Thome_manuelShucks, maybe

In today's Inquirer, the paper of dwindling readership, Bob Brookover mentions that the Phillies could be interested in first baseman Jim Thome. Say who?

I would provide a link and a quote, but since navigating is like driving around centuries-old Italian roads [read: I couldn't find the fucking link], here's a summary:

A source told Brookover that Jim Thome would love to finish his career in Philadelphia playing for Charlie Manuel. With the Twins already in last place, Thome will most likely be available at the deadline, and, according to Brookover, could play the role of Matt Stairs in the 2011 production of Phillies baseball.

– stops, digests –

Hmm… interesting concept, Bob. Seeing as though that role is currently occupied by new daddy Ross Gload, who a has a torn labrum in his hip, Thome could be an upgrade. Let's delve.

Thome had a good season last year, hitting .283 with 29 HR and 59 RBI in 276 at-bats. This year, he is hitting only .237, but has 4 HR and 12 RBI in 76 at-bats- so the power is still there.

Even though this is nothing more than hearsay at this point, acquiring Thome would have Disney-like undertones: Aging star returns to former team to play for beloved mentor and helps team win World Series. Of course, there's also the M. Night Shyamalan version, which tells us that Thome has really been dead since 2006 (no seasons since with over 100 RBI, and a 4-for-29, 1 RBI performance in last three postseasons combined). 

I like the Disney angle better, however.

Plus, bringing Thome back would give the Phillies baseball's two nicest players and an aw-shucks duo of epic proportions. 

Speculation: kinda like, well ya know, I-thought-maybe-like-it'd-be a little fun.