Morning Wood: Pure, Unadulterated Baseball Sex

Cliff_lee_photoPhoto: Matt Slocumb AP/Phillies.com

Our magical steed certainly pissed excellence into the Kentucky night. I can only imagine that last night's performance was the on-earth equivalent of Mitch Hedberg having sex with partially cloaked angels. While our stud is completely indifferent to the feelings he engenders in his mates, the divine spirits chorus a euphoric rendition of Belinda Carlise's Heaven is a Place on Earth.

If you think that's ridiculous, know that I watched the game with my Dad last night and seriously contemplated asking him if he thought Cliff Lee's mother was a unicorn.

Let's take a look at some of the statisticals:

Cliff Lee is 5-0 in June with 0.21 ERA. He has produced more runs (2) than he has given up (1). According to ESPN, batters are hitting .152 against Lee. He is batting .250. He has the fifth lowest ERA in a calendar month for a starting pitcher, behind Orel Hershisher, Dwight Gooden, Nolan Ryan, and Fernando Valenzuela.

For realsies, you have trouble replicating this stuff in video games.

HOLY SHIT! MLB now lets us embed video! Watch it right here:

Jim McCormick has more on Lee and a game recap.

Cliff Lee is completely indifferent toward your euphoria: [Delco Times]

Ruben Amaro might be more interested in an arm than another bat. He lies.

“Everyone wants to talk about the offense, but to me it’s always about the pitching,” Amaro said. “Those are the things that win championships, so if we were able to do things in that area, great.”

 

A Bostonian take on Lee.

Michael Stutes cut his hair. Either he or Antonio Bastaro will be the closer in Madson's absence.

Finally, did anyone else notice a dichotomy between the 2006 clip of Beckett's home run and the 2009 clip? 

Screen shot 2011-06-29 at 8.38.18 AM
Screen shot 2011-06-29 at 8.38.18 AM
While it's worth noting more folks had jackets and coats on in the '06 shot (May), notice how many more people are wearing red post-World Series win… Merchandise!

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18 Responses

  1. Doc’s Perfect Game last year or Lee’s 3 in a row complete game shut out? Close…but I take Lee..we’re talking 3 games in a ROW! (and 1 against the best batting ave team in baseball!)

  2. To be honest, I’d be happy if Amaro didn’t break the bank for a right-handed bat like everyone’s clamoring for. I think we need a much more reliable reliever than anything else. That’s even with Jose, Ryan and Brad coming off the DL.

  3. Also I think the more red may be due to more Phillies fans. 2006 was back in the pre-sellout-every-game era. I’m sure lots more Sox fans were there in 2006 than 2009 on, and probably in the “cheap” seats.

  4. After 2008 it became the norm to walk into a gas station or produce junction and walk out with Phillies gear.

  5. “If you think that’s ridiculous, know that I watched the game with my Dad last night and seriously contemplated asking him if he thought Cliff Lee’s mother was a unicorn.”
    That’s good shit, I LOLed.

  6. Cliff Lee is the reason you wake up in the morning. He’s the reason you put clothes on, he’s the reason you eat breakfast, he’s the reason you go to whatever miserable ass job you go to, he’s the reason you put up with your asshole boss, he’s the reason why you come home barely sane. He’s the reason we breathe oxygen and exhale Co2. He’s the reason for life itself. (God help me, last nights game only fueled my full blown man crush on Cliff Lee).

  7. After watching that masterpiece last night, I’m convinced that to call Cliff Lee a god would be horribly insulting—-to Cliff Lee!

  8. While the photos show a distinct difference in red championship gear, which is awesome, the thing I noticed was the addition of the HK sign, which ain’t so awesome. Still missin’ Harry.

  9. @John E.
    Yeah, but the Red Sox fans generally wear red, too… I think it is a merch difference.
    @Adam
    I kind of agree, but…
    This is the first time a pitcher has done this since 2007 I think I heard. There’s been 3 or 4* perfect games in that span, pshhh.

  10. @Adam – I hear. I’m probably comparing apples to oranges (or MLB Homeruns to Red Bull Homeruns). Both F’n amazing..and Cliff’s run is not over yet….!

  11. @Kenny – Ibanez goes 3 for 3 tonight dude. He’s got his moments just like the rest of ’em. Still think they need a reliever more than anything.

  12. But you’re missing the important question. If you were to clone Cliff Lee and have him pitch to himself, what would happen? I think it would cause a hole in the universe and the end of all life as we know it. Your opinion?

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