Eyyyyyyyyyy its ya boi DJACC comin at cha wit dat small fry herr meh !!
Instagram model – the first profession to make me feel old – Elizabeth Ruiz (@elizabethruizxo), who is apparently shopping Von Miller’s sex tape, was on some radio show I never heard of and spilled the beans that former and future Eagle DeSean Jaccson has the penis of a far-eastern man who just got out of the pool:
“I mean I can tell you who has a small one…Would I be legally charged? Because I’m tired of cases, man…
DeSean Jackson. Man he’s built like an Asian.”
I was in the pool! I was in the pool!
It’s unclear the extent of D-Jacc’s encounter with Ruiz. Her ‘gram is filled with pictures of super tight leotards and close-ups of massive ass cheeks that I suspect wouldn’t look out of place in Jaccpot’s feed. But we don’t know where, when, or how they came together, nor do we know if a pool was involved. Built for speed, baby.