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Your Mid-Week Roundup

Jim Adair - August 6, 2014

On top of a bunch of what is going on this week, there’s some smaller stories worth pointing out. Here they are in your mid-week roundup:

Sam Hinkie May Get Anthony Bennett, but he Really Wants All of Your Picks

In news that we won’t know for sure until Andrew Wiggins’ 30-day post-signing period is over, it looks like Sam Hinkie may get Anthony Bennett, even though he’d just prefer to have all of the first round picks.

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Joel Embiid is Hilarious, K.J. McDaniels is the Best Defender, and Other NBA Rookie Opinions

In the NBA’s annual rookie survey, conducted at the annual rookie photo shoot, the incoming class decided that Joel Embiid is the funniest amongst them. Embiid also garnered a few votes in the best defender category (tied for fifth with 8.1% of the vote) and who will have the best career. K.J. McDaniels was named the rookie group’s best defender with 13.5% of the vote (tied with Marcus Smart) while also getting votes for most overlooked. Nerlens Noel, the oft-forgotten late-rookie, got some votes for Rookie of the Year candidate, and 2nd-rounder Jerami Grant got some votes for funniest rookie and best playmaker. So at least we know if Hinkie’s grand experiment fails miserably, at least there are some comedians on the team.

Katy Perry Ran up the Art Museum Steps Wearing a Pizza-Themed Onesie

Why? Because sometimes the world is a strange and terrifying place.

Tony Luke is Taking Questions on Foodspin About his Food Show

He’s already answered questions about the difference between his goatee and Guy Fieri’s, so you need a new question now.

FIFA 15 Also Looks Completely Insane, Finally has all BPL Stadiums

Lest football and hockey get all the attention around here, FIFA 15 also released a whole bunch of new info, including the fact that they’ll have all 20 Premier League stadiums for the very first time. The new game will also include over 200 additional player face scans — it makes me feel like an old man, since when I looked at the side-by-side it actually took a second to see which was real and which was digital — and Sepp Blatter’s favorite toy, the goal line decision system. FIFA and NHL have always been pretty great, but it looks like EA (and for the NBA, 2k Sports) are really bringing the big guns out for the newest generation of systems.

Amazon’s Same Day Delivery Rolled Out in Philly Today

And speaking of those new systems: If all of this Madden and FIFA talk pushed you over the edge into “Okay, I’m totally getting the PS4/XBOX One,” you can order them on Amazon (along with a ton of other stuff) and now get it the same day you ordered it. Just not right now because it’s already too late in the day. Or something. Basically the “Get It Today” checkbox is greyed over in the sidebar for everything right now, but oh man if it was like 7am and I ordered a PS4, I might have it by now, all without ever having to put pants on. This is the future we fought for.

That Time the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Greedy British Kids Caused big Environmental Problems in the UK

As we get ready to see Michael Bay unleash his stinking pile of turtle shit upon the moviegoing public, the Daily Beast looked back at how the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films caused a big mess in the UK:

This particular tale begins in 1990. Back then, the Ninja Turtles were one of the biggest franchises in the Western Hemisphere, having spawned comic books, a billion-dollar toy line, and a beloved TV show, along with a soon-to-be-released feature film and multiple corporate sponsorships. Like any massively successful property, the Turtles eventually began influencing its audience in unsuspecting ways. This was no more so in England, where parents found themselves purchasing pet turtles—or in this case, red-eared terrapins, one of the most popular breeds in the world—at the behest of their TMNT-loving children …

Baby terrapins are adorably compact and require seemingly little upkeep, making them the perfect companion for someone looking to further enhance their Ninja Turtles fandom. But, like most impulse buys, many of the adults purchasing them as pets were naively unaware of the size these terrapins would grow into (upwards of 30 centimeters long), nor the amount of maintenance they would eventually require (they often get too big for their original tanks, and also need proper filters and oxygenated plants). Soon enough, children began to lose interest in these once-coveted pets, leaving the responsibility to the parents, many of whom decided that caring for the terrapins would be too much effort. Ultimately, they began releasing the animals into local waterways. Bad idea.

“People just took the terrapins out there thinking they would be OK,” Pauline Kidner, founder of Secret World, a charity that specializes in the rescue, rehabilitation, and release of Britain’s orphaned wildlife, tells The Daily Beast. However, as Kidner states, releasing the animals ended up having the complete opposite effect on the environment. Over the next decade, the RETs wreaked havoc on the ecosystem, eating ducklings, small water birds, and other amphibians. Adds Kidner, “They’re quite a voracious animal as far as the diet. They can eat so many things that they are detrimental to the actual balance to the nature and waterways once they get introduced to them.”

It took years and efforts from the British Chelonia Group and Belgium’s Reptiles et Amphibians de la Nature to undo some of the damage done by releasing the pets into the wild, but I expect Bay’s destruction will be just as widespread.

And in Case you Missed it This Morning: Get Your Kelly Drive Shirt Now

Kelly Drive t-shirt

The Eagles may not be going back to our favorite shade of green full-time, but you can.