Morning Wood: King Cole

Billie_jean_phillies Morning Wood is a hard news roundup for your Philadelphia Phillies. Good or bad, it will show up every morning.

Breaking hoagie news this morning:

Screen shot 2011-06-09 at 8.09.57 AM

This guy…

1) There was a guy sitting behind home plate wearing an "ABC stole Slack Hoagies' logo" t-shirt. It turns out, like, this is a thing. Dan Gross had a quick blurb about it last week. The awful ABC show "Cougar Town" was using the logo for "Mel's Hoagie Hut." Slacks is not happy. Sooo, there's that.

2) After posting about Wawa's terrific Hoagiefest campaign on Monday, I was able to download the whole suite of 2011 hoagie jams. I'm using one as a ringtone. But more importantly, the original "up in the sky, hoagie man's flyin' by…" song is not retired. It was played on ABC this morning. My excitement, as you can imagine, is off the charts.

Speaking of excitement…

Reader Ian asked – via Twitter – if a little, um, problem he is having is normal. I won't link to his question because I'm not sure he would like everyone to know his issue- it's a silent killer.

Q: Is it odd Cole Hamels now gives me wood the same way Halladay and Lee do? I'm hard 3 games a week now… I need rehab.


Ian, you see the name of this segment, right? Your problem is a totally normal – and expected – outcome of watching an unprecedented pitching staff. Speaking from experience, I was a human compass, pointing due north from the day we signed Lee almost clear through to New Year's. It should be noted, however, that if you experience an erection lasting longer than four starters, seek immediate medical attention.

The links:

The Phillies won last night, 2-0. 

Cole Hamels was dominant. The last time he faced the Dodgers, in Game 5 of the 2009 NLCS, he wasn't very good (the Phillies still won). David Murphy talks about Cole's growth over the last two years. He is now throwing four pitches instead of two. Amazing that he was World Series MVP in 2008. It’s like two different pitchers.

Everyone is fascinated with Dom Brown's hose (are we getting a little weird this morning?). In the sixth inning, a Matt Kemp single should have scored Andre Ethier. Instead, Dom Brown galloped toward the ball, picked it up, and unleashed hith (word?) fury. He has tools, folks.

Even though he's only had a modicum of success – at best – in his Major League career so far, Brown has shown all the makings of a star. The sound when he hits the ball is not natural, yo. Bill Lyon, legend, eloquently describes the nurturing of this young steed. For real, he's colt-like: still struggling to put his feet under him, but displaying the tools and hose of a champion. I'm weirded out now. Moving on…

Charlie Manuel talks about Cole Hamels without his shirt on. Umm… []

"He's grown up a lot," he said. "He's way more mature. He's been around guys like Jamie Moyer and Halladay and Lee and Roy Oswalt and guys like that. He has a better work ethic now. He's getting stronger. He's bigger than he used to be. If you see him with his shirt and stuff off, he's developing into a man."




In 13 starts this season, Hamels has held the opposition to three runs or less 11 times. [Delco Times]

Rollins and Utley obviously didn't play last night. Utley was just given a rest after five straight games, Rollins could play tonight.

Videos of Cole Hamels' post-game presser (shirt on) and Billie Jean King grunting are after the jump.

Hamels video via David Hale:




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10 Responses

  1. Haha, I was just going to mention how I’d heard the “up in the sky” jingle on ABC this AM, nice catch. I’ve also downloaded the zip from their site, but that one is not among them…

  2. That was the same guy with the skin tight coke tee shirt on. BTW does Dan Gross still work for the DN

  3. Kyle, dammit, fuck you dude. It’s 9:30am and I have 2 different Wawa hoagie jingles stuck in my head.

  4. i totally identify with reader Ian. but i’m a girl. i love these morning wood posts. nothing like LOLing at work in the AM. thank you!

  5. I gotta admit, Cliffy-Poo isn’t giving me wood anymore. He’s just not doing as well as I’d like him to. Cole has jumped into his slot. Our true #2 pitcher, Cole Hamels.

  6. I dont call a docotor when my erection lasts longer than 4 hours…i just watch Joe Blanton pitch.

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