Must Watch Video from Onion SportsDome: 8 Year Old Cancer Patient Granted Wish to Heckle David Wright


Just amazing.

I woke up to no less than three emails alerting us of Onion SportsDome's segment on Phillies fan Allison Pencey, an 8-year-old cancer patient whose lifelong dream to heckle David Wright was fulfilled by Onion's Wish Zone.

This is so wrong on so many levels, but it's also loaded with win. SportsDome absolutely nailed the tone and tenor of ESPN's My Wish segment. 

It starts off with Allison sitting in her hospital bed cursing at Wright, before being told she would be taken to the Phillies game to heckle him in person.

I hate how he smiles, like he's playing to make friends. Just play, scumbag.


Must watch video after the jump.

This isn't going to sit well with some folks, but I'm more concerned about the young actor who will grow up thinking it's OK to impersonate cancer patients for the sake of comedy.

H/T to Michael, Matt, The Wiz Wit guys

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  • Andy (San Diego) January 19, 2011 at 9:14 am

    That is just so wrong, I don’t even know where to begin. Wow! 🙂

  • md10 January 19, 2011 at 9:22 am

    Is that real? WTF?

  • Manrico Troncelliti January 19, 2011 at 9:35 am

    This is truly a sad exercise in attempted humor. the humor is too subtle to be funny, and frankly mocking seriously ill children with cancer is completely devoid of taste. these people are just crass and have no sense of humor. Maybe they should spend a few days in a cancer ward with dying children and see how much fun they have. Anyone who is a parent should be sick to their stomach after watching this garbage.

  • Chris January 19, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Yes, md10, it’s 100% real!!!

  • jvillejoey January 19, 2011 at 9:38 am

    Only a Philadelphian can understand and appreciate this type of humor. LOL priceless!

  • Arem January 19, 2011 at 9:43 am

    Hes going to think its “okay” to act like a cancer patient? i hope this article is about as sarcastic as the onions segment. cause thats the most assinine comment ive read
    ps awesome segment hahaah

  • jason January 19, 2011 at 9:45 am

    As a diehard phillies fan, I’m embarrassed that you are linking this video on your blog. I find crossing broad to be informative and entertaining, but this video is disgusting. It is not funny. Its tasteless garbage and I call on the writer(s) of this blog to have more discretion in what you post. Shameful

  • alex January 19, 2011 at 9:47 am

    bahahah jason stop being such a fag. there is a person right next to me with terminal cancer that thinks this is funny. get off your high horse.

  • Pete January 19, 2011 at 9:55 am


  • Loki January 19, 2011 at 9:57 am

    You people crack me up. You’ll laugh about rape, racism, murder and everything else, but god forbid we laugh at impersonating a cancer patient. Stop being hypocrites and laugh with everyone else.
    And before anyone says anything, cancer is rampant in my family. Nt bros.

  • Bobert Smith January 19, 2011 at 10:03 am

    If you don’t laugh at this, you are a douche canoe that can’t laugh at anything.

  • Clay January 19, 2011 at 10:16 am

    The Onion isn’t for everyone. Some people will love it, and other will hate it.

  • md10 January 19, 2011 at 10:35 am

    lol, that’s crazy, I didn’t think it was real! She’s a little sparkplug that girl.
    It would’ve been exponentially better if after Wright struck out and was walking back to the dugout, he was pegged right on the NY of his helmet with a D-Cell battery, lol.

  • shoobometry January 19, 2011 at 10:35 am

    the people that say this isn’t funny are the same type of people that take a million dollars a year from the susan g. komen donated funds for CANCER RESEARCH and use it for litigation purposes. i don’t care what the eff you’re trying to do, you used money people donated towards cancer research to basically secure your own paychecks. asswipes. also, this is hysterical. it’s humor, people. HUMOR. laugh. it won’t hurt, promise.

  • Tyson January 19, 2011 at 10:44 am

    Finally, we Phillies fans are getting the recognition we deserve.

  • mike January 19, 2011 at 10:46 am

    @Loki….who laughed at rape and murder? Get a clue.

  • kljk January 19, 2011 at 10:49 am

    that was crap who the hell does that, that wasnt even funny, even as a phillies fan, come we can do better then that jesus

  • KIM January 19, 2011 at 10:54 am

    @manrico and jason
    its the onion, its a joke, not real, and very funny at that. you cant possibly be offended if you are a “diehard phillies fan”…i think youre a mets fag.

  • WILL January 19, 2011 at 10:57 am

    Awww all you guys are just closed minded sons of b****es .. think of it as a way for people to express themselves.. Quit with the cries about not liking it or it not being morally right.. keep it to yourself.. if you didnt like this very well put together, and entertaining video… shove a sock in it.. and keep to ur self like the lonely idiot you are

  • Matt Carson January 19, 2011 at 11:03 am

    In advance to the haters: LEAVE. lol this is golden.

  • Sherry W January 19, 2011 at 11:09 am

    My Dad had a terminal illness and you know what? Laughter is sometimes the best medicine.

  • Sherry W January 19, 2011 at 11:16 am

    Oh and unwind your panty mobius knots- they are not making fun of real kids with cancer! It’s fictional for one, and two it’s obviously making fun of baseball fans who will hate the rival until their dying breath…Geez.

  • MrsPhanatic January 19, 2011 at 11:53 am

    JOKE!!! Enough said!

  • mike January 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

    @Sherry, sorry about your dad and all but its a whole new ball game when its a child.
    However, I did find this funny but I can definitely see how people would find this cruel. I laughed but the whole time I was thinking wow this is pretty messed up, but knowing it was fake I thought it was funny. I can definitely see why people though otherwise though.

  • Jason January 19, 2011 at 11:55 am

    As a die hard phillies fan and having a mom who had cancer,I thought that was some of the beat stuff ever,and i know my mother would have felt the same way!! LOL

  • John E. January 19, 2011 at 12:01 pm

    The Onion and similar satirical sites/shows, mock the media and how they cover things. In this case ESPN’s “My Wish” feature and sports fans who irrationally hate other players are really being mocked, not the cancer patient.

  • matt January 19, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    cool down guys the whole segment isn’t to poke fun at cancer or any other illness..they are just mocking the sportscenter my wish segment..that’s the whole point of it..and saying the child actor will grow up thinking making fun of cancer is ok is just stupid..does drew barrymore think it’s okay these days to run around chasing aliens?

  • stephen January 19, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    I watched a bit of (what I believe was the first) an episode last week and found the entire show to be in poor taste. Don’t get me wrong, I am die hard, heckling Philadelphia sports fan, but this show is WAY outta line in many of the ‘sketches’ it does.

  • owen January 19, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    God damn people it is COMEDY! First of all if you have to question if this is real or not, please jump off a bridge. This video is awesome!

  • Iron Balls McGinty January 19, 2011 at 7:43 pm

    “… I’m more concerned about the young actor who will grow up thinking it’s OK to impersonate cancer patients for the sake of comedy.”
    Hey Kyle, you doofus! What makes you think she doesn’t have cancer? Maybe it’s her special wish to act in a spoof video that goes seriously viral before she shakes off her mortal coil. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. *BLEEP*-ing Amateurs, man!

  • Joe January 19, 2011 at 8:06 pm

    It’s the Onion, this is their style of humor, get over it. I thought it was funny. There were no jabs at cancer, the jab was intended at the strong urge of Phillies’ fans to heckle and give shit to the Mets. Get over it.

  • JohnKruk January 20, 2011 at 6:05 am

    “Too subtle to be funny”
    Someone definitely shoulda just gotten smacked in the balls.

  • Timaro January 20, 2011 at 11:39 am

    I hope that was really John Kruk.

  • Coach Backpack January 20, 2011 at 10:53 pm

    Everywhere is filled with happy , harmonious and exciting atmosphere!

  • Brian, Washington, D.C, January 21, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    For those of us who have been in the stands with Philadelphia fans this just drips with irony. Their reputation for vulgarity and the weird ability to turn on their own teams precedes them, both at home and at rival East Coast venues.
    The fake cancer kid plays an asshole like so Philly fans really are. Bravo.

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