That’s right, tonight’s pitching matchup will be between veteran stud Roy Oswalt and half-cocked, performance enhancing drug taking singer Bronson Arroyo. Can you feel the energy?!
Arroyo toils around small-time music festivals and New England haunts trying to recapture his Red Sox glory. This is directly from Wikipedia, so I’m not even being an asshole.
In 2005, Bronson Arroyo released his debut album, Covering the Bases. It included covers from bands such as Pearl Jam, Alice in Chains, Stone Temple Pilots, Foo Fighters and Incubus. The album also includes the Red Sox victory song Dirty Water by The Standells, in which Arroyo is accompanied by Johnny Damon, Lenny DiNardo, and Kevin Youkilis. He also taught Kevin Millar how to play guitar and performed vocals for the song “Tessie” as covered by the Dropkick Murphys.
He taught Kevin Millar how to play guitar. Millar. Guitar. Taught. A Renaissance man if there ever was one.
There’s that, and there’s the time he revealed that he used androstenedione and amphetamines during his career. Mmm hmm, he PED’d his way to a career 4.19 ERA.
Here he is performing “God Bless America” in a park. With flowing locks. And an anchor-looking chin growth. Good God, it’s like Scott Stapp and Barbra Stresiand got together and created a hippy, self important, sweet-haired, middle-of-the-rotation offspring.
Oh yeah, the forced salute at the 1:04 mark is to show he cares.
The rest of his nonsense is essentially 1996’s greatest hits. The highlight, however, is his version of Boston, performed at “The Paradise” in- wait for it- Boston, where he lets all of his former supporters know that he wants to leave Cincinnatti and come back (3:55 mark). Ladies and gentlemen, your Game Two starter.
Video of that, other shitty performances, a night with Theo Epstein and Peter Gammons from January, and his terrible, potty mouthed commercial after the jump.