Does Anyone Else Think Chris Pronger is F#$%ing With Us?

Pronger_winning
I do.

Here’s what we know:

  • Chris Pronger got hit with a puck against the Islanders on March 24th.
  • He played four games, before eventually leaving the lineup on March 8th to get surgery on his hand. The surgery was performed on March 15th.
  • He began puckhandling a week after surgery and shooting soon thereafter.
  • On March 31st, Paul Holmgren told reporters Pronger suffered a “minor setback” and that a regular season return was out of the question.

 

That brings us to the present. Pronger is taking Ruben Amaro head-on in the race for most creative and smugful ways to yo-yo reporters about an injury that will absolutely determine the outcome for their respective teams’ seasons. Breath.

What sort of setback does one suffer with an in-the-process-of-healing broken hand that  forces him to stop shooting for two weeks? If you read between the lines, you can pretty much draw that conclusion on your own- it’s the same one a few connected folks have told me. Bones take about six weeks to heal. He was shooting at two. Now he’s not shooting. You. Do. Math.

But none of that really matters now. Prongs reportedly won’t play in Game 1, and all signs point to him being out for about another week or so. Guess what that means? All questions, conversation, and conjecture lead back to Pronger- not Bob, Richards, the team’s struggles, the powerplay, etc.

And that’s what we were talking about on Monday. Chris Pronger in playoff form… off the ice. Just look at some of these quotes. Pronger, you sandbagging son-of-a-bitch you.

Just look at some of these quotes from the other day:

[via CSN Philly video]

Do you feel like you’re making progress?

I do.

Can you grab the stick yet?

… He set that one up, didn’t he?

The hockey stick?

Yes I can.

How confident are you in playing in this series?

Very.

How confident are you in playing in Game 1?

I guess you’ll have to wait and find out, wont ya?

Are you discouraged you haven’t been shooting?

Nope not at all. Did you have a second one? Normally you have a follow up, so…

You began skating with the stick today?

As I did yesterday, and the day before that and the day before that. I’ve been skating for a while, Tim.

You’re not squeezing the stick?

Maybe you should come back tomorrow.

Things could change tomorrow?

They might. They might change everyday. Everyday’s a new day. Everyday you feel better, some days you have setbacks, other days you have steps forward. Just the nature of the beast.

On a scale of 1-to-10, what’s your pain right now?

Well, 10 right now, talking to you. That was set up again!

I’ll tell ya what, I’m going to talk about it anymore because it’s none of your business and if you have any other questions, unrelated to that, I will accept any of them.

How’d I look out there today? Pretty fresh, huh?

 

All of that… with a smile on his face.

Danny Briere goes on radio and talks about… Chris Pronger.

Peter Laviolette speaks to reporters about… Chris Pronger.

Sean O’Donnell speaks to reporters about… Boom, Chris Fucking Pronger.

Not the awkward goaltending situation- Micheal Leighton is on the roster. Not the horrid powerplay. Not the team’s awful play down the stretch. Chris Pronger. Like last year, Prongs has made himself the focal point – even while he's not on the ice – which allows the rest of the team to prepare as they see fit. It’s genius, really.

Of course, they could still use him on the ice sooner rather than later. But that's another post- this one.

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6 Responses

  1. I definitely think Chris Pronger is fucking with us. I think he’s going with the whole “Let’s list him as questionable right up until game time, so the other team doesn’t know whether to prepare for Pronger or not” approach.

  2. It’s quite obvious he’s being very elusive. Why not come clean about when he’ll be back? I’m not sure it’s all about smoke and mirrors but it works if so.
    Kyle, do you really think there is a goalie “situation” ? I don’t think anyone, even Leighton expects Micheal Leighton to start in the playoffs for the Flyers. He’s the 3rd option right now I think. Not due to anything besides he missed too much time this season. Lav might use him to be nice, but I don’t see any other reason.

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