Tag: phillies (page 1 of 377)

Kane Kalas is Leading the World Poker Tour Borgata Poker Open

Photo credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

We told you a few years ago about Kane Kalas’ career as a professional poker player living in Costa Rica (one of my all-time favorite posts). It’s, quite honestly, exactly the sort of awesome existence we’d expect Harry’s son to have. Like father like son, Kane is in Atlantic City this week(end) competing in the World Poker Tour Borgata Poker Open… and he’s doing well. From Poker News:

The World Poker Tour Borgata Poker Open began with 1,226 entrants, and after an intense week of play, just six players remain in contention for the title and $843,744 first-place prize. On Thursday, 31 players returned for Day 4 action with the hopes of making the televised final table. After eight levels of play, 25 players had hit the rail and Kane Kalas emerged as the chip leader with 14.025 million.

Gaspard, who began the day as a big chip leader, fell in Level 32 (80,000/160,000/20,000) on Hand #171 of the unofficial final table when Kalas opened for 365,000 under the gun and Gaspard shoved for 1.255 million. Elias called from the cutoff, Kalas came along, and then the two active players checked the {10-Hearts}{7-Hearts}{6-Diamonds} flop. When the {J-Diamonds} appeared on the turn, Kalas bet 915,000, Elias called, and both players returned to checking. Kalas tabled the {q-Hearts}{q-Spades}, Elias mucked, and Gaspard showed the {a-Spades}{10-Diamonds} for a losing pair of tens.

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Kalas returns this afternoon at 4 p.m. to play for the title. Knock it ouuuuuuuuutttttaaaa here, Kane.

H/T to (@danpodheiser)


Dom Brown’s Ex Called Him out for Being a No Good Cheater on Facebook

It's been great . Time to move forward. Thanks for everything #love

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Yesterday, a Twitter account that some thought belonged to ESPN writer Jerry Crasnick reported that Dom Brown had been traded to the Indians. Some people believed it, but Crasnick cleared it up:

That didn’t stop Dom Brown from trying to be a little smart about it on Instagram, posting that image and caption above, just as the rumors were spreading. When people in the comments got on him about being traded, Brown responded in a (now deleted) comment that it was in reference to a break up with his girl. Ah, we get it. Like you’re moving on from her, not the team. Good, solid troll Dom. Or at least it would be, if your ex-girlfriend (and mother of your child) didn’t see any of it and feel the need to respond. That ex, Stephanie Gayle, decided to start a more private instagram for the future, but she’s still got a public one, which features this gem as the most recent image:

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Damn. But at least that’s the end of it, right? Nope:

via reader Dan

via reader Dan

That answers this question. Well, Dom, much like every season you’ve played here, that didn’t go as planned, did it?

Related: CB reader recounts her experience with Dom:

A dedicated CB reader and known jersey chaser contacted me and said: “There was no mention of [his pregnant girlfriend] three weeks ago when myself and my friend went to his apartment after hours to hang out.”

And the paternity leave feels a lot less special now.

h/t reader Dan


The Phillies Took Their Annual Rookie Hazing Photo, the Nationals Celebrated Their Division Title

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I call this post dichotomy.

It’s that time of year again, when the Phillies haze their rookies by dressing them in ridiculous outfits. Poor Darin Ruf, whom I feel like has been with the big club forever, is still eligible for the annual embarrassment. Jimmy Rollins posted this photo on Instagram, and as you might imagine, a few folks were quick to point out that the Phillies are, well, terrible:

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Meanwhile, the Nationals are wearing ridiculous costumes, as well:

Photo credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

- sad, possibly upset emoticon -


Joe West Suspended for One Game for Putting His Hands on Papelbon after Papelbon Put His Hands on Papelbon

After a crotch grab and a few ump bumps brought a seven game suspension down on Jonathan Papelbon, many wondered if “Cowboy” Joe West — an officiating thorn in the Phillies’ side for years — would face any kind of discipline for laying his hands on Papelbon. The answer to that is yes, and the suspension is a whopping one-gamer.

The MLB announced that West would sit out a single ballgame for his contact with Pap. Joe Torre, the MLB’s executive vice president for baseball operations, said in a statement:

“Joe West handled himself appropriately in ejecting Papelbon after the player’s lewd gesture to the fans. I fully understand that Joe was reacting to a player who was acting aggressively, and can understand his frustration with the situation. However, Joe knows that an umpire cannot initiate physical contact with a player, just as a player cannot initiate physical contact with an umpire. I spoke to Joe about the incident, and he admitted that there was a better way to handle the situation. I consider this matter closed.”

So for future reference, all baseball players should know that a hefty ump bump will sit you down for a week, while an ump grabbing you by the jersey and shoving you aside will sideline him for a single day. As Kyle said before, Papelbon has this special way of making you side with him because he picks fights with “jackasses of equal or greater value.” West falls under the “greater” category, and while one game seems a little weak, I’m surprised he’s getting anything at all.


A.J. Burnett Says He Feels like Horseshit Which Sounds about Right

Photo Credit: Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

In the loss column there are eight teams across the Major Leagues worse off than the Phillies, but no pitcher can claim that role over A.J. Burnett. Burnett’s 17 losses top (or rather, bottom) the Majors, and A.J. isn’t happy about it. He’s getting older. He’s in pain. He needs offseason surgery. So, let’s see how he’s doing:

Burnett has thrown 202 2/3 innings this season, his most since 2009. How does he feel now?

“Horse[bleep],” Burnett said.

You know what, A.J.? I’d feel like horsebleep too. Burnett’s 4.40 ERA also puts him in the bottom ten in the National League, and so do his ERA+ and WHIP. Arguably, Eric Stults of the Padres is having a much worse season (he’s lower than Burnett in all of those stats but has one less loss), but that should be of little comfort to Burnett, who may have to look back on his 17-loss season as the last of his career.


Jonathan Papelbon Gets a Seven-Game Suspension for Grabbing His Dick like a Dickhead

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Eh. I just really wanted to write that headline.

The Phillies released a statement, via (@APgelston):

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Apology accepted. Now, about the last three years.


Video: Jonathan Papelbon Blows Save, Gets Booed off Mound, Grabs Crotch, Gets Ejected

Voila_Capture 2014-09-14_07-24-38_PM

Noted dickbag Jonathan Paplebon blew a 4-1 lead in the ninth and allowed the eventual winning run to score on a wild pitch. Though Papelbon has been outstanding this season, he was booed off the mound for the effort, at which point he grabbed his crotch in the general direction of the crowd and the numerous kids sitting in the first few rows, and then was kicked out of the game by Joe West before charging out of the dugout, bumping West, and being shoved aside by the fat-assed umpire. How’s that for a run-on sentence? Continue reading


Here’s the Glorious, Hi-res Photo of Jonathan Papelbon Grabbing His Dick

Jonathan Papelbon

Photo source: AP

[Click to enlarge]

This image was so good I had to buy it from the AP. Memes encouraged. Story and video here.

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