Insert Heat Pun Right Here

Ringless
This is exactly what we wanted.

Think about it, no one is delusional enough to believe that the Sixers would actually have a chance to win anything this spring. So what’s the next best thing? A high-profile series.

Whether it was the Heat, Celtics, or Magic, the Sixers were going to face a tall task in the first round. But now, for a few weeks, they will be “America’s team.”

Every game will be on national television, their highlights will lead SportsCenter, and every non-front-running Tom, Dick, and Harry in the country will be rooting for big tree LeBron to fall hard.

The only logical outcome for this season is for basketball to become relevant again in this town. A series against the Celtics or Magic would have garnered little attention, especially with the Flyers’ playoffs and the Phillies going on. Playing the Heat, on the other hand, will put the Sixers on the same level as the Flyers and Phillies… at least for a couple of weeks (or a month, depending on how painfully long the NBA drags out the first round).

With all of that being said, can we please sign a petition to boycott any and all heat puns and South Beach references? Beat the heat, feeling the heat, can’t take the heat, taking their talents to South Beach, took their talents to South Beach (with a win, of course), heatin’ up, turn up the heat, probably some awkward Nelly “hot in here” reference, etc. I’m getting hot just thinking about it.

You can get one of those "Ringless" shirts right here.

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10 Responses

  1. Although VERY unlikely, beating the Heat would be this team’s championship. They’d be playing the rest of the playoffs with house money.

  2. Meeks: I beg to differ. There hasn’t been a rivalry with Boston since the 80’s, and certainly not over the last few years as the Celtics won the crown and have been a perennial Eastern Conference favorite while the Sixers haven’t even won a playoff round in God knows how long. Bottom line: Boston have been the men, we’ve been the boys.
    Meanwhile, I’m absolutely elated that the Sixers are playing Miami. Given how the Heat are despised in some, if not most quarters, Philly figures to be everyone’s darlings and will get their fair share of love as a rooting interest. Pretty damn good, considering they were a four-alarm train wreck and didn’t exist on a national level only a year ago.
    While I agree with Kyle that the Sixers don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of upsetting Miami, I figure they’ll give the Lebrons a nervous moment or two. That’ll be good enough for me. Call it something to build on for the future. And yes, I promise to avoid using any Heat/Lebron related puns.

  3. Thr Sixers will have mores games on national TV in this series than they did the entire regular season.

  4. Well said, Mike. Imagine if the Sixers won it all. That would be very interesting to say the least.
    At least the team is on the rise. Doug Collins deserves coach of the year.

  5. I agree with Nick about Coach of the Year, having brought the Sixers out of the gutter after last season’s catastrophe. Sadly, Chicago’s Tim Thibodeau has pretty much wrapped up the award.

  6. These f*cking celebs and athletes aren’t part of the Real 33139. It’s all gone downhill since that b*tch Gloria Estaphan brought all her real estate and celeb chums together to put fresh paint on the place. But it was a much better place when it was nothing but drug dealers and cheap whores. You could actually hold up a joint back then while saying “say hello to my little friend” and people would still take you seriously instead of thinking you were some weird movie fan tourist or something. I hope we can get one good hurricane to scare all of these wussies away and have the place go back to the way it was.
    And don’t get me started on Jimmy Buffet ruining the keys for all of us real Conch Republic Rum Runners too. you know he doesn’t live there any more. It’s too quaint for him now that he’s hanging out with all of his rich friends Key West is too low class for him. And it’s all the fault of the stoopid people in the world who pay $500 a seat to hear “cheeseuger in paradise” when they know that sh*t is retarded.

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