And in the bathtub each evening, using a
technique cribbed from my sister's copy of The Sensuous Woman, I
closed my eyes and masturbated by positioning myself under the running
faucet, on my back with legs spread, thinking mainly about tall blond
pitcher Larry "L.C." Christenson, although I believe most of them
eventually got a turn.

You're probably wondering how we got to this point.  Let's rewind.

Remember that lady who wanted to trade sex for World Series tickets?  Well, she decided that her 15 minutes of fame wasn't long enough and that she needed to create a blog to creep us all out.

Susan Finkelstein has just begun posting on Rounding 3rd with Susan Finkelstein (I gotta admit, great name) about her interest in the Phillies, sex, and Walt Whitman.

Oh yeah, this blog has it all.

Finkelstein regales us with her tales of masturbation to thoughts of the 1980 Phillies.  Ok, slightly TMI, but ya know, they were the eventual World Series champs…  

Here's where it gets weird(er?)

Finkelstein imagined that she played for the Phillies as the first female Major League player, and that the attention drawn to her caused resentment among the other male ahtletes.  This resentment led to the kidnapping and punishment (read: rape) of McCrazy.  Of course, all of the Phils got a turn, but Larry Christenson was the real Joran Vander Sloot of the bunch, continually getting his way with Finkelstein.  

She goes on about her love of the Phils, sexual exploration, and even weaves in a Walt Whitman quote.

Oh yeah, this lady is a whole bucket of crazy.