Morning Wood: Mini Mart Edition

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T-Mac and Wheels fascinate themselves with Wheels' book, which is now on Kindle.

Reader Ian asked me on Twitter last night what this game would be called. I'm not proud to say that I lied awake for a solid 20 minutes before coming up with the perfect name: The Justin Timberlake.

While the game started out like a Kensington Strangler, and had many of the qualities of The 6 ABC Boscov's Thanksgiving Day Parade Game (up until the 8th inning), there was no moniker which fully described last night's action. Enter JT.

It started out a little rocky. Even though 'N Sync cranked out a few number one hits, any self respecting man knew that the songs were nothing more than cheesy bubble gum pop. But you saw the potential. Next thing you know, things start to turn: JT releases a few number one singles, pulls Janet Jackson's boob out at the Super Bowl, and continues to push the envelope with hip hop collabos. You start to think there's a chance- he's talented and funny. He releases a few more catchy singles, starts acting, records Dick in a Box, and bangs every actress in Hollywood. Now you're sold. In case any doubt remained, JT nails it in Social Network, rips Joe Buck a new one at the All-Star Game, and Michael Martinez hits a ninth inning double to win it at Wrigley. Boom.

The Phillies won, 4-2. Here's Mini Mart's game-winning double, thanks to MLB's random video embed policy:

Cliff Lee talks about the 'N Sync years and the Phillies win. Whatever. [Video via David Hale]

Doc talked about overheating on Monday: [CSN Philly]

“I thought I could get through it, but that last inning I felt like I was about to get wheeled off the mound,” the Phillies ace said before Tuesday night’s game against the Cubs at still sweltering Wrigley Field.

“Between innings I couldn’t get away from the heat,” Halladay said. “I couldn’t escape it. It got to the point where I kept getting hotter and hotter and I couldn’t stop it.”

 

There's a chance the Phillies trade for Carlos Beltran. More here.

Roy Oswalt threw a successful bullpen. Details at the Delco Times.

Pat Gallen of Phillies Nation thinks you're too negative.

Here's a crazy stat via Todd Zolecki:

Michael Martinez is third on the Phillies with 11 RBIs in July. Only Ibanez (14) and Mayberry (12) have more.

 

Production!

Finally, an inadvertent T-Mac boobs telestration (H/T to @natedoggg9):

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Luckily he left out the Mr. Ed smile.

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10 Responses

  1. Tmac’s non stop chatter you’d think would find a note of humor at some point with the exception of “oppo boppo” it hasn’t. SHUT THE FUCK UP!

  2. OH! Mammaries! Darn the bad luck! I had totally missed that! Good thing Kyle is here to point these things out to us!

  3. Ok first of all tmac and wheels look like a couple of mentally challenged men in that picture (and sound like it a lot of times, too)
    I love cliff lee, more than ANY other athlete, but what was he thinking with that shirt!? Oh and you can always bet on him picking his nose at least once an interview 🙂
    And last, the name plates above the lockers behind him- K Steinhour(?) and F Coppenbarger(?) …. Who are they!?
    As always, I was entertained by this article. Keep up the good work!

  4. Curious as to what your guys thoughts on TMac are?? I personally cannot STAND him. He never shuts up and always wants to offer his analysis. Just STFU and call balls and strikes Tits-mac

  5. I find it funny how people get their panties in such a bunch over announcers who annoy them. I for one have no problem with Tom, or Wheels, or Sarge, or anyone else who calls for that matter. Hell, Joe Buck doesn’t even phase me, and he drives Phillies fans berserk.

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