Flyers

Bearded Dasher and Lizard Tongues

By Kyle Scott

Published: May 21st, 2010 · 10:50 AM EDT

---

No, it's not a porn filmed in the Bayou, it's the only two things we can muster up the energy to talk about from last night's debacle in Montreal.

We live blogged the game, and our writers/readers could not take their eyes away from the creepy beard on the dasher boards of the Bell Center (CENTRE if you're a douche).  

We counted no less than 4 stubbled jaws on the boards.  [Canadiens fans noticed it last series] Apparently, it is an ad for Canadian cell service, Bell Canada.  One reader reported that it was part of a promotion to grow beards out for charity, but it's also obviously tied into the playoff beard concept.  Either way, we had some fun with it.  Writer Mike Zoltek even kept the beard's +/-, it was a +3.  The beard was also positioned next to a Viagra ad, which likely explained why it was smiling.  Zoltek theorized that there must be a non TV appropriate ad five feet below while some readers thought it was going to give them nightmares.

Well, here's some more developments to add to its creepiness. We didn't notice this last night, but according to a Canadiens forum, the beard grows from period to period.  That's right, this fucking thing  is alive.  These photos were taken during the Penguins series (does anyone have images from last night?), and I'll be damned, it grows after each intermission.  It must be Italian.

You may call it brilliant marketing from Bell, and it is since we're talking about it, but we still think it's frightening.

Speaking of disturbia, Versus color analyst Daryl Reaugh (that's 3 consecutive vowels if you're keeping score at home) incited perhaps the worst visual of the night when he described a save by Leighton:

Just like a lizard tongue, steals one away

I'd rather not have my hockey plays classified as reptile parts, thank you very much.