The Daily News sent fun-hating, race-baiting gasbag Marcus Hayes to Phoenix to cover Media Day and, presumably, the Super Bowl. And Hayes, who not surprisingly had nothing better to write about today, wrote an entire column about how awful the antics at media day are… thus justifying the existence of said antics.
Let’s delve into Mr. Hayes’ nonsense:
Marshawn Lynch literally grabbed his crotch to express contempt for the assembled throng of 200 media members as he made his way to his podium at the start of Media Day.
For the next 5 minutes or so, Lynch figuratively grabbed his crotch to express contempt for the NFL and its commissioner, Roger Goodell.
I get it– Lynch’s press conference was like the verbal equivalent of his actions. That’s deep, yo.
Lynch, who timed himself on his smartphone, saw the 5-minute mark pass, arose and said, “Time.”
He left the Skittles bag on the stage and bolted.
With more than 57 minutes left in Media Day, Beast Mode entered Airplane Mode and ended all transmissions.
Was that… an iPhone joke?*
*Topical today, by the way, as Apple announced yesterday that they sold 77 million iPhones last quarter and had the most profitable quarter – over $18 BILLION with a B in profit – IN THE HISTORY OF BUSINESS! Today is a good day to own Apple stock. PARTY OVER HERE, BABBBBBBY!!! WOOT, WOOT!! I should’ve held up a crumpled sticky note in my hand and yelled at my computer screen in euphoric fashion as the markets opened, just to get the full visceral and aural experience of riding a HOT ONE to a (as I write this) more than seven-point gain! But please, tell me more about how much better your giant Samsung Galaxy is.
Back to Marcus:
Media Day at the Super Bowl, an hourlong availability of essentially everyone of merit in both organizations held every Tuesday of Super Bowl week, seldom elicits any real information about players or their teams; but then, most interviews with NFL types elicit little information. Top players and the head coach are available 3 or 4 days during Super Bowl week, but the intent of Media Day is to afford access to all players, coaches and executives to all members of the press on one day, in one place.
The NFL has credentialed entertainment reporters and fostered a circus atmosphere, a circus the NFL now charges fans $28.50 to witness.
Meme: Reporter sent across the country to cover admittedly meaningless day of press conferences complains that meaningless day of press conferences is meaningless. How do I make that into an image? Perhaps a GIF?
The availability has devolved to include guys who wear barrels over their bare torsos; Olympic skaters Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski asking fashion questions for NBC; and beautiful women in short skirts who salsa dance with Kam Chancellor.
OK, we can keep that last one.
No surprise. We’ve known for a while now that Hayes is an ass man. But I thought for a second that he was going to make a borderline homophobic remark about (the outstanding) Johnny Weir and his bae Tara Lipinski. Phew.
Spritely divas Lipinski and Weir, former Olympic skaters working the fashion angle for NBC, showed up in fabulous outfits. He had on a scarlet jacket over a silk shirt with a gemstone necklace, crammed his feet into 4-inch wedge booties and wore more makeup than she did.
There it is. Continue reading20 Comments