R2C2 Won’t Appear in Photos Without Joe Blanton, Allegedly

Phils_pitchers_blantonThis chick, however, she's out

This will make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. According to many people on Twitter and Facebook, it was mentioned this morning on XM's MLB Radio that Roy Halladay, Cliff Lee, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels won't appear in any photos (other than these, of course) or take part in any interviews without Joe Blanton.


Somewhere, Kyle Kendrick wants to hang himself- But what if I'm the fifth starter, guys?

No word from Joe, but our sources tell us that as long as there is a cheesecake present after the shoot, he's in.

Apparently, this was said by Billy Ripken on MLB Radio this morning- or something like that, let's not let the facts get in the way. Here's the problem: Who the hell is Billy Ripken to have an inside track on the Phillies?

There is no reason to doubt the conjecture, but it hasn't been mentioned by any of the beat writers, at least not that I could find. However, judging from CSN's announced schedule of Phillies coverage, which will include two segments on all five of the Phillies' pitchers and a supposed press conference with all of them on Monday, perhaps this is the case.

Oh fuck it, let's go with it: ZOMG this team is so loveable!

Next we'll hear that LeBron and Co. refuse to appear without Mario Chalmers and Zydrunas Ilgauskas…. Nevermind. Guess we won't be seeing that smoke-screen on-stage unveiling for R2C2 with Cliff Lee nodding his head in smug approval.

Other Phillies news:

– According to the website, the Phillies ballgirls will be taking photos with fans at noon tomorrow at the Macy's in Center City, where they will be making an announcement regarding new uniforms designed by… a department store. 

Oh yeah, nothing says sexy like beige body shapers. Even Cacique Intimate, plus-size women's lingerie, would have been a better option.

– It's also been officially confirmed that Scott Franzke will be back with the Phillies this year, finally.


18 Responses

  1. I remember Billy Ripkin . I have his card with the word “F**K FACE” printed on the bottom of the bat handle. And this is a reliable source? sigh.

  2. First question for Blanton: “So what’s it gonna be like pitching on same staff as these guys?” Second question: “So do you see yourself getting traded for a bat before the start of the season or before the free agent deadline?”

  3. Heavy B is the token ugly chick that a group of hot girls always keep around to make themselves look better.

  4. Come on guys lets be nice to BamBam I mean he does demand respect he IS the best and highest paid 5th starter in baseball.

  5. Well that’s respectable, but as for the reliability of it….who the hell cares about the reliability of the source for a story like this? Either we see our 4 aces with or without Blanton or Kendrick depending on who actually is the 5th starter this year. If it is true then good, he won’t feel so left out I guess. If not, whatever he’s still a pro pitcher who cashes in bigger pay checks than all of us combined.

  6. Hell Yea Kraig!!!! He is def the highest paid and the best #5 starter in the game. PHUCKIN PHILLIES World PHUCKIN Champions. 80′ 08′ 11′

  7. I don’t care what anyone says — I loved HeavyB through thick and thin (or fat). I think that if it’s true, it’ll instill some confidence in him. I still want to see him help this team succeed.

  8. I really hope Joe wins 13+ games this year. It’s not a stretch considering the competition he’ll be lining up against. His health shouldn’t be an issue like it was last year.

  9. Really? Admirable but useless. Look, everyone knows that Blanton will be the first guy out the door in a trade to lower the payroll. And with Andy Petitte having retired, Brian Cashman will come calling for Fat Joe any day now if not already.

  10. I like Joe. I like cheesecake. I’ll eat some with him. It just shows those who trash one team member, trash them all. We should all have friends like them. The Phils are the classiest team ever. Glad to be a fan always!

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