Greg Dobbs Wears Energy Bracelets, Proves Said Bracelets are a Scam


Dobbs is on the playoff roster, the magic must be in his wrists

If you needed any more proof that these so called "energy  bracelets" are bullshit, then look no further than this article  from Tuesday's San Francisco Chronicle.  Bloomberg News reports that sales of energy bracelets have tripled in the US since 2008.  This is attributed to their popularity among major sports stars like Lebron Jamees, David Beckham and Greg Dobbs.  No, that's not a typo, I did just use Greg Dobbs in the same sentence as Beckham and James.  The chronicle even goes as far as to quote Dobbs (I guess A-Rod was busy) which I will spare you from reading here.

Dobbs, who mustered up just 32 hits in 163 at bats this year giving him a robust .196 batting average, had by far his worst season as a Phillie since joining the club in '07. 

So, if you are an investor in Power Balance LLC, the most popular maker of energy bracelets, my suggestion would be to sell now.  Once this news about Dobbs using the product spreads, shares are bound to tank.  But you never know, I mean, maybe Greg just got a bad batch of bracelets?  You know like those really ineffective steroids David Bell was supposedly shooting up a few years back. 

Nah, never mind it's bullshit.


2 Responses

  1. He must be depleting all that energy from wanking-off or something. Dumb shit! Doesn’t he know that energy comes from the balls? Especially if they’re heavy metal balls!

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