What I Have Learned in April, and it’s Not Pretty

BaseballGrass 

As April comes to an end, the first month of baseball season
is almost in the books and a lot has happened in the last month, here is what I have observed
and what you might have, and probably missed due to lack of interest.

The Pirates stink, and have a team ERA of 7.29, putting them
s­urprisingly in last. Not only does their ERA stink, they have a -77 run
differential and have only scored 78 runs so far this year, that's bad.

The Orioles stink too.

What do all of these guys have in common? Mike Pelfrey,
Livan Hernandez, Brad Penny, Ubaldo Jimenez, Jaime Garcia.  No they aren’t the oddest fantasy starting
rotation of all time, and they aren’t making a “Hey Dude” reunion… maybe a
stretch, but there was a Brad on that show, anyway they are your top 5
pitchers ERA wise in the NL.

When Cliff Lee comes back, he will share a spot in Seattle’s
rotation with Doug Fister. <insert Beavis and Butthead laugh here>

Even though the Mets are on a winning streak, we all know they
still stink.

The Braves however may stink more, last 6 games… 10 runs, 9
errors… Way to go out on top Bobby Cox. <insert 2nd Beavis and
Butthead laugh>

Andruw Jones, while making close to 15 million with the
Dodgers in 2008, hit 3 HRs… That’s 5 million per home run. This year for the
White Sox he is making 500K and has 6 Hrs, that’s less that 100K per home run,
through only 16 games.

Ryan Madson looks as good in the closer role as I do
shirtless.

I do however, look great pant-less.

Everyone that picked the dodgers to win the west should
maybe have noticed they have no pitching.

Ryan Howard could have picked ANY other game this season to
get thrown out walking into 2nd base?

Roy Halladay is a good pitcher.

Chris Wheeler is an Idiot.

Scott Graham however is a genius; Graham Slam is the best
thing that has ever happened in an ice cream carton. I don’t care if he didn’t really
have anything to do with its creation; I love him and ONLY him for it.

Iron Man 1 was made for the low cost of 140 million dollars,
and grossed about 580 million. The Phillies had an attendance number of 3.7
million in 2009; let’s say an average ticket costs… who knows 27 dollars, if
the Phillies pay Howard until the end of 2017, using the above numbers they
will make 680 million dollars in that time frame in JUST ticket sales… not too
shabby.

On this day in 2013, most of you reading this will probably
hate Stephen Strasburg.

I still wish the Phillies never traded Gio
Gonzalez

The Phillies could actually be contending with the “Natinals”,
and Mets for the NL east.

Wes Helms batted third for the Marlins today.

Not 100% baseball related, but the Eagles signed Dale Murphy’s
son Shawn today, or yesterday, or sometime this month.

There you have it sports fans… What did you learn? What was I too stupid to see, or too dumb to remember?

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