Bearded Dasher and Lizard Tongues

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No, it's not a porn filmed in the Bayou, it's the only two things we can muster up the energy to talk about from last night's debacle in Montreal.

We live blogged the game, and our writers/readers could not take their eyes away from the creepy beard on the dasher boards of the Bell Center (CENTRE if you're a douche).  

We counted no less than 4 stubbled jaws on the boards.  [Canadiens fans noticed it last series] Apparently, it is an ad for Canadian cell service, Bell Canada.  One reader reported that it was part of a promotion to grow beards out for charity, but it's also obviously tied into the playoff beard concept.  Either way, we had some fun with it.  Writer Mike Zoltek even kept the beard's +/-, it was a +3.  The beard was also positioned next to a Viagra ad, which likely explained why it was smiling.  Zoltek theorized that there must be a non TV appropriate ad five feet below while some readers thought it was going to give them nightmares.

Well, here's some more developments to add to its creepiness. We didn't notice this last night, but according to a Canadiens forum, the beard grows from period to period.  That's right, this fucking thing  is alive.  These photos were taken during the Penguins series (does anyone have images from last night?), and I'll be damned, it grows after each intermission.  It must be Italian.

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You may call it brilliant marketing from Bell, and it is since we're talking about it, but we still think it's frightening.

Speaking of disturbia, Versus color analyst Daryl Reaugh (that's 3 consecutive vowels if you're keeping score at home) incited perhaps the worst visual of the night when he described a save by Leighton:

Just like a lizard tongue, steals one away


I'd rather not have my hockey plays classified as reptile parts, thank you very much.

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15 Responses

  1. It GROWS? Ugh. That’s just awful. Everything about that game was awful. At least Saturday’s game is on NBC- and I never thought I would say that.

  2. if I had to guess..i’d bet that it doesn’t grow period to period..but that they change it game to game..and as the Canadiens move on to the next round it gets bigger..like a playoff beard..no matter tho..it’ll be gone in a few days

  3. Reaugh and Bennanatti are terrible. He had another terrible call on the Leighton glove save from Game 2 that had everyone I was watching the game with cracking up: “Snatched like a ripened fruit.” Where are JJ and Clement?

  4. The beard’s +/- wasn’t a +4… it was a +3… (Power play goals don’t affect +/-… therefore there were 4 full strength goals scored by the Canadiens [making it +4] and then one full strength goal by the Flyers [lowering it to +3])
    The writers (and comment posters) on this site need to beef up a bit on their Hockey knowledge… Come on guys!
    Let’s go Flyers!

  5. Also @Kyle Scott
    Should also point out that I’m new to the blog (My GF actually turned me onto it, after the now infamous condom post), and I’m really diggin’ it. Keep up the good work!

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