… or keyboard. Or whatever dick reference is appropriate.

Let’s break it down.

Yesterday, Inquirer columnist and former 97.5 host John Gonzalez wrote an article about booing, which – rightfully – blasted the square media-types who consistently feel the need to call us out for doing something we’ve done for the last 50 years. In the screed, Gonzo took aim at his Philly Newspapers (or whatever they're now calling the company that resides at 400 N. Broad) colleague, Daily News Phillies beat writer David Murphy, who writes the “High Cheese” blog on Philly.com.

That's part of the problem. Many media types I know hold the fans in contempt. It's sad when, say, a cheese-heavy local baseball blogger thinks he knows it all but fails to see himself for what he is: a glorified stenographer with a bloated ego and a sweet gig. It's the misguided elitism that rankles. Reporters don't consume sports the same way fans do, and few of them have made much of an effort to understand your perspective.


– gasps - Like that scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, where Angelo tells Judge Doom he’s seen a rabbit.  He didn’t really just do that, did he?

This is where things got good… after the jump.

Murphy (@HighCheese) took to the Tweets for his response, making perhaps the best use of a TwitLonger-like service ever.

If this dude's radio show was half as bad as his column, I can understand why he was such a failure.

I'd like to apologize for my earlier Tweet. It was immature of me to mock a guy who has made it clear that he does not expect, nor even desire, to be taken seriously. Rather than accept him for who he is — an irrelevant voice whose column shares space with the daily sports cartoon — I made the mistake of taking the easy way out and focusing on his various professional inadequacies. I should have just said this: We are in the business of fairness, and it doesn't get more unfair than publicly accusing a writer of having contempt for his readership. Unlike the Lorax, I do not believe a fan base to be a homogenous group of people whose thinking and behavior can be neatly generalized for the express purpose of writing a simpleton column. I believe the majority of fans are rational individuals with a beautifully irrational love for their teams, people who have the ability to process critical thoughts on their own, people who do not need to be told how to feel by a columnist who has a latent inferiority complex and an eighth-grader's grasp of the English language. The only people for whom I hold contempt are hack wannabe writers who invent stories for the express purpose of taking a pandering viewpoint. Please accept this apology. 

I said everything I need to say. We have different views of the profession. I don't respect his. End of story.


Oh, the horror.

Gonzo (@gonzophilly) fired back.

It’s true. I failed on the radio. You got me there @highcheese

But there are different types of failure, @highcheese. There was that time you mouthed off and someone popped you and gave you a black eye.

There’s the failure of your career, @highcheese – the fact that, despite being a beat writer, you’ve never broken a story. (Does your check direct deposit into Zolecki’s account?)

And there’s that time you failed to get a local female sportscaster to go home with you. You remember…….she kicked you out of the cab and left you standing with your shriveled dick in hand.But, hey, I didn't make it on the radio. So score that one for you.

BTW: I like Dr. Seuss. Fuck anyone who doesn't

And while I'm at it, why is @PhillyGossip in on this? Shouldn't you be carrying Alycia Lane's purse?


Amazing. Eddie Valiant – and the rabbit – are crying in the corner.

"@PhillyGossip" is Dan Gross, Philly.com gossip columnist- in case you didn’t figure that out. He had backed Murphy on Twitter.

@gonzophilly Yep. Like you carry @AJDaulerio 's nuts. 


A.J. Daulerio is the editor of Deadspin and Gonzo’s buddy. Oh my.

That was it. Presumably, Gonzo tapped-out. Or exploded. And Murph most likely had go put away his thesaurus.

You can count me in for wanting to see this continued on some sort of live broadcasting medium. But want I really want to know is, who's the chick that kicked Murphy out of the car?