If you want to kill yourself now, I don't blame you.

John Gonzalez from The Inquirer had this little gem today about that oh so annoying Blackhawks goal song.  While many of us know it as the Amstel Light theme song, it is actually a song by The Fratellis called "Chelsea Dagger."  

Earlier this year, a Blackhawks spokesman told the Chicago Sun-Times that the song was chosen because it was fun and had no hidden meaning:

"For the White Sox, I think 'Don't Stop Believin' ' was a little more themed," the Blackhawks official said at the time. "This is just kind of a feel-good song. There's no lyrics [in 'Chelsea Dagger'] that have any meaning."

But a little investigation by Gonzalez reveals that it is actually about a stripper (Oh no!  Keep Jeff Carter away!):

According several English sources, including the entertaining and (not-so) reputable publication the Daily Mail, the song that made the Fratellis "famous" is an ode to lead singer Jon Fratelli's wife, Heather, who was once an exotic entertainer. (That means stripper.)

Chelsea Chelsea, I believe that when you're dancing

Slowly sucking your sleeve

That all boys get lonely after you leave

And it's one for the Dagger and another for the one you believe.

Well, at least it's about scoring.  I'd say the Flyers should just go all out, and play "Pour Some Sugar on Me" every time they score.  Carter's Pavlovian instinct will kick in and he'll start throwing dollars bills on the ice.