John Gonzalez and David Murphy Whip It Out to See Whose Pen is Bigger

… or keyboard. Or whatever dick reference is appropriate.

Let’s break it down.

Yesterday, Inquirer columnist and former 97.5 host John Gonzalez wrote an article about booing, which – rightfully – blasted the square media-types who consistently feel the need to call us out for doing something we’ve done for the last 50 years. In the screed, Gonzo took aim at his Philly Newspapers (or whatever they're now calling the company that resides at 400 N. Broad) colleague, Daily News Phillies beat writer David Murphy, who writes the “High Cheese” blog on

That's part of the problem. Many media types I know hold the fans in contempt. It's sad when, say, a cheese-heavy local baseball blogger thinks he knows it all but fails to see himself for what he is: a glorified stenographer with a bloated ego and a sweet gig. It's the misguided elitism that rankles. Reporters don't consume sports the same way fans do, and few of them have made much of an effort to understand your perspective.


– gasps - Like that scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, where Angelo tells Judge Doom he’s seen a rabbit.  He didn’t really just do that, did he?

This is where things got good… after the jump.

Murphy (@HighCheese) took to the Tweets for his response, making perhaps the best use of a TwitLonger-like service ever.

If this dude's radio show was half as bad as his column, I can understand why he was such a failure.

I'd like to apologize for my earlier Tweet. It was immature of me to mock a guy who has made it clear that he does not expect, nor even desire, to be taken seriously. Rather than accept him for who he is — an irrelevant voice whose column shares space with the daily sports cartoon — I made the mistake of taking the easy way out and focusing on his various professional inadequacies. I should have just said this: We are in the business of fairness, and it doesn't get more unfair than publicly accusing a writer of having contempt for his readership. Unlike the Lorax, I do not believe a fan base to be a homogenous group of people whose thinking and behavior can be neatly generalized for the express purpose of writing a simpleton column. I believe the majority of fans are rational individuals with a beautifully irrational love for their teams, people who have the ability to process critical thoughts on their own, people who do not need to be told how to feel by a columnist who has a latent inferiority complex and an eighth-grader's grasp of the English language. The only people for whom I hold contempt are hack wannabe writers who invent stories for the express purpose of taking a pandering viewpoint. Please accept this apology. 

I said everything I need to say. We have different views of the profession. I don't respect his. End of story.


Oh, the horror.

Gonzo (@gonzophilly) fired back.

It’s true. I failed on the radio. You got me there @highcheese

But there are different types of failure, @highcheese. There was that time you mouthed off and someone popped you and gave you a black eye.

There’s the failure of your career, @highcheese – the fact that, despite being a beat writer, you’ve never broken a story. (Does your check direct deposit into Zolecki’s account?)

And there’s that time you failed to get a local female sportscaster to go home with you. You remember…….she kicked you out of the cab and left you standing with your shriveled dick in hand.But, hey, I didn't make it on the radio. So score that one for you.

BTW: I like Dr. Seuss. Fuck anyone who doesn't

And while I'm at it, why is @PhillyGossip in on this? Shouldn't you be carrying Alycia Lane's purse?


Amazing. Eddie Valiant – and the rabbit – are crying in the corner.

"@PhillyGossip" is Dan Gross, gossip columnist- in case you didn’t figure that out. He had backed Murphy on Twitter.

@gonzophilly Yep. Like you carry @AJDaulerio 's nuts. 


A.J. Daulerio is the editor of Deadspin and Gonzo’s buddy. Oh my.

That was it. Presumably, Gonzo tapped-out. Or exploded. And Murph most likely had go put away his thesaurus.

You can count me in for wanting to see this continued on some sort of live broadcasting medium. But want I really want to know is, who's the chick that kicked Murphy out of the car?


50 Responses

  1. I’m with Gonzo. Most of the media in this town are blatant, elitist assholes who wouldn’t so much as spit on fans if they were on fire. Jock sniffing, buttmunching cretins like Murphy, Phil Sheridan and Frank Fitzpatrick, just to name a few are a prime example of that putrid elitism which I cannot stand. I’d love nothing more than to shake Gonzo’s hand for telling it like it REALLY is!

  2. Personally, I have always thought that Gonzo is a joke and that it was insulting that he would be published in the Inquirer, our premier local newspaper.
    On the other hand, David Murphy writes one of the best blogs about the Phillies that I have ever read. He’s on par with our national representation – Jayson Stark and Todd Zolecki. His columns are always insightful and a pleasure to read. I’ve found he also takes more of an analyst bend unlike Matt Gelb who seems to be more of a reporter.
    Speaking of that, thank goodness Matt Gelb replaced Andy Martino and Martino was sent packing to the New York Mets. So offense to him, but Martino was one of the most boring and uninsightful writers I have ever read. Gelb is a welcome improvement.

  3. GONZOOOOOOOOOOOOOO preach brotha…blackeye,gay haircuts and now booted from a cab hahahaha that dude is the biggest tool..who the eff does he think he is…way to own that hack

  4. Isn’t Gonzo engaged to the girl who’s on the Postgame Live show? Maybe it was a veiled reference to Murphy trying to date her?

  5. “That was it. Presumably, Gonzo tapped-out. Or exploded. And Murph most likely had go put away his thesaurus.”
    Haha.. I think both of these guys are hacks. I actually think the Gelb kid is a much better writer than these two.

  6. This is so obviously a lovers spat. This must be terribly hard on these guys to have it all end like this. Unless they make up?? The making up is good I hear. All over carrying someone else’s nuts, and or jocks. Who cheated first? That’s what I wanna know.

  7. Murph drinks Miller Lite & thinks he the Fonze;
    Gonzo drinks Belgian beers & hangs at monks cafe=
    Gonzo wins

  8. wow… awesome stuff… can we turn this into a reality show… put the two in the same house for spring training next year… watch them both fail to put together anything of significance and then fight for coloumn space in the paper… come on… youd watch it…

  9. fgreat way to start off teh work week…so who the hell punched david murphy in the face?

  10. While I don’t like Gonzo and he had arguably the worst radio show in history, that column on booing actually was pretty good. Murphy has always struck me as an arrogant know-it-all whose work does not match his ego. At least these two idiots spiced up a boring Sunday night.

  11. Gonzo’s response just brightened my day, cheap shots at a man’s ‘game’ always seems to have a longer-lasting affect than talking about his career. I love Gonzo. lol

  12. Murph couldn’t handle Fadool anyways. He should stick with the high school girls.

  13. David Murphy looks like Topher Grace after Toby McGuire kicked ass in SpiderMan 3, but Murphy does have some inciteful blogs.

  14. What I want to know is…who punched Murphy in the face and how can I go about buying this man a beer?

  15. Gelb is the best writer, Gonzo the funniest and David Murphy the tooliest. I sitting firmly in Team Gonzo’s corner, even if people believe is opinions are irrelevant.

  16. Murphy looks like a troll with down syndrome so can you really blame the girl for leaving him blue-balled?

  17. This is great! Murph does seem to be a tad self-righteous and a bit of a know-it-all. Didn’t follow Gonzo on Twitter until today so I won’t pass judgement on him.
    Gonzo definitely gets the win because he is calling Murph a pussy.
    What would be cool, is if they stepped into the octagon to go toe to toe!

  18. Both guys lost credibility for bitch slapping one another via Twitter…grow up ignore one another and go do your job, let THAT do the talking for you.

  19. John Gonzalez = no talent hack.
    David Murphy = kind of a tool (the only proof you need is that picture up there), still respectable.
    Speaking of needing a thesaurus, how long do you think it took Gonzo to stumble upon “elitism” and “rankles”? And which hand did he use to congratulate himself afterwards?

  20. If I got my hands on Gonzo, I’d give him a taste of my fury. That’s right. Nobody puts David in the corner.

  21. Gonzo’s a poser, what does he add to the debate. Pandering to the fan base doesn’t add anything and that’s why I frequently skip his column. The High-Cheese column often shows the kind of thoughtful number crunching we came to love about Jayson Stark. When was the last time Gonzo broke a story? Simply reacting and provoking a few drunks in the stands really requires no skill.

  22. soooo…what happens when these two douche bags run into each other at the office? do they stack the cubes and have a cubical caged death match? do they hug it out? or do they have more nerdy banter about who has a better column?

  23. If your post proves one thing right, it’s that you and the rest of the sports writers in the world are Peter-Pan mama’s boys. What a bunch of childesh whiners, the lot of ya! “Nanny, nanny, boo, boo”-ing back and forth. And all the references to stupid kid-stuff like Seuss and Roger-rabbit. What’s the matter with you? They auwt to send Gov Rendell over to de-wussify all of you. Now shut the f*ck up and act like men, not like some Hollywood finocchio!:

  24. Anyone else think “Iron Balls” has an inferiority complex himself?? I’m giving 10/1 odds he is no taller than 5’6″… #realmendontcallthemselvesironballs

  25. Seriously? Isn’t anyone a professional anymore??? They both need to read the Jamie Moyer Instruction Book On How to Be Classly.

  26. Seriously? These two jokers in a Twitter war?
    Any fan who follows the Phillies knows that Ryan Lawrence of the Delco Times writes 100x better than these two clowns combined.
    And people wonder why both Philadelphia daily papers are losing readers at an alarming rate. I can’t even remember the last time I read either the Inky or Daily News (at least voluntarily).

  27. Jamie Moyer whined like a baby when he got pulled out of the roation. He isn’t above this crap either.
    Gonzo took a weak shot at Murphy. Murphy is a pretty good writer who obviously puts his time in.
    Advantage Murphy. I think he also banged Gonzo’s wife.

  28. The guy who said murphy looks like a troll with down syndrome is right on the mark. Gonzo’s show on 97.5 was pretty good, I blame that self righteous Sikahema for its demise. This murphy guy needs a new haircut and a couple new buttons for that shirt………………Homo!
    viva the floating head!

  29. Based on the number of “Ha’s”, I believe 5’6″ was a bit generous. Calm down little guy.

  30. Short people got big cock and balls. The Dumb-Antos only has an overused and abused, loose, and rotten cunt.
    Calm down Dumb-Antos, and stop running “your cunt mouth at me”:


  31. Here’s thedumbantos getting a Miller Lite at a game:

    Seriously, what with all the très gay hash-tags? Only a returded doosh talks that way. And mimicking Chuckie Sheen makes it even mucher returded. Man-up and write like a man, for f*ck’s sakes.

  32. YouTube video would have been a nice touch if it worked.
    I give English lessons in my spare time. Let me know when you have some free time.

  33. I do enjoy Murphy’s work – he definitely does his homework and puts forth some thought provoking pieces. But… I read his column criticizing the fans for booing Hamels (Ps, Zolecki wrote one too the same day, on the same topic) and it burned me up a bit. Dave is right that his readers for the most part are rational and somewhat intelligent – so DONT patronize us by telling us how we should think/feel/react to a player’s performance. That’s my job to figure out as a fan (a well paying fan might I add).
    As for Gonzo, he for the most part is a joke. It’s not his job to break stories – he writes a fluff column. Typically, I never share his viewpoint on the topics he writes about – but I do give him props for calling out Murphy for overstepping his bounds as a reporter.
    As immature as the “twat-war” is, I do think it’s hillarious. Only thing that would make it better is if Bill1Chair stepped into it…

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