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While sitting at the game yesterday, watching Cliff Lee foul off six pitches from Tommy Hanson, I thought how surreal it would be if he hit his first home run during the at-bat. Like most things Clifton, the unlikely – no, mythical – happened: He smoked a ball 400 feet into the right field seats. As if to say "I got you, World… positive forces do still exist," Lee's home run landed in the open hands of a man leaning against the first-row railing… much to the joy of the little kid standing next to him. 

The best part (quite subjective, though) in all of this is that I finally found something more exciting than watching Cliff Lee pitch: Watching Cliff Lee trot around the bases. Our magical steed proudly rounded those things like a show pony making a victory lap. I half expected a tail to pop out and swing like that of an audacious puppy. The crowd not-so-briefly resembled a mythical village channeling its inner Whoville and singing a modified version of Welcome Christmas.

Welcome, welcome fahoo ramus
Welcome, welcome dahoo damus
Clifmas day is in our grasp
So long as we have hands to clasp

Of course, your experience may be decidedly less weird than mine. But don't keep me down, realists. Chooch liked it, too:

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With the home run, Lee briefly raised his batting average (.220 at the time) above that of Jayson Werth (.217). There are a 126 million reasons why that is unexplainable. Further, as if it was some sort of cruel joke, Jair Jurrjens, who recently lost a bet to teammate Tim Hudson when he hit a home run, was on-air with FOX during Lee's moment. All he could muster up was "oh no, no… are you kidding me? Wow."

Cliff, Charlie, and Ryno talked about it after the game:

Oh yeah, the Phillies lost, 4-1.

Cole Hamels on the hill today. Here's more than you need to know about his hellacious poison oak:

“It felt like razor blades on the back of my legs every time I’d take a step,” Hamels said.

Utility man Ross Gload — who, like Hamels, wore shorts during the Phillies’ fishing expedition — also came down with poison oak.

Oswalt, who wore long pants, and lefty Cliff Lee and catcher Carlos Ruiz, who fished in different areas, did not.

“It didn’t work out too well for me,” Hamels said, smiling. “I don’t know if I’ll be fishing on (Oswalt’s) property without (long) pants on anytime soon.”


Great read from FOX Sports.

John Miller warns of the Braves.

Finally, reader Brad provides more evidence of Ryan Madson's figure tattoo, as Mad Dog made the rounds during Photo Day in full-on Kris Kross glory.

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