Stern: Dude that’s the ultimate move. You get chicks to pay you?
Dykstra: Well, not chicks though dude we’re talking about grandma, you’re talking about a f*cking grey bush, bro.
Stern: No shit? Have you seen these broads naked? Will you f*ck them?
Dykstra: Can’t f*ck them, their bones are brittle.
Stern: I see. You got women paying you for companionship? Dude… How many women you got?
Dykstra: There are three, but one of them’s killin me, because she aways wants to f*cking stick her tongue down my throat.
Stern: And you’re not into it?
Dykstra: She’s like f*cking 80 dude, or something.
Stern: You’re a male gigolo.
Dykstra: I’m not gonna do that no more.
Stern: Yes you are. Lenny, you’re a male gigolo.
Dykstra: I kinda… I lived a lotta lives.
Stern: So these chicks take you around with them and introduce you to everyone in the room.
Dykstra: No it’s just about companionship.
Stern: Do you just go to their houses and you don’t go out?
Dykstra: Yeah well they wanna go to dinner sometimes.
Stern: Do they wanna introduce you to their friends and shit?
Dykstra: No, no, no.
Stern: What’s the oldest woman you ever f*cked?
Stern: Like, would you ever f*ck an 80 year old? If you had to?
Dykstra: I mean, it’s my duty, you know? But it’s not like a get in there and f*cking pound me, you know? It’s more of a gentle…
Stern: Are you afraid they’ll die when they’re in bed with you?
Dykstra: Well their bones are brittle.
I downloaded the book and skimmed the relevant parts. The part about the 93 Phils’ run was mundane bullshit, plainly recapping the playoff run with digs at Mitch Williams thrown in. But thankfully(?), 1993 was the year Lenny hit his stride with steroids and painkillers. Here’s how Dykstra – or the sane individual who transcribed his musings to readable prose – described it: Continue Reading