Howard Eskin has had a terrible 2013 when it comes to original reports. Really, he hasn’t been right about anything. But here he’s giving you the source– tenured Flyers exec Peter Luukko with two U’s and two K’s, got it. There’s a real possibility that Eskin is just taking Luukko’s positive avoidance of the answer and running with it, and there’s also the possibility that Luukko is lying or doesn’t know yet and doesn’t feel like creating more controversey around the goofy goalie. But if the Flyers have already decided to keep Bryz and not amnesty (buy him out)– why? He’s not good. Save for a two-week stretch last March, Bryz has, at no time, played up to his contract. He’s an average goalie being paid wayyyy above average money. It’s gotten to the point where – and perhaps this isn’t entirely his fault – everything he says stirs some sort of controversy and serves as a distraction for the entire organization. What’s worse is that the league’s salary cap next season is going down to $64.3 million. Bryz’s cap hit is $5.6 million, which, after Danny Briere is gone, will be the second-highest on the team behind Old Man Timonen, who, for some unexplainable reason, was signed to a one-year, $6 million extension last year.
Capgeek (includes Pronger and Briere)
Once Pronger and Briere come off the books (LTIR, trade or amnesty), the Flyers, who currently have the highest cap payroll by a wide margin, will be around $59 million, $5 million under the cap, with plenty of holes to fill. It makes no sense to keep around an average, overpaid goofball who, at this point, is nothing but a distraction.
