Archives For marcus hayes

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Yes, I know. This is hard to believe. ‘Tis true, though. Marcus Hayes wrote yet another odd-staccatoed screed today, this one in defense of DeSean Jackson. It is… probably the most predictable Philly sports column of the year.

Here, let’s just break it down:

YOU THOUGHT Joe Banner was harsh?

Chip Kelly makes Banner look like Mother Teresa.

The Eagles sent a clear message when they cut DeSean Jackson yesterday:

No matter how well you play, no matter how professionally you act, if we believe you are overpaid we will get rid of you.

Marcus comes out of the gate roaring with a vintage trifecta of one-sentence paragraphs, unfair assessments and wild speculation. It is truly impressive how quickly he cast Chip Kelly (and not the problem child wide receiver who throws up gang signs) as the villain and then pivoted to speculate that the Eagles’ decision was based solely or largely on money, which is an absurd conclusion when you consider the fact that they have plenty of cap space and that this move makes the team worse.

And we will do anything to protect our image in doing so.

Yes, they may cut a troublesome wide receiver to protect themselves from a potentially dangerous situation.

Just hours after a story published yesterday on that tenuously connected Jackson to the Crips gang in his hometown of Los Angeles, the Eagles saw a chance to minimize the public outrage.

So, they released the best receiver on the 2013 team and the most explosive player in team history.

Those tenuous connections include multiple associations with murder suspects, an endless stream of photos with alleged gang members, gang signs, and this photo of DeSean with his friend and purported gangster, Shakir, who was wearing an LA County Jail shirt and a Jaccpot chain upon his release from prison:

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[Shakir was acquitted of murder, but his co-defendent was sentenced to 15 years to life. A reason to celebrate, this was.]

It should be noted that a more plausible reason for cutting DeSean immediately following the story’s release was the fact that the story essentially rendered him untradable. The Eagles’ secret was out.

So what if releasing Jackson now casts him as a thug?

So what if it eliminates his chances to earn what he’s worth . . . maybe forever? He is 27, has played six seasons and looks fit enough to play six more.

Except now he’ll be the Gangbanger, forever tainted.

Two very plausible reasons for why the Eagles aren’t talking: 1) Shredding DeSean to the press would only hurt him more. 2) They know more than we do. But no. Let’s just go with Marcus’ opinion that the Eagles are the bad guys for doing what they felt was best for their organization. It’s their fault that DeSean will be cast a “gangbanger,” not, say, DeSean’s fault for using gang signs on the football field and taking pictures with murder suspects.

The Eagles could not care less.

Yeah, I’m sure they’re just thrilled with this story. There are no winners here.

They could have held on to him for a couple of weeks. They could have stood by him, could have denied any half-truths or mistruths that were published.

Instead, they cast the entire screed as gospel truth.

Actually, they didn’t. They cut him. The story just forced their hand. And yes, they could have denied any half-truths… or, maybe, just maybe what was in the report is only the tip of the iceberg. Not saying that’s the case, but it’s a very realistic possibility, one which Marcus won’t dare consider.

This isn’t family. It is never family. This is dirty, dirty business.

The rest of the team better understand that.

This team shed Brian Dawkins, Hugh Douglas and Jeremiah Trotter, but in those Banner days, it was at least honest and honorable about the moves.

Yes, it is a business. I’m guessing that most NFL players know that. Pretty sure DeSean, a business man himself from the no-Crips-killed-here-Jaccpot-double-C, knows that.

And somehow releasing DeSean and saying absolutely nothing bad about him was dishonorable. Right.

This time, they ruined a young man who has spent much of his life avoiding ruin.

I’m still trying to figure out what the Eagles did to ruin DeSean and his reputation. Surely DeSean’s Instagram, bad attitude, poor sportsmanship, gang associations and off-the-field distractions had nothing to do with the ruining of a young man’s reputation.

The Birds will save a boatload of cash by jettisoning D-Jax, and that’s all that matters to them.

Highly doubtful. Recklessly doubtful, actually.

They also will lose the NFL’s most dangerous receiver, one who froze safeties in their boots, one who gave defensive coordinators sweaty nightmares in team hotels.

False. Calvin Johnson would like a word.

Jackson’s presence opened up huge holes for teammates to run into and through. His presence meant an extra beat for the team’s quarterbacks – a beat that young Nick Foles needed quite a bit.

Very true. Which is why there was likely much more to this story than money. DeSean made the Eagles better. They cut him for other reasons. He was a net negative to them. Continue Reading…

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 8.47.19 AMI’ve kind of been just staring at this article in befuddled amazement. It’s so blatantly obvious to anyone on Earth watching that Nick Foles is a significantly better quarterback than Michael Vick. Sure, you can’t argue that Vick is a better athlete and, in short bursts, can look like one of the best to ever play the game. But he’s woefully inconsistent, a constant injury risk, and a turnover machine who makes way too many mistakes for a veteran quarterback. And, you know, all Foles has done since Vick went out with an injury is become the best quarterback in the NFL.

The Eagles were 1-3 through the first four games of the season – Vick’s full games – and are 6-2 since. Yet, in making his case that the Eagles, despite their success of late, still miss both Vick and Jeremy Maclin (no argument on the latter), Marcus Hayes writes these words, in this particular order:

Still, this question is intriguing: As potent as the offense has been, where might the Eagles be with Vick and Maclin?

Maybe inside the playoff picture, looking in, instead of just outside.

Maybe 8-4 or 9-3 instead of 7-5.

Maybe 4-1 in the division instead of 3-2; their home loss to the Giants was abysmal.

Vick, behind a sporadic offensive line, carried the offense in the first two games.

Foles, behind a much better assemblage, has pushed the attack ahead.

You know, I wouldn’t be so quick to call Marcus Hayes “a racist” if he didn’t always hate the white guy. Foles and Riley Cooper (whose likeness I imagine is emblazoned on a dartboard somewhere in Hayes’ home) have formed a very good tandem and, as Hayes points out, Cooper is on pace to have a season as good as any of Maclin’s. Sure, having more depth at wide receiver certainly wouldn’t hurt the Eagles, and perhaps they would have an extra win or two with a healthy Maclin, but to couch that argument around Vick, when Foles is beating the world and eating its babies, is completely laughable.

Hayes justifies his silliness by saying that the Eagles finally have a healthy (and effective) offensive line, which gives Foles time in the pocket. What if Vick were afforded the same opportunity?, Marcus asks. But that’s crazy. Throughout his career, Vick has been prone to dumb mistakes. He’s just… not a great quarterback. Fun, athletic, talented– yes. Not a great quarterback. We don’t need a larger sample size. We got it already. He’s inconsistent and not really that good.

But of course Marcus Hayes would argue that the Eagles would be in a better place with him. Of course he would.

Meanwhile, Hayes’ Daily News colleague, Les Bowen, told us more about Foles in three paragraphs yesterday than we’ve learned in two years:

“He likes technology,” said practice-squad QB G.J. Kinne, who lived with Foles for a few months when Kinne first came to the Eagles. “Computers, gadgets, phones, he’s got the new watch that hooks up to your phone . . . In the offseason, he likes to bike and hike and do a lot of nature stuff.”

There is a long-term girlfriend, Tori Moore, a former Arizona volleyball player who works for Nike in Oregon (yes, Chip Kelly irony noted). She is the sister of former Browns tight end Evan Moore, who was briefly an Eagle last season.

Nick’s dad, Larry, the self-made multimillionaire, Austin, Texas, restaurateur, accidentally revealed a few details about her last week and then asked a reporter not to print them, fearing Nick would object. Nick Foles said yesterday she will be moving here.

This would be his girlfriend, who… kind of looks like him?



H/T to reader Andy and (@Banditmax)

Screen Shot 2013-09-23 at 10.05.41 AMOne of the functions of CB is to serve as a community watchdog, to be a great protector of your sport and social media lives. So, consider this a PSA– a cautionary tale to make sure you have at least eight digits, one capital and lowercase letter, and a number in your Twitter password… because you don’t want to be Marcus Hayes and find one day that your account favorited a dozen or so hardcore porn links.

Last week, reader Tim alerted us to the publicly-available favorites of Hayes’ Twitter account. They included Tweets from Rate My Lesbian, Cheg It Out, Erotic Art, All Amateur, Blowjob Babe, Cumshots Galore and others.

Here, have a gander [may be NSFW]:
Continue Reading…

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 8.47.19 AMIn what had to be one of the most ill-conceived segments imaginable, huge asshole Marcus Hayes finally weighed in on the Riley Cooper matter by way of a HOT SPORTS TAKE on Philly Sports Talk last night.

In one corner was known blowhard Hayes, there to give what was obviously going to be the anti-white guyRiley take. In the other, Eagles pitchman Dave Spadaro, who, in his pastel shirt and gold tie looked like one of those (awesome) multiple-color crayons from when you were little, there to give the SUN IS SHINING AND THERE ARE ROSES IN THE GRASS WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO TELL YOU HOW GREAT THINGS ARE take.

What could go wrong?!

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Why you would put walking press release Spadaro on TV to act as an impartial observer on anything Eagles, let alone a race controversy, is beyond me. But pitting him against Hayes, who hates everybody, is doubly worse, or, depending on your perspective, an awesome train wreck of TV that you couldn’t look away from!

Poor Amy Fadool was forced to moderate this unfortunate panel, serving as the voice of reason between two agenda-spewing cartoons.

Let’s sample the discourse:

Spadaro: “I’m ready for football. Two players who clearly got mixed up in a practice session and tempers flared. I’ve seen it 1,000 times over the years.”

Nothing to see here! Saddam is still alive and in control!

Spadaro: “It is two players going at it in practice. If there was situations that didn’t exist previously, what Riley’s gone through and what Cary’s been like since we’ve gotten to know him, it wouldn’t be a big deal at all.”

But, those situations do exist. And what “Riley’s gone through” was his own doing. And Cary Williams has been a dickhead. Continue, please.

Hayes: “If you look at what happened [in the fight], Riley Cooper was the aggressor after the play was over and Cary Williams probably took exception to… a pretty physical play for having shoulder pads and shorts.”

“Cary Williams probably reacted to Riley Cooper. Riley Cooper went after Cary Williams. He popped up and he probably didn’t like being defended that hard. Riley Cooper also has to understand, he has no leash. That’s over, that’s gone for him. He’s going to be targeted.”

Not so fast, Marc. Cooper did engage Williams… who then proceeded to throw punches into Cooper’s helmet. Cooper walked away and Williams kept chasing him, yelling, “I’m not a nigger you fuck with.”

Williams was in the wrong in this situation. A minor disturbance turned into a major kerfuffle because Williams has a fuse shorter than an Acme bomb.

But just keep blaming the white guy.

Hayes: “He’s is a marked man. And he has to do it cleaner and sharper than everybody else. And he’s gonna go after probably the least wise guy to go after on the team? He’s got to be more mature than that, he’s got to be smarter than that. He has no leash, but he doesn’t operate like it, you know? He operates as if nothing ever happened. Well, something happened.”

Spadaro: “But understand, that Riley Cooper, the kind of football player he is, Marcus, he’s always been a physical player.”

Hayes: “He has to change.”

Spadaro: “Well, that’s not going to change.”

Hayes: “At practice he has to change.”

Spadaro: “Being a physical player is not going to change.”

Hayes: “At practice he has to change.”

Repeating himself an argumentation crutch for Hayes.

And how, in the fuck-wind, does he know how Cooper operates? We’ve heard exactly nothing from him since he returned to the team. There was about a four-second window yesterday when he reacted to his jackass teammate. Let’s just keep blowing hot air anyway.

Spadaro: “It’s a football play. I’m glad we’re taking about football.”

Hayes: “We’re not talking about football at all. Riley Cooper is no longer a football player, he’s a symbol for something that’s terrible, and the Eagles chose to keep him on the roster, so they have to deal with it every iteration all year long.”

- checks Eagles roster – Nope, still a football player…

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 9.20.49 AM … though Kurt Coleman’s designation as such is up for debate.

Fadool: “Marcus, has this team moved on from that?”

Hayes: ”There are players on this team who clearly haven’t moved on from that. I believe Cary Williams to be one of them. I believe LeSean McCoy to be one of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if DeSean Jackson was one of them, mainly because those were the three guys who, after the incident was publicized, those were three guys who said it’s going to be a hard thing to get past. There is a level of professionalism that everyone has to assume, but there’s also a level of humanity that can’t be ignored. I mean, you’re talking about young men who believe themselves, I think, largely correctly, to be victims of a society that puts obstacles in front of them that aren’t in front of Riley Cooper.”

Spadaro: “Number one, Marcus, to kind of throw some names out there of players that you might not think are on board or have gotten past the situation, I’m not going to tell you that’s super responsible. You’re just throwing names out there.”

Crayola is right. And again, Hayes is used to just throwing names out there.

Hayes: “We’re talking about the people who we got tape from and players who said, at the beginning, as I said, at the beginning, would have trouble moving on from this. They may or may not. The question was…”

Spadaro: “The question was: “Has the team moved on?”

Hayes: “No, the question was: ”Might there be players who haven’t moved on?” The answer was: “Yes, there might be.” And these are some of them.”

I’ll ask the court reporter to please re-read Mrs. Fadool’s question.

Marcus, has this team moved on from that?

And the response?

There are players on this team who clearly haven’t moved on from that.”

Thank you.

After that, Hayes just rolled his eyes and sighed, as he’s been known to do.

Video after the jump. Continue Reading…

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Yes, we all are so hard on Puig because he’s black but no one is ever critical of Harper’s douchey ways. No, never

To be fair, Hayes finally had something nice to say about Chase Utley yesterday– his response to Mac. Of course, it was wrapped in a backhanded compliment about how this was the coolest thing Utley has ever done, as if all the things Utley had done before were neither cool nor funny.

Screen Shot 2013-08-22 at 7.30.57 PMMarcus Hayes was an asshole even by Marcus Hayes standards when he went on 950 KJR in Seattle to defend his comments accusing Ken Griffey Jr. of using steroids (hosts bolded):

“You can call [Griffey's drop-off] coincidence if you like. But I think that’d be a little naive, don’t you?”

I wouldn’t call it either. I’d call it old age and playing on astroturf.

“No. You would either call it coincidence or you’d call it not coincidence.”

Well Marcus, what are you calling it?

“I don’t think it’s coincidental, no.”

You’re saying, indirectly, that he was using PEDs?

“No. I’m saying it’s a possibility and the pattern follows, doesn’t it?”

Well no… you’re saying from 1997-1999…

“Answer my question. Answer my question. Does it fit the pattern? Does the pattern of Griffey’s performance drop-off follow what we know to be the consequences of using PEDs and stopping using PEDs?”


“OK, then you’re wrong about that.”

Marcus. Marcus. If we’re going to have you on…

“No, no, no, no no. You don’t get to talk over me. You asked me to come on your show.”


“You asked me to come on your show. You’re not going to ambush me on your show. Understand that?”

I’m not ambusing you. I’m just asking you…

“Do you understand that? Do you understand that? Do you get that? Do you get it?”


“Do you get it?”

They weren’t ambushing him. They were trying to have a reasonable conversation about the wild accusation Hayes was spewing on their airwaves.

Hayes hung up on them.

[Related: Hayes accuses Ken Griffey Jr. of using steroids.]

Audio after the jump. Continue Reading…

I’m sorry. I just can’t get over how this guy has a column with a major(-ish) newspaper.

Marcus Hayes awoke from his 12-hour Twitter slumber today and began responding to some blowback from his strange hollering into the August air.

NBC’s Hardball Talk picked up a portion of that story, noting that Hayes is the first mainstream writer to accuse Ken Griffey Jr. of using steroids (and maybe he did, maybe he didn’t– the point is Marcus has absolutely no evidence besides Griffey’s - gasp! – declining numbers when he got older). Hayes was then a guest on 950 KJR in Seattle today and, apparently, was completely blindsided by the host. Some real Sandra Bullock shit:

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Guess that didn’t go well.

But yeah, the host just apologized to his listeners for Marcus Hayes’ existence. And yes, I am trying to get that audio.

In addition, Hayes is not backing down from his strange argument that Gold Gloves and batting average are the best metrics by which to judge players. Here’s his extraordinarily flawed logic on why the Gold Glove – an award chosen by managers and coaches and one that was once once given to Bobby Abreu – is so much better than SABR stats:

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No. I can assure you, Marcus, that the panel of “”"”"experts”"”"” who came up with the UZR metric to measure defensive efficiency are not the interns who cobble together the SportsCenter Top 10 highlights. Do you realize how silly you sound?

Now, I’m as skeptical of advanced defensive metrics as the next guy. But. But someone should tell Marcus that a panel of “experts” (which, in that context, is actually just a community of smart people with calculators who came up with a standardized system of measurement) also decides the coveted, and sponsored(!), Rawlings Gold Glove Award. Marcus didn’t have a comeback for that one:

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You can side with the progressive (SABR) viewpoint or the old guy yelling at nerds viewpoint– it doesn’t matter. The point is that a longtime and somewhat well-known (gah) sports columnist not only recklessly accused Ken Griffey Jr. of taking steroids, and not only said it was a “white and black” issue why people like Chase Utley more than Jimmy Rolllins, but he can also be argued into a corner and tricked into danger by the most basic, you-should-be-able-to-see-that-coming logic in the world. It’s like playing chess with Roomba– His movements may be unpredictable, but he has no idea where he’s going next! Look out, dog!

Meanwhile, responding to charges that he irrationally dislikes Utley because Utley is white, Hayes, who is both white and black (his words), offered the following in a Twitter conversation… just as soon as he figured out how to work that damn thing:

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I can read. These were Hayes’ words in a chat on October 26, 2010:

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Did I read that right?

Screen Shot 2013-08-22 at 10.53.45 AMMarcus Hayes, who doesn’t know how to use Twitter, started shouting into the wind about Ichiro last night. Hayes’ colleague at the Daily News, Ryan Lawrence, took the bait. What followed was a knock-down, drag-out, two-hour Twitter brawl in which Hayes accused Ken Griffey Jr. of using steroids, acknowledged that Chase Utley could’ve too, and argued that Jimmy Rollins is better than Utley.

Lawrence schooled Hayes, whose Utley-hating, racist tendencies reared their ugly head, again. Hayes also displayed his hatred for stats and logic.

Do step over the jump with me. To the Storify machine!

In some cases Tweets are out of order since there were several streams of (barely-)consciousness going on.

Continue Reading…