NFL Moves Kickoffs to 35 Yard Line

David_akers_jacketNow, if we can just do something about that jacket

Not like they have don't bigger decisions to make or anything, but the NFL announced that they will move kickoffs up from the 30 yard line to the 35 yard line. The reasoning? There will be a higher number of touchbacks this year, decreasing the risk for injury on kick returns. In related news, we continue to be a nation of wussies.

I'm pretty sure we all grew up with bullying, kick returns, and restless leg syndrome. I'm also fairly certain that our species can survive with those three things. But nation be damned if Oprah, Roger Goodell, and some twat doc aren't doing their best to put a stop to them.

According to Pro Football Talk, the two-man wedge, however, will still be allowed.

That's horrible logic. It would be like Toyota acknowledging that there is a problem with their brakes, but instead of fixing them, they just made less cars. It doesn't address the actual problem.

The rule change will do nothing to make kick returns safer, instead it will just decrease the number of them. Never mind the fact that owners wanted to add two games to the schedule, which would have turned this whole thing into a math equation (KR/Y=X…X/16*18=HOW THE FUCK MANY TOTAL RETURNS THERE WOULD HAVE BEEN).

All of this ignores the fact that the rule change will have a big impact on that game, as there will be significantly more touchbacks

This "solution" is like a drunk driving home from the bar only half of the time. I can go on and on with analogies here. This is putting a band-aid on a problem if I ever saw it.

If the league is so concerned about player safety during kick returns, then come up with something (other than decreasing the running-start distance from 15 to 5 yards) to address the issue. Just cutting in half the number of returns doesn't make the play any safer.

This all comes in addition to a proposal, which has been shelved for now, to redefine "defenseless player": []

NFL to be more aggressive with suspensions for illegal hits next season. Rules defining defenseless players expanded to eight categories:

• QB in act of throwing
• Receiver trying to catch pass
• Runner in grasp with forward progress stopped
• Player fielding punt or kickoff
• Kicker or punter during kick
• QB after change of possession
• Receiver who receives blind-side block
• Player already on ground


Bascially, defensive players would have to introduce themselves to the opposition, inform them of their intent to engage, then bear hug (GENTLY!) tackle them to the ground- preferably on a soft patch of chewed up synthetic blend turf.

The new NFL, ladies and gentlemen.


6 Responses

  1. Soon, kickers will be penalized for not kicking it far enough for a touchback and get the blame when a player is injured in a return.
    “We don’t want players to get hurt, so we’ll play 18 games instead of 16.”

  2. this isn’t harsh enough. I think defensive players should have to send an evite a week in advance of a tackle. Penalty will be void if the evite is sassy & decorative enough.

  3. I’ve been saying forever that kickoffs are simply too exciting and that there’s not enough touchbacks. i would trade every kickoff return for a touchdown that i’ve ever seen, for the safety and security of our athletes.(sarcasm emoticon here)

  4. That logic of making returns safer is worse than Iron Balls Logic”. Why not remove kickoffs altogether and just make every Change of Possession (that would result after scoring or starting the half) a touchback start at the 20?
    This “Wussification of America” is making me retch me coddle.

  5. Soon its gonna be just give the team the ball on the 20, why even have them run back, it might be “dangerous.”
    I love it, athletes are getting paid more and more, to do less and less……sounds like CEO’s and upper management all over again.

  6. ellis hobbs would rejoice about this news if rejoicing didn’t cause sharp neck pain. i wonder if the scar on his neck from the surgery is lightning bolt-shaped and throbs whenever he hears kenny britt’s name?

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