Giveaways that you’re a notable person:
1) Sunglasses anywhere other than in direct sunlight.
2) Jeans that actually fit with hipster shoes to match.
3) YOU’RE CHASE FUCKING UTLEY AT A CHEESESTEAK PLACE IN SOUTH PHILLY.
I can only wonder which other establishments are frequented by a good looking rich man named Rick…
I got recognized a few months ago doing (assisted) dips at the gym while wearing that first-run Geezus shirt that we sold, like, 20 of. Felt like a real loser. So, I get it. I feel
Chase’s Rick’s pain. This celeb life ain’t easy no one, that’s for damn sure.
pic via Jason Wolf of Delaware Online
With first, last, and security, the get in now price is just $52,500
Back in October of 2013, Chase Utley decided that his Penthouse at The Ayer was just not his jam anymore, and put it on the market for $4.3 million (with $4,000+ in monthly condo fees). No one wanted to buy it, so now you can rent it and Chase Utley can be your landlord for only $17,500/month. It’s the bargain of the year. The condo, like Utley himself, is described as “dramatic yet comfortable,” and features “hours of sunlit warmth.” There is no word on if that warmth goes away once Chase leaves.
In addition, the place is fitted with “superb lighting, audio and Crestron systems,” and the rest of the description of the place has got me feeling some kind of way:
An expanded Bulthaup kitchen with a large island, Miele and Sub-Zero, including a full-size wine storage unit, opens to the main living space with a step-up formal dining room with terrace just beyond. An exquisite table, lit by a smoky quartz chandelier, was made to fit the room and is included. A study, made private with pocket doors, is on the other side of the kitchen. Reached by a custom-crafted stairwell with walnut treads and walls finished in Blue de Savoie marble, the lower level is designed for entertaining and relaxation. The media or second living room is served by a specially designed, “smoked oak” wet bar with Sub-Zero wine chiller, refrigerator and freezer drawers, Fisher-Paykel drawer dishwasher, ample storage and stainless counter and backsplash.
Is it hot in here or is it just that super-sexy condo description? Living there also gets your 24-hour doorman and concierge services, who will get really tired of hearing you tell them that Chase Utley is your landlord and that it’s really no big deal.
Ummmmm, I’m going to need a minute.
I don’t even care that he called out Charlie, who did it four days ago. This is hot.
via Utley’s Facebook
On Tuesday’s edition of the (now) Opie & Jim Norton Show, comedian Jim Breuer had some things to say about Chase Utley (starting at the jump spot above), using the tone of voice usually employed by pre-teen boys just figuring out what all of these dirty thoughts mean:
“I was taking a look at these guys, and Utley is … he’s … I love Utley. He’s like this skinny … he’s got little chicken legs [Ed. Note: He's not wrong], but his upper back … his shoulders … chiseled top, back, shoulders.
Seriously, because the Phillies, that’s a team I wish my team was. I love the Phillies.”
So, let’s look at that last bit one more time, where Jim Breuer said, and I will quote again, “Seriously, because the Phillies, that’s a team I wish my team was. I love the Phillies.” Shall we take a look at who Jim Breuer’s team actually is? From his bio on his own website: “Breuer currently resides in New Jersey where he enjoys spending time with his family, playing pick-up games of baseball, softball and wiffle ball and watching the NY Mets.”
That is just what we needed today. Chase Utley’s chiseled back converted a Mets fan. Probably not the first time.
Roy loves Chase and you love Roy for loving Chase. Your best Tweets, after the jump.
THIS IS A REAL HOME RUN!
From Doc, who may seriously be very drunk right now [compiled from a series of Tweets, with mild edits for readability]:
I struggle writing this due to the privacy of a man of integrity and the definition of a baseball player. In the video room in the stadium you will find a row of heart and hustle trophies with Chase’s name. Not because somebody chose to display them but rather a junk drawer of sorts for a man who although appreciates the honor and plays the game for all the right reasons! Not to be seen or heard or for attention. No look at me see how or any of the me-first mentality taking over all parts of baseball, sports, etc. One of my greatest honors was putting my heart and hustle trophy alongside the definition of the award. There must be one on every team. I’ve seen two in my life: Scott Rolen, and most of all, Chase Utley! The award has lost meaning. It’s normally given to the guy having the best year. But if you could somehow measure that in a man, Chase is run away from the pack! What’s really sad is some are busy patting themselves on the back and missing what a true baseball player is! I kid you not when he talked to me on the field I got goosebumps every time! Please encourage your friends, family, most of all your kids to be like chase! #26&chooch!
I have no words. Only tears.
UPDATE: As reader John points out, it’s entirely possible Roy Halladay misread the Chase Headley trade, which would make this all the more adorable:
UPDATE 2: It was in response to Chase winning his fifth Phillies Heart and Hustle Award.
The image above might be a little confusing. That’s not actually a map of the top baby names in each state (if it was, so many of them would say “Mason”). What it does show is which names are disproportionately popular in those states against the national numbers. What that tells us is the Southeast loves William more than the country does on average, flyover states shouldn’t be allowed to name their kids, and Pennsylvanians love naming their sons Chase.
In 2013, 401 of the nation’s 5,504 babies named Chase were born in Pennsylvania (go to PA on the drop down menu to the left). That number, however, has been on a steady decline. In fact, if you look at the name’s PA popularity numbers, you might notice something:
2012 – 454
2011 – 520
2010 – 581
2009 – 668
2008 – 574
Chase peaked in Pennsylvania in 2009, the year when babies conceived during the 2008 World Series run would have been born. The women of Pennsylvania were closing their eyes and picturing Chase Utley, and the men were doing the same. But if this just random? Let’s look at “Cole.”
While Chase was the overall 30th most popular name for a boy baby in PA in 2013, Cole was way down at 70th. But what do the years tell us? Here are the number of Cole babies in those same years:
2013 – 218
2012 – 241
2011 – 228
2010 – 301
2009 – 407
2008 – 374
World Fucking Champions, right?
h/t reader Daniel
Photo Credit: Daniel Shirey-USA TODAY Sports
Man this is how Samuel Kim must’ve felt: In a pre-Mid-Summer Classic media session, Chase Utley was asked about the chance of being traded. What Utley responded with was just about the best thing the Phillies could give fans this year– sincerity:
“I love playing baseball in Citizens Bank Park. I love playing in front of the Philly fans. There’s no better place to play in my opinion. Obviously winning is important and I would like to do that in Philadelphia …
I haven’t ever envisioned leaving Philadelphia, honestly. I feel like I’m wanted in Philly. I feel like the fans appreciate the way I play. I feel like the front office appreciates the way I play and I appreciate their support over the years. I don’t plan on going anywhere, but again, if someone comes up to me and says, ‘You’re no longer wanted in Philly,’ then I’ll have to change my tune … I’ve talked to guys who have played for the Phillies and gone on to other organizations and the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.”
The sentiments expressed by Utley aren’t entirely dissimilar to those expressed by Jimmy Rollins, but I’ve always felt that Rollins has been closer to the door over the years than Utley ever has. And based on what Utley says here – basically that he’ll stick around until the fans, or GM, push him out – it looks like he’s staying away from the door until he calls it a career. And when that time comes, the Phils can warm him up a spot in the broadcasting booth, front office or dugout. Because he’s never envisioned leaving Philadelphia.