Tag: marcus hayes (page 1 of 2)

Marcus Hayes Lists His Mostly Moronic Reasons Why You Should Doubt Nick Foles

I'm dumb

I’m dumb

Reading a Marcus Hayes article is like riding a poorly-constructed scrambler at a cheap carnival– the whole thing is punctuated by short, jarring bursts that fling you in opposite directions. Here’s Hayes, who once apparently favorited a whole bunch of porn Tweets (he’s an ass-man), on why we should doubt Foles:

For one thing, he has never entered an NFL season as a starter.

That means he has never had the entire league spend the entire offseason preparing to target his weaknesses. He has never had a legion of defensive players poring over his habits and tendencies. He will have to adjust.

Somewhat meaningless. But fair.

Also, the team has changed.

Go on…

Discounting his performance with an injury-addled offense in 2012, Foles has never played a game without incendiary receiver DeSean Jackson softening defenses. He also has never played a game without veteran leader and tough slot receiver Jason Avant, whom the Eagles replaced with rookie Jordan Matthews – whom they really know nothing about.

This may be the first time I’ve ever seen anyone write about Jason Avant with a sort of reverence. This despite the early reports on Matthews being extremely bullish.

More important, perhaps, Foles has never played a game without likely Hall of Fame left tackle Jason Peters protecting his blind side.

Another first: Hayes somehow uses the presence of a great offensive lineman as a negative against the quarterback who plays behind him. This despite Hayes’ earlier insistence that teammates should be considered when judging Foles. Odd. [UPDATE: I missed this at first, but Foles took 453 snaps in 2012, all of which were without Jason Peters, who sat out the year after multiple Achilles injuries, protecting his blind side.]

Least important, he has never played a game without first-round right tackle Lane Johnson, who will miss the first four games serving a PED suspension.

The success of QBs everywhere rests on the shoulders on Lane Johnson’s first four weeks.

OK, the ride’s about to pick up here. Hang on: Continue reading

25 Comments

Marcus Hayes Would Like to Remind You That Claude Giroux Hadn’t Scored at MSG Since Before the Libyan Revolution

Does my fat head make me look fat?

Does my fat head make me look fat?

I am in no way defending Claude Giroux, because his play this series has left a lot to be desired. I credit the Rangers for much of that – their defense is superb – but still, great players find a way, and Giroux hasn’t found a way. There’s a fine line between passionate play and reckless play. Giroux is at his best when he’s playing impassioned… he’s at his worst when he’s reckless. His free-swinging one-timers are born from confidence when he’s going good… they look ill-advised when he’s struggling. 

But whatever your thoughts on G and his play against the Rangers, I think we can all agree that this is just about the worst hockey column imaginable. Mr. Marcus Hayes:

Claude Giroux got off his first shot on goal at Madison Square Garden in four games.

He scored his first goal at MSG in more than 3 years, and his first goal of the playoffs.

Clearly, the Flyers’ captain must have played very well.

Certainly, he led his team to a playoff win.

Right?

Wrong.

The Flyers lost Game 5, 4-2.

Somehow, despite logging a game-high six shots and finally scoring a goal that Osama bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi and Kim Jong-il weren’t alive to see, Giroux seemed to be even less a factor than in the first two games at MSG.

WHAT?

If you got whiplash from craning your neck at that terrorist-evil dictator line, you’re not alone. I think Marcus was referring to the fact that G hasn’t scored in New York in three years. But… yikes. And where’s the love for Paul Walker and Whitney Houston? They would’ve liked to have seen G light the lamp!

Plus the hackiness is strong with this one. Hayes uses his one-sentence paragraph shtick (which I sometimes like to refer to as laziness) to hammer on Giroux’s struggles in the most melodramatic way possible. Look at this:

Later in the first, Brian Boyle thumped him into the side boards and Derick Brassard tried to trip him. After that, Giroux seemed to disappear.

He lost his speed. He became anonymous.

He declined to shoot twice, once in front, once from the left.

He nearly whiffed on a shot midway through the second period, the Flyers up a skater during a delayed penalty call.

He nearly whiffed trying to check Girardi on the resulting power play.

By then, the extra attention from the Rangers had essentially evaporated.

By then, with a little maneuvering, he was allowed time and space.

“You need to be able to adjust and create your own room out there,” he said.

Even so . . .

In the end, he scored.

This reads like a poorly written fable. I’m just surprised that Hayes didn’t give the face-off circle a voice in this prose. The Ginger beast beset my paint, for it was he who was relegated to the off-angle one-timer.

You talk about trying to create a narrative. I suppose “the Rangers play really stingy defense and Giroux, who is not as big and fast as other stars, struggles to create his own shot” isn’t as interesting.

In other news, Sam Carchidi would like to remind you that Game 6 is a must-win:

24 Comments

Marcus Hayes Ripped Sam Hinkie for No Apparent Reason Today

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 8.47.19 AM

You may be surprised to learn that Marcus Hayes, known for injecting race into discussions that shouldn’t involve race, wrote a column today ripping the very white Sam Hinkie, whose efforts thus far have been almost universally applauded by pundits, for being a nerdy wizard, while calling Thaddeus Young, who made $8.6 million to play basketball this season, a hero.

To the excerpt machine!

Oddly, inexcusably, one voice will be missing: the voice of the producer of this lovable mess:

Sam Hinkie, the invisible general manager.

So far, he has generally managed to remain silent.

He destroyed every semblance of the Sixers’ core, implemented an evaluation process at least partly based on analytics, the use of which apparently requires an advanced degree in mathematics, a pocket protector and a Merlin hat.

Then – poof! – Hinkie disappeared.

At midday yesterday, Hinkie had yet to complete his meetings with the players, so his absence from the season-ending handshake party was excusable.

That he is not at Harris’ side today?

Inexcusable.

Certainly, Harris will endorse the job done so far by Hinkie, his handpicked Wonderboy, despite these facts:

* The Sixers began the season with four viable NBA starters but finished with just two, one of whom could ask for his walking papers in the next few weeks.

* They tied the NBA record for consecutive losses.

* And they got zero minutes of playing time from their No. 1 post player for the second year in a row.

Uh, Sam?

Never mind.

Um, what? What exactly does Marcus expect Hinkie to say– “Yes, everything is going exactly according to plan and we were successful in our quest to field the worst basketball team we possible could without getting fined by the league for throwing games”?

It’s fairly obvious to anyone paying even the slightest bit of attention that the Sixers having only two viable starters and tying the NBA record for consecutive losses was very much by design in an effort to get multiple high draft picks in a draft stocked with talent. Marcus knows this. He has to know this. But he wrote the column anyway, criticizing the guy who, in an admittedly small sample size, has done all the things people wanted and expected him to do. 

If Marcus would’ve just stopped there, this wouldn’t be worth discussing. But nope. He continued. Let’s rip Sam Hinkie for a job well-done, wax poetic about Thaddeus Young, and then throw in what borders on a dangerous landowner-slave reference just for fun:

Wisdom was sought, then, from those less-equipped to dispense it.

Young completed a heroic season uninjured but not undaunted. Selfless, hungry and nearing his peak, Young yesterday dropped the facade he has worn since the Sixers traded away three starters. He said he would insist on knowing the particulars of the Sixers’ plan going forward, and, if he didn’t like it, or if he was not told, he would ask to be traded.

Young, as good a soldier who ever served in this town, has earned this sort of impudence. Hinkie sold off the farm but kept Young to pull the plow, to keep the rows straight, to lead the herd. Young did all of that.

Does Young deserve a preemptive extension?

Only Hinkie can say, and Hinkie’s not saying anything about anything.

WHAT AM I READING?

To Marcus’ credit, he went on to write very nice things about Brett Brown. But he then returned to bashing Hinkie and compared him to Joe Banner:

Hinkie certainly is smart, organized, and prepared; but then, so was Joe Banner.

Over a 20-year span in Philadelphia, Banner revolutionized the football business market; established a template for an era of NFL transactions; and led the Eagles franchise to its most glorious era.

Nevertheless, Banner’s lack of appeal and his inability to suffer fools made him a pariah. At the first chance, Banner was run out of town on a rail.

Perhaps the Sixers are simply protecting their Wonderboy. Hinkie cannot put his foot in his mouth if he keeps his mouth shut.

The team is diminished for that.

So is Hinkie; at least, he is this week, when only one significant voice will be missing.

The only one that matters.

This is a really bad column.

H/T to (@mikejlenz)

25 Comments

You’re Not Going to Believe This, But Marcus Hayes Strongly Criticized the Eagles for Releasing DeSean Jackson

Screen Shot 2013-08-22 at 7.30.57 PM

Yes, I know. This is hard to believe. ‘Tis true, though. Marcus Hayes wrote yet another odd-staccatoed screed today, this one in defense of DeSean Jackson. It is… probably the most predictable Philly sports column of the year.

Here, let’s just break it down:

YOU THOUGHT Joe Banner was harsh?

Chip Kelly makes Banner look like Mother Teresa.

The Eagles sent a clear message when they cut DeSean Jackson yesterday:

No matter how well you play, no matter how professionally you act, if we believe you are overpaid we will get rid of you.

Marcus comes out of the gate roaring with a vintage trifecta of one-sentence paragraphs, unfair assessments and wild speculation. It is truly impressive how quickly he cast Chip Kelly (and not the problem child wide receiver who throws up gang signs) as the villain and then pivoted to speculate that the Eagles’ decision was based solely or largely on money, which is an absurd conclusion when you consider the fact that they have plenty of cap space and that this move makes the team worse.

And we will do anything to protect our image in doing so.

Yes, they may cut a troublesome wide receiver to protect themselves from a potentially dangerous situation.

Just hours after a story published yesterday on nj.com that tenuously connected Jackson to the Crips gang in his hometown of Los Angeles, the Eagles saw a chance to minimize the public outrage.

So, they released the best receiver on the 2013 team and the most explosive player in team history.

Those tenuous connections include multiple associations with murder suspects, an endless stream of photos with alleged gang members, gang signs, and this photo of DeSean with his friend and purported gangster, Shakir, who was wearing an LA County Jail shirt and a Jaccpot chain upon his release from prison:

Voila_Capture 2014-03-29_10-07-02_AM

[Shakir was acquitted of murder, but his co-defendent was sentenced to 15 years to life. A reason to celebrate, this was.]

It should be noted that a more plausible reason for cutting DeSean immediately following the story’s release was the fact that the story essentially rendered him untradable. The Eagles’ secret was out.

So what if releasing Jackson now casts him as a thug?

So what if it eliminates his chances to earn what he’s worth . . . maybe forever? He is 27, has played six seasons and looks fit enough to play six more.

Except now he’ll be the Gangbanger, forever tainted.

Two very plausible reasons for why the Eagles aren’t talking: 1) Shredding DeSean to the press would only hurt him more. 2) They know more than we do. But no. Let’s just go with Marcus’ opinion that the Eagles are the bad guys for doing what they felt was best for their organization. It’s their fault that DeSean will be cast a “gangbanger,” not, say, DeSean’s fault for using gang signs on the football field and taking pictures with murder suspects.

The Eagles could not care less.

Yeah, I’m sure they’re just thrilled with this story. There are no winners here.

They could have held on to him for a couple of weeks. They could have stood by him, could have denied any half-truths or mistruths that were published.

Instead, they cast the entire screed as gospel truth.

Actually, they didn’t. They cut him. The story just forced their hand. And yes, they could have denied any half-truths… or, maybe, just maybe what was in the NJ.com report is only the tip of the iceberg. Not saying that’s the case, but it’s a very realistic possibility, one which Marcus won’t dare consider.

This isn’t family. It is never family. This is dirty, dirty business.

The rest of the team better understand that.

This team shed Brian Dawkins, Hugh Douglas and Jeremiah Trotter, but in those Banner days, it was at least honest and honorable about the moves.

Yes, it is a business. I’m guessing that most NFL players know that. Pretty sure DeSean, a business man himself from the no-Crips-killed-here-Jaccpot-double-C, knows that.

And somehow releasing DeSean and saying absolutely nothing bad about him was dishonorable. Right.

This time, they ruined a young man who has spent much of his life avoiding ruin.

I’m still trying to figure out what the Eagles did to ruin DeSean and his reputation. Surely DeSean’s Instagram, bad attitude, poor sportsmanship, gang associations and off-the-field distractions had nothing to do with the ruining of a young man’s reputation.

The Birds will save a boatload of cash by jettisoning D-Jax, and that’s all that matters to them.

Highly doubtful. Recklessly doubtful, actually.

They also will lose the NFL’s most dangerous receiver, one who froze safeties in their boots, one who gave defensive coordinators sweaty nightmares in team hotels.

False. Calvin Johnson would like a word.

Jackson’s presence opened up huge holes for teammates to run into and through. His presence meant an extra beat for the team’s quarterbacks – a beat that young Nick Foles needed quite a bit.

Very true. Which is why there was likely much more to this story than money. DeSean made the Eagles better. They cut him for other reasons. He was a net negative to them. Continue reading

32 Comments

I Know This Will Be Hard to Believe, But Marcus Hayes Thinks the Eagles Might Be Even Better with a Healthy Michael Vick

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 8.47.19 AMI’ve kind of been just staring at this article in befuddled amazement. It’s so blatantly obvious to anyone on Earth watching that Nick Foles is a significantly better quarterback than Michael Vick. Sure, you can’t argue that Vick is a better athlete and, in short bursts, can look like one of the best to ever play the game. But he’s woefully inconsistent, a constant injury risk, and a turnover machine who makes way too many mistakes for a veteran quarterback. And, you know, all Foles has done since Vick went out with an injury is become the best quarterback in the NFL.

The Eagles were 1-3 through the first four games of the season – Vick’s full games – and are 6-2 since. Yet, in making his case that the Eagles, despite their success of late, still miss both Vick and Jeremy Maclin (no argument on the latter), Marcus Hayes writes these words, in this particular order:

Still, this question is intriguing: As potent as the offense has been, where might the Eagles be with Vick and Maclin?

Maybe inside the playoff picture, looking in, instead of just outside.

Maybe 8-4 or 9-3 instead of 7-5.

Maybe 4-1 in the division instead of 3-2; their home loss to the Giants was abysmal.

Vick, behind a sporadic offensive line, carried the offense in the first two games.

Foles, behind a much better assemblage, has pushed the attack ahead.

You know, I wouldn’t be so quick to call Marcus Hayes “a racist” if he didn’t always hate the white guy. Foles and Riley Cooper (whose likeness I imagine is emblazoned on a dartboard somewhere in Hayes’ home) have formed a very good tandem and, as Hayes points out, Cooper is on pace to have a season as good as any of Maclin’s. Sure, having more depth at wide receiver certainly wouldn’t hurt the Eagles, and perhaps they would have an extra win or two with a healthy Maclin, but to couch that argument around Vick, when Foles is beating the world and eating its babies, is completely laughable.

Hayes justifies his silliness by saying that the Eagles finally have a healthy (and effective) offensive line, which gives Foles time in the pocket. What if Vick were afforded the same opportunity?, Marcus asks. But that’s crazy. Throughout his career, Vick has been prone to dumb mistakes. He’s just… not a great quarterback. Fun, athletic, talented– yes. Not a great quarterback. We don’t need a larger sample size. We got it already. He’s inconsistent and not really that good.

But of course Marcus Hayes would argue that the Eagles would be in a better place with him. Of course he would.

Meanwhile, Hayes’ Daily News colleague, Les Bowen, told us more about Foles in three paragraphs yesterday than we’ve learned in two years:

“He likes technology,” said practice-squad QB G.J. Kinne, who lived with Foles for a few months when Kinne first came to the Eagles. “Computers, gadgets, phones, he’s got the new watch that hooks up to your phone . . . In the offseason, he likes to bike and hike and do a lot of nature stuff.”

There is a long-term girlfriend, Tori Moore, a former Arizona volleyball player who works for Nike in Oregon (yes, Chip Kelly irony noted). She is the sister of former Browns tight end Evan Moore, who was briefly an Eagle last season.

Nick’s dad, Larry, the self-made multimillionaire, Austin, Texas, restaurateur, accidentally revealed a few details about her last week and then asked a reporter not to print them, fearing Nick would object. Nick Foles said yesterday she will be moving here.

This would be his girlfriend, who… kind of looks like him?

Voila_Capture757

 

H/T to reader Andy and (@Banditmax)

36 Comments

Marcus Hayes Didn’t Favorite These Porn Tweets

Screen Shot 2013-09-23 at 10.05.41 AMOne of the functions of CB is to serve as a community watchdog, to be a great protector of your sport and social media lives. So, consider this a PSA– a cautionary tale to make sure you have at least eight digits, one capital and lowercase letter, and a number in your Twitter password… because you don’t want to be Marcus Hayes and find one day that your account favorited a dozen or so hardcore porn links.

Last week, reader Tim alerted us to the publicly-available favorites of Hayes’ Twitter account. They included Tweets from Rate My Lesbian, Cheg It Out, Erotic Art, All Amateur, Blowjob Babe, Cumshots Galore and others.

Here, have a gander [may be NSFW]:
Continue reading

25 Comments

Yep, Marcus Hayes was a Huge Asshole on Philly Sports Talk Last Night

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 8.47.19 AMIn what had to be one of the most ill-conceived segments imaginable, huge asshole Marcus Hayes finally weighed in on the Riley Cooper matter by way of a HOT SPORTS TAKE on Philly Sports Talk last night.

In one corner was known blowhard Hayes, there to give what was obviously going to be the anti-white guyRiley take. In the other, Eagles pitchman Dave Spadaro, who, in his pastel shirt and gold tie looked like one of those (awesome) multiple-color crayons from when you were little, there to give the SUN IS SHINING AND THERE ARE ROSES IN THE GRASS WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO TELL YOU HOW GREAT THINGS ARE take.

What could go wrong?!

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 8.46.52 AM

Why you would put walking press release Spadaro on TV to act as an impartial observer on anything Eagles, let alone a race controversy, is beyond me. But pitting him against Hayes, who hates everybody, is doubly worse, or, depending on your perspective, an awesome train wreck of TV that you couldn’t look away from!

Poor Amy Fadool was forced to moderate this unfortunate panel, serving as the voice of reason between two agenda-spewing cartoons.

Let’s sample the discourse:

Spadaro: “I’m ready for football. Two players who clearly got mixed up in a practice session and tempers flared. I’ve seen it 1,000 times over the years.”

Nothing to see here! Saddam is still alive and in control!

Spadaro: “It is two players going at it in practice. If there was situations that didn’t exist previously, what Riley’s gone through and what Cary’s been like since we’ve gotten to know him, it wouldn’t be a big deal at all.”

But, those situations do exist. And what “Riley’s gone through” was his own doing. And Cary Williams has been a dickhead. Continue, please.

Hayes: “If you look at what happened [in the fight], Riley Cooper was the aggressor after the play was over and Cary Williams probably took exception to… a pretty physical play for having shoulder pads and shorts.”

“Cary Williams probably reacted to Riley Cooper. Riley Cooper went after Cary Williams. He popped up and he probably didn’t like being defended that hard. Riley Cooper also has to understand, he has no leash. That’s over, that’s gone for him. He’s going to be targeted.”

Not so fast, Marc. Cooper did engage Williams… who then proceeded to throw punches into Cooper’s helmet. Cooper walked away and Williams kept chasing him, yelling, “I’m not a nigger you fuck with.”

Williams was in the wrong in this situation. A minor disturbance turned into a major kerfuffle because Williams has a fuse shorter than an Acme bomb.

But just keep blaming the white guy.

Hayes: “He’s is a marked man. And he has to do it cleaner and sharper than everybody else. And he’s gonna go after probably the least wise guy to go after on the team? He’s got to be more mature than that, he’s got to be smarter than that. He has no leash, but he doesn’t operate like it, you know? He operates as if nothing ever happened. Well, something happened.”

Spadaro: “But understand, that Riley Cooper, the kind of football player he is, Marcus, he’s always been a physical player.”

Hayes: “He has to change.”

Spadaro: “Well, that’s not going to change.”

Hayes: “At practice he has to change.”

Spadaro: “Being a physical player is not going to change.”

Hayes: “At practice he has to change.”

Repeating himself an argumentation crutch for Hayes.

And how, in the fuck-wind, does he know how Cooper operates? We’ve heard exactly nothing from him since he returned to the team. There was about a four-second window yesterday when he reacted to his jackass teammate. Let’s just keep blowing hot air anyway.

Spadaro: “It’s a football play. I’m glad we’re taking about football.”

Hayes: “We’re not talking about football at all. Riley Cooper is no longer a football player, he’s a symbol for something that’s terrible, and the Eagles chose to keep him on the roster, so they have to deal with it every iteration all year long.”

– checks Eagles roster – Nope, still a football player…

Screen Shot 2013-09-06 at 9.20.49 AM … though Kurt Coleman’s designation as such is up for debate.

Fadool: “Marcus, has this team moved on from that?”

Hayes: “There are players on this team who clearly haven’t moved on from that. I believe Cary Williams to be one of them. I believe LeSean McCoy to be one of them. I wouldn’t be surprised if DeSean Jackson was one of them, mainly because those were the three guys who, after the incident was publicized, those were three guys who said it’s going to be a hard thing to get past. There is a level of professionalism that everyone has to assume, but there’s also a level of humanity that can’t be ignored. I mean, you’re talking about young men who believe themselves, I think, largely correctly, to be victims of a society that puts obstacles in front of them that aren’t in front of Riley Cooper.”

Spadaro: “Number one, Marcus, to kind of throw some names out there of players that you might not think are on board or have gotten past the situation, I’m not going to tell you that’s super responsible. You’re just throwing names out there.”

Crayola is right. And again, Hayes is used to just throwing names out there.

Hayes: “We’re talking about the people who we got tape from and players who said, at the beginning, as I said, at the beginning, would have trouble moving on from this. They may or may not. The question was…”

Spadaro: “The question was: “Has the team moved on?”

Hayes: “No, the question was: “Might there be players who haven’t moved on?” The answer was: “Yes, there might be.” And these are some of them.”

I’ll ask the court reporter to please re-read Mrs. Fadool’s question.

Marcus, has this team moved on from that?

And the response?

There are players on this team who clearly haven’t moved on from that.”

Thank you.

After that, Hayes just rolled his eyes and sighed, as he’s been known to do.

Video after the jump. Continue reading

36 Comments

Marcus Hayes Broached the Subject of Race, Again

Screen Shot 2013-09-04 at 9.28.32 AM Screen Shot 2013-09-04 at 9.34.28 AM

Yes, we all are so hard on Puig because he’s black but no one is ever critical of Harper’s douchey ways. No, never

To be fair, Hayes finally had something nice to say about Chase Utley yesterday– his response to Mac. Of course, it was wrapped in a backhanded compliment about how this was the coolest thing Utley has ever done, as if all the things Utley had done before were neither cool nor funny.

24 Comments
Older posts

© 2014 Crossing Broad

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑