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After Careful Consideration… and a 30-7 Loss to the Patriots, the Vikings Decide Adrian Peterson Can Play This Week

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Vikings statement, the tone of which could only be more deaf if it was read by Marlee Matlin:

Today’s decision was made after significant thought, discussion and consideration. As evidenced by our decision to deactivate Adrian from yesterday’s game, this is clearly a very important issue. On Friday, we felt it was in the best interests of the organization to step back, evaluate the situation, and not rush to judgment given the seriousness of this matter. At that time, we made the decision that we felt was best for the Vikings and all parties involved.

To be clear, we take very seriously any matter that involves the welfare of a child. At this time, however, we believe this is a matter of due process and we should allow the legal system to proceed so we can come to the most effective conclusions and then determine the appropriate course of action. This is a difficult path to navigate, and our focus is on doing the right thing. Currently we believe we are at a juncture where the most appropriate next step is to allow the judicial process to move forward.

We will continue to monitor the situation closely and support Adrian’s fulfillment of his legal responsibilities throughout this process.

We should allow the legal system to proceed… or at least wait until the cuts heal.

11 Comments

People on Twitter Have a Lot of Thoughts about Mike Carey and His Jim Carrey Head

Mike Carey is a longtime veteran NFL official with tons of insight and expertise when it comes to how a football game is called. Unfortunately, he’s a frightened child on camera, and most people just can’t get past his abnormally giant head: Continue reading

4 Comments

Your Monday Morning Roundup: Grab All Deez Links

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And that should just about do it for the Jonathan Papelbon era in Philadelphia. He left us with a lasting image of the 2014 Phillies that we can all hang on our walls. Right next to images of Brad Lidge on his knees, Milt Thompson scaling the wall in San Diego, Doc hugging Chooch, there will be Papelbon… grabbing his dick, a gesture at least more memorable than dopey Kevin Millwood tossing his hat into the stands.

Let’s hit it!

 

But first, a word from our sponsors:

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NRG Energy. The good folks at NRG are responsible for all those wind turbines and solar panels down at the Linc, and we’ll be working with them this year to bring you some great giveaways.

 

The roundup:

Les Bowen got into a chirp fest with a colleague again.

“Tommy Up’s friend” is auctioning off LeSean McCoy’s receipt on eBay.

Can’t imagine why Riley Cooper doesn’t want people taking videos of him. Email from reader Nick:

So tonight, some friends and I were at Xfinity Live for the Billy Currington concert. After the show we thought we saw a guy who looked like Riley Cooper. One of my friends went up and asked “should I play you on my fantasy team on Monday” to which Cooper responded “I’m not playing Monday”. So now we had confirmation it was Riley Cooper. Well we took a few picture from a distance as Cooper and friends were having a good time. My friend goes to send a snapchat video of Cooper dancing and Coopers friend points out my buddy. Next thing you know Cooper and his even bigger friend come over to us, spin my friend around and Riley Cooper snatches his phone from him saying “pull them up and delete them. You think I don’t know you were sending a video chat? Delete them now!” As he is going through my buddy’s phone deleting pictures and video and even going as far as pulling up Instagram and snapchat to see if he posted pictures or video. He finally gives the phone back and says “we are just trying to have a good time. Stop filming us.” We were all shocked at how he behaved. Dude, you are a public figure at a public bar and concert, no need to loose your shit. I guess we should be happy he didn’t call us n****rs and threaten to fight us.

Here is a picture I got before he turned around and came at our group.

Riley Cooper is in the white tshirt with the pony tail. The guy that pointed us out was the guy in the black shirt with the pony tail.

Nick

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I don’t think he was being serious about not playing tonight. Here’s another account, via Twitter. Not sure if it’s part of the same group:

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You’re Riley Cooper, hanging out at Xfinity Live!, what do you expect?

No, Five, it isn’t ironic… don’t you think?

Voila_Capture 2014-09-15_09-04-30_AMThe Sixers showed off their new patch– something every team that has won a championship will get:

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Dan McQuade (@dhm) has a better idea for what is should say:

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Mike Sielski, weirdly, argues for the ideal image of an NFL quarterback– rich white kid [UPDATE: I've been asked by Sielski to change my false reading of his story, so I'll go with my second reaction to it-- what a stupid story this is]:

But contrary to all that legend-building of the past, it’s those similar backgrounds that might make Luck and Foles the ideal modern-day NFL quarterbacks. An ESPN study earlier this year found that the NFL’s 32 primary starting quarterbacks last season, Foles and Luck among them, came from zip codes with a mean income of $95,138. That income figure was more than 85 percent above the national average. More, 23 of those quarterbacks played high school football at public schools, particularly at “well-off districts” that “pour enormous amounts of public money into” the sport – a description that fits the environments that helped to form Foles and Luck as quarterbacks.

Um, OK.

Jamaal Charles, on whom Andy Reid encouraged a little tattooing, Texas-thing in training camp, left the game yesterday with an ankle injury. X-rays were negative, but Charles will get an MRI today. But this is my favorite part of the PFT story:

The injury came after only three touches — two rushes for four yards and one catch for nine. For the season, Charles has nine rushing attempts for 23 yards.

And a year after starting 9-0, the Chiefs have started 2014 at 0-2.

- happy emoticon -

Sports team values:

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Now we know why Joshua Harris is OK with a slow rebuild. That uptick in 2012– we’ll call it the sports are the only thing people watch live anymore inflection point.

Oklahoma State football player looks like he was about to squeeze the helmet on live TV.

Gus Johnson is stepping down as FOX’s soccer announcerRise and fired? Thanks, I’m here all week.

Marcus Vick is a dumb-dumb:

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via (@Hockeyjunkie88)

Sweet everything on Bryz here:

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I’ve seen some Shadying on Twitter lately:

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via (@akleinnn)

Personally, I prefer Papelboning:

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via (@EFQZ1)

via (@PeteBlackburn)

via (@PeteBlackburn)

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Speaking of dicks, Jayson Werth got kicked out of his fantasy football league because he is one:

The outfielder is in the fourth year of a seven-year, $126 million contract with the Nats, but that didn’t stop him from being so late with his league payment that his teammates decided it would be best to kick him out.

“We kicked Jayson Werth out of the league this year,” reliever Craig Stammen told The Washington Post. “Jayson failed to pay last year. He didn’t pay until spring training, so we kicked him out of the league for late payment.”

Shady shoe.

Jason Peters blocks like he’s in a ballet:

“This is going to sound a little weird, but to me, that’s what it looked like, a ballet,” Kelce said. “Jason has this weird way of moving where he never seems like he’s off balance. He’s so graceful. His feet are always in the right place. He’s got this body control that you don’t really see at the offensive line position.”

Microsoft has acquired Minecraft and will probably ruin it.

I don’t think it’s possible for Kanye West to be a bigger asshole– he encouraged two kids in wheelchairs to stand up at his concert.

 

Podcast
NJ.com writer Eliot Shorr-Parks joins me and Jim for our second annual Eagles season preview. Listen. New episode this week.

24 Comments

Video: Jonathan Papelbon Blows Save, Gets Booed off Mound, Grabs Crotch, Gets Ejected

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Noted dickbag Jonathan Paplebon blew a 4-1 lead in the ninth and allowed the eventual winning run to score on a wild pitch. Though Papelbon has been outstanding this season, he was booed off the mound for the effort, at which point he grabbed his crotch in the general direction of the crowd and the numerous kids sitting in the first few rows, and then was kicked out of the game by Joe West before charging out of the dugout, bumping West, and being shoved aside by the fat-assed umpire. How’s that for a run-on sentence? Continue reading

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Here’s the Glorious, Hi-res Photo of Jonathan Papelbon Grabbing His Dick

Jonathan Papelbon

Photo source: AP

[Click to enlarge]

This image was so good I had to buy it from the AP. Memes encouraged. Story and video here.

5 Comments

DeSean Jaccson and RGIII Got Hurt in the First Quarter Because Redskins

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Rough day in the nation’s capital. It would appear that RGIII has a broken [UPDATE: dislocated] ankle.

And a few plays later, DeSean Jaccson left the game with a shoulder injury:

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Both players are out for the game and, probably, much longer. Somewhere, Chip Kelly’s lips form a knowing smirk.

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Les Bowen Stumbled into yet Another Chirp Fest with a Colleague Today

I’m not sure why Les Bowen considers it wise or a sound career strategy to keep poking peers and colleagues, but that was again the case today when he responded, needlessly, to Jimmy Kempski’s Tweet promoting his forward-looking post about potential Eagles draft targets:

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Hooray. And we’re off:

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I’m not a fan of nonsensical draft conjecture, especially this early in the season, but Kempski does indeed know his audience, and on a day with a mostly meh slate of college games, his post at least provides some viewing guidance. Les is just a bitter, bitter man. Whether it’s a knock-down, drag-out (and literal!) Twitter fight with Jeff Mclane, or ripping genuinely successful new mediaererer Mike Florio, or complaining about Eliot Shorr-Parks’ reporting on the DeSean Jaccson story, or knocking bloggers doing good work, or previously chiding Kempski, Bowen is someone who has a serious problem with new media. Here’s a guy who “respects” his colleagues’ work, and yet…

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… a dig at Kempski’s propensity for using intentionally poorly drawn stick figures in his work, an approach that is both funny and insightful. Kempski is different in a way that is refreshing, especially on a mainstream site like Philly.com, and the fact that Bowen keeps criticizing this type of work makes him look like a Casio watch at 3 p.m. last Tuesday.

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“Tommy Up’s Friend” Is Auctioning off LeSean McCoy’s Receipt on eBay

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Absurd item description:

The item up for Auction is the controversial $0.20 Receipt for Philadelphia Eagles running back LeSean “Shady” McCoy’s meal at Philadelphia Restaurant, PYT.

The aforementioned receipt has caused quite the media buzz amongst social media/news networks/celebrities along with many others.

Not only do you get to keep a memento of weird current events/social media history but you also get an autograph from incredibly talented Philadelphia Eagles running back, LeSean McCoy!!!

As to how I came into possession of this item:

My good friend Tommy Up has left this receipt in my possession in order to ensure something positive comes out of this somewhat negative action that has recently taken place.

With your help we’ll be able to leave the largest tip possible to all PYT employees for their hard work and dedication.

The only thing we would like to ask on your end is for the winner to write a personalized note or card to the PYT staff, which we give to the staff along with the winning bid/tip. (We want to give credit where credit is due)

Happy Bidding!!!

This is attention-whoring the likes of which we’ve never seen. Never mind that the scummy tactic of selling a credit card receipt containing a (millionaire’s!) name and four digits* feels dangerously close to being illegal.

*I’m guessing they’re pretty accessible with the receipt in your possession.

8 Comments
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