Fan Drawings Single Handedly Set Race Relations Back 50 Years, Prove Kids Can’t Spell

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We did a little digging around MyPhl17's Fan Spotlight and came across these pictures from a young Phillies fan… and this kid was the winner.

We'll start with the drawing above, can someone please tell me why the fuck Gary Matthews looks like the original Aunt Jemima?

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And I'm not even going to touch on what Shane Victorino, who is now apparently a Mexican magician, shot all over Ryan Howard's face.  It's not pie folks.

Here's his depiction of the broadcast team:

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Don't drink from my water fountain, Mathues

That's not even fon-et-i-call-lee correct.  At least he got Wheeler's toupee in there.

Seriously, can we pay teachers a little bit more, please?

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2 Responses

  1. Oh come on, Kyle. I’m not going to hate on you like a Vinnie, but the drawings were made by a little kid. A KID!
    Did the site say how old he was? I’d guess he’s between 6 and 8. I bet that when you were his age you were a Rembrandt and could form words like a Shakespeare.
    Besides, I kind of like the artwork. The kid has a good grasp of the Surrealist movement. In fact I think it is in the same league as Picasso’s “Guernica”. Even by limiting the palette to black and whites, he even pays homage to that great painting by The Master.
    He also has an intuitive grasp of perspective. By making Victorino smaller and higher than Howard, the viewer knows he’s behind the slugger.
    Man, I’m glad you’re not the Head Curator of the Louvre. If you were, I’d bet all we would see is pictures of Elvis on black velvet and paintings of dogs around a poker table.

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