The Latest on Bronson Arroyo’s Music Career

Bronson_arroyo
Well, there’s not much to report, other than he’s fucking terrible.  Truth.

That’s right, tonight’s pitching matchup will be between veteran stud Roy Oswalt and half-cocked, performance enhancing drug taking singer Bronson Arroyo.  Can you feel the energy?!

Arroyo toils around small-time music festivals and New England haunts trying to recapture his Red Sox glory.  This is directly from Wikipedia, so I’m not even being an asshole.

In 2005, Bronson Arroyo released his debut album, Covering the Bases. It included covers from bands such as Pearl JamAlice in ChainsStone Temple PilotsFoo Fighters and Incubus. The album also includes the Red Sox victory song Dirty Water by The Standells, in which Arroyo is accompanied by Johnny DamonLenny DiNardo, and Kevin Youkilis. He also taught Kevin Millar how to play guitar and performed vocals for the song “Tessie” as covered by the Dropkick Murphys.

 

He taught Kevin Millar how to play guitar.  Millar.  Guitar.  Taught.  A Renaissance man if there ever was one.

There’s that, and there’s the time he revealed that he used androstenedione and amphetamines during his career.  Mmm hmm, he PED’d his way to a career 4.19 ERA.

Here he is performing “God Bless America” in a park.  With flowing locks.  And an anchor-looking chin growth.  Good God, it’s like Scott Stapp and Barbra Stresiand got together and created a hippy, self important, sweet-haired, middle-of-the-rotation offspring. 

Oh yeah, the forced salute at the 1:04 mark is to show he cares.

The rest of his nonsense is essentially 1996’s greatest hits.  The highlight, however, is his version of Boston, performed at “The Paradise” in- wait for it- Boston, where he lets all of his former supporters know that he wants to leave Cincinnatti and come back (3:55 mark).  Ladies and gentlemen, your Game Two starter.

Video of that, other shitty performances, a night with Theo Epstein and Peter Gammons from January, and his terrible, potty mouthed commercial after the jump.




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18 Responses

  1. this is stupid. he’s actually a very talented musician. rip him for his pitching which is inferior to his music skills.

  2. @jallen.. a very talented musician? Are you serious? I honestly hope you are kidding and that you are just trying to trash the post since you are a Reds / Arroyo fan, which i’d understand. But he’s terrible. Just plain terrible I actually felt bad for the brother playing piano during God Bless America.. absolutely abysmal.

  3. I”d rather listen to a stranger shit in a restroom..one of those uncomfortably loud,potent shits that let you know the water temperature… wow this guy’s just that bad

  4. I can’t unhear any of that. But I had no idea he thought he was a musician. This will make watching him tonight much more entertaining. Lots of fun will be made of him in the ballpark. Now the game will be funner.

  5. nope im a die hard phillies fan. but ive seen arroyo perform and own his album. i’d like to see all of you try to sing and play guitar.

  6. If I were you I’d stop advertising that you’re a bronson arroyo music fan and bury that fact deep deep in the closet…even then I would imagine having a tough time looking myself in the mirror..the fact that ur so nonchalant about owning this guys album deeply saddens me.. 🙁

  7. You’re a jackass. As a Phillies fan that doesn’t care for his music, I understand rooting for our team, but this is the kind of shit that gives us a bad name.
    You can talk about his pitching skill, but don’t take it further than that. It just makes you look stupid.

  8. The fact that this guys pitching against the phils tonight has nothing to do with it…post this article about a famous professional athlete making a horrific attempt at a music career and I’ll still find it extremely amusing..how couldn’t you? No one..and I mean no one, would take this guys music career serious if he wasn’t already famous for playing baseball…think an album of cover songs entitled “round the bases” is gonna get produced for joe nobody?? Don’t think so!

  9. Right, it has nothing to do with the pitching match up. I suppose that’s why he started the article out discussing it.

  10. Ok so it’s certainly more relevant today but…a funny post any day of the year in my opinion.

  11. That was actually “America The Beautiful” with only the chorus of “God Bless America” at the end. Probably because he doesn’t know the verses for the latter.
    If he really wanted hippie credibility he should have sung “This Land Is Your Land” by Woody Guthrie.

  12. I’m in the military, and his singing “Americaaaaaa, Americaaaaa” makes me think twice about how great our country really is if we allow jackasses like him and Soulja Boy to make music.

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