Tag: ryan howard (page 1 of 4)

Here’s Your Reminder That Ryan Howard’s House is Still Being Built and is Still Massive

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Photos via @mattstankowski

Photos via @mattstankowski

Reader Matt was spending some time down in Florida when he realized he was staying about a block away from Ryan Howard’s perpetually under-construction, so-big-it’s-silly, moat mansion. We’ve seen the GIFs before, and some other pictures, but these are probably the best shots of what the money from Howard’s 115 strikeouts in 2014 is going towards.

Really though, we cannot get over the size of this thing. There’s like a dozen pillars. A. Dozen. Pillars. This is the house of a drug cartel or a movie villain or a cartoon billionaire, not an overpaid athlete. Which number do you think is higher: The number of rooms in this house or the number of Howard’s career triples (20). My guess is the former.

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Ryan Howard Refuses to Deny That He Listens to Nickelback

Photo Credit: Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Photo Credit: Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Maybe he and Giroux could talk about it: Last night at Turner Field during the Phils v. Braves game, according to Hardball Talk, a fan held up a sign that said “Ryan Howard listens to Nickelback.” That’s rough stuff. Ryan, you gotta stand your ground on this one and come out saying “Hey, I had ‘Stanky Leg‘ (and DJ Khaled and Drake and Tyga) as my walkout song once, don’t come at me with that Nickelback shit.” But instead, Howard told Todd Zolecki this:

“Is it bad to listen to Nickelback? I mean, I’m not afraid to say that I diversify my musical portfolio. I didn’t know they could see or hear what … how do they know I listen to Nickelback? I listen to everything. I don’t know if there’s a specific song by Nickelback.”

While we appreciate Howard standing up for everyone’s right to listen to whatever the hell they want, Howard definitely protests too much when it comes to “I don’t know if there’s a specific song by Nickelback.” You know Ryan, you know.

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And Ryan Howard is Already Super Defensive About Your Skepticism

Photo credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Photo credit: Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Speaking to the media today, Ryan Howard, via Ryan Lawrence, Philly.com

“In all actuality we’ve actually played very well this year. I disagree with everybody else. Our record doesn’t necessarily reflect that right now, but, you know, we’ve played well. We had three real bad games. So the only thing to do is go out there and try to win again.”

… and via Pat Gallen (@PatGallen_975):

“It’s 8 games. You guys are trying to start a panic attack. If you wanna panic go ahead and panic, but don’t bring it around here.”

Absurd, on several fronts: 1) Does Ryan Howard realize that the media isn’t panicking, they’re just doing their job, which isn’t to be a cheerleader? Not saying that they can’t be a little ridiculous sometimes (…), but Howard, a veteran, knows this. Right?

2) Howard has to understand that this isn’t a minor blip on the radar. The Phillies have been bad for two full seasons, they won nine spring training games, and they’ve started the regular season 3-5.

3) “… we’ve played really well this year… we had three real bad games.” They’ve played eight. Three were really bad. That’s not good.

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Insanely White Kid Confuses Dwight Howard and Ryan Howard on WWTBAM?

Reader Matt just sent this to me from Cedric The Entertainer’s first day of hosting Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?, which begs the question: WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT SHOW? There’s 400 different confusing lifelines and no linear progression, and now CTE is hosting? THE HELL, man?! Where’s Meredith? Why can’t they bring Regis back for throwback week? WHY IS THERE NOTHING ELSE TO BLOG ABOUT TODAY?

Anyway, this kid got his Howards, and his sports, mixed up.

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Today in Really Strange Craigslist Requests

Screen Shot 2013-07-16 at 5.17.20 PMNo, a Swiss hooker isn’t seeking a sugar daddy. Rather, one person is requesting a 5-10-minute video compilation of Ryan Howard striking out – and only striking out – for which he, or she, is willing to pay $35:

Seeking a Ryan Howard strike out compilation video, somewhere around 5-10 minutes long of nothing but Ryan Howard striking out (swinging and looking). This is for personal entertainment value, only. Would like the compilation to be overlayed with audio by any nu metal band, preferably POD or Drowning Pool, but I will ultimately leave that up to you. There should be no shortage of material for any part of this project.

That seems like a foolish request since one could just purchase the 2009 World Series DVD for a cool $14.24 and find what they’re looking for there.

H/T to reader Chris

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Ryan Howard Needs Knee Surgery, Out 6-8 Weeks

Sadly, it might be time to break out the Rascal again.

Ryan Howard has a torn meniscus in his left knee and will need surgery. He’ll be out 6-8 weeks.

The Phillies’ are dying a slow and horrible death.

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Charlie Manuel, Still Dancin’ With Who Brung ‘Im

I’m not one to unjustly criticize Charlie Manuel for sticking by his guys - Ryno, Chasey, Cole, J-Roll™, Brad Lidge… - because after all, his guys turned his career as a journeyman MLB man and hitting guru into greatest Phillies manager ever(!). He should keep dancing with them, because they brung him. But at a point, one has to wonder if Charlie is just totally blinded by, ah, whatever it is that blinds Ryan Howard from picking up a breaking ball.

Here’s an exchange between Manuel and reporters, who suggested that maybe – just maybe! – the guy leading the National League in home runs could bat cleanup, as detailed by Matt Gelb of The Inquirer, which is free to read this week without a subscription, promo code or secret handshake:

Manuel was testy before the game. His rant commenced when asked whether it was time to consider dropping Ryan Howard from the cleanup spot. Howard has hit one homer in his last 111 plate appearances. He is on pace for 17 home runs and 76 RBIs. He went 0 for 3 Wednesday.

“What the [expletive] are you getting at?” Manuel said. “Who’s going to hit there? Let me ask you a question. Let me turn that around some. Write what you want to write.”

It was suggested that Domonic Brown could bat there.

“I could put anybody in there, OK?” Manuel said. “Really, if you think about it. I’ll do the managing. Whoever hits there, hits there.”

Well, he’s got a point. It is what it is. Whomever hits there does, I suppose, hit there. But what if who hits there doesn’t actually hit there? Mind, blown:

Screen Shot 2013-06-13 at 11.55.28 AM

So yes, Charlie, you do do the managing, and many managers who also do said managing may manage to figure out that the guy with the fourth highest slugging percentage in the league should, at the very least, be considered for the four hole. Because it’s probably something he could manage.

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Here’s a GIF of Ryan Howard’s Massive Florida House Being Built

Howard_houseWe’ve told you about Ryan Howard’s massive Gulf Coast housewhich features a moat! – that is currently (and perhaps perpetually) under construction. But here’s the best look we’ve gotten thus far, courtesy of this video from FOX 29′s Chris O’Connell. It kind of reminds me of that scene in Polar Express where the elves are working on Santa’s ridiculously large sack. Of toys, that is.

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