Morning Wood: Vanimal

Screen Shot 2011-07-21 at 9.20.38 AM
Thanks to reader Jesse for that frightening Photoshop. Here's the accompanying commercial. I love how that thing was made by "Galoob," I feel like they made every 80s child toy.

– A quick roundup today. According to FOX Sports, not only are the Phillies serious contenders for Carlos Beltran, but they're also serious contenders for Melky Cabrera: [FOX Sports]

Philadelphia officials have spoken with the Royals about acquiring Melky Cabrera, a fellow switch-hitting outfielder whose 2011 numbers aren’t too far behind Beltran’s. Cabrera entered Wednesday with a .793 OPS, compared to .911 for Beltran. 

The conversations between the Phillies and Royals are serious enough that names have been exchanged, according to a major-league source, but no deal for Cabrera was close as of early Wednesday evening. 


– Matt Gelb writes about the room in Wrigley the Phillies used to keep cool: []

The Room is small – no bigger than 12 by 6 feet. Before Wednesday it was possibly a closet. Inside are three flat-screen TVs, two computers, an air-conditioning unit, and two fans, making it the most modern spot in 97-year-old Wrigley Field.

Vance Worley did not know about The Room until minutes before he twirled eight innings in a 9-1 Phillies drubbing of the sad-sack Cubs. A day before, the 23-year-old pitcher drank eight Gatorades, seven waters, and a Pedialyte to prepare for the heat that conquered Roy Halladay on Monday – only for his sleep to be disrupted by added bathroom trips.


-Here's Vance talking about it. Is it just me, or does he always seem strung out?

– The Phillies are on pace to set a franchise record in wins.

– David Hale makes the case for Antonio Bastardo to continue his closing duties.

– According to ESPN Boston, the Red Sox will again play in Philly next year. World Series rematch?

– Here are bunch of pictures of Chase Utley from the time he was a kid.

– Finally, here's the awful, unfunny, mostly awkward Chase Utley and Ryan Howard cartoon you keep sending me:


22 Responses

  1. I just hope vince whirley doesn’t turn into kylie keldrick. Start out good and then get traded to Japan.

  2. Ew!!! That cartoon is very creepy. I couldn’t watch the whole thing. The voices are burned into my brain now. Yuck!
    Vance is a very unique character. He gives a great interview and seems very confident but not too cocky in himself. That’s cool. It will be very interesting to watch his future development.

  3. he’s probably strung out because he just finished pitching 8 innings in scorching heat. i think we’d all be a bit strung out….

  4. @K
    Because the cops in this city are getting out of line, and we need someone like Jason Michaels to put them in their place.

  5. Vance would be maybe 20times more awesome if he shaved that shitty mohawk off his head. he looks ridiculous.

  6. I love that crazy fucker The Vanimal. Also, that video, with out a shadow of a doubt, is the most akward thing i have ever seen. it’s just downright uncomfortbale. Kyle, you need to do some investigation on the producers of Baseball Friends and see if he’s a pederast.

  7. I completely agree with Barb. The kid’s a great interview! Very thoughtful and smart. I hope he has a ton of success here, and it sure looks like he will.

  8. How come on my iphone sometimes i can see videos and sometimes i cant? For example, i can see the lame ass cartoon in which neither of them even SOUND like utley and howard, but i can’t see the video i really wanna watch (worleys interview)??

  9. “Is it just me, or does he always seem strung out?”
    Is it just me, or does he always seem smoking hot?
    Really grand of the Cubs org to install that cooler room for visiting team two days after an MLB Allstar ace almost went down for the count. Bet their own players had access to an air conditioned retreat since the days of Ferguson Jenkins.
    Special, they are.

  10. Love The Vanimal photoshop. The kid is blazing hot. That Chase and Ryan video gave me the creeps though. *Shudders*

  11. “Kyle, you need to do some investigation on the producers of Baseball Friends and see if he’s a pederast.” — Adam B, 21 July 2011, 10:39 AM
    F*ckin’ Quintana… that creep can roll, man.

  12. Iron Balls! my man! picked up on the reference…”Eight year olds dude, eight year olds.”

  13. Yeah, except for the Jewish thing, those bastard Cohen Bros based the character on me and didn’t have the decensee to acknowlege it. Back then I was into bowling and guns and militantism, but I don’t do much bowling since my industrial accident took away my beard (and all other body hair).

  14. WTF with that toon right people? Athletes don’t act like that! Athletes are tough and cool especially Philly athletes! That toon got no right makin me feel all weird! I like my sports toons to be about kickin’ ass and fucking bitches!

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