Hey, The Shocker Made a Rare Citizens 7 Appearance Last Night

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Good lookin' out by reader Andrew. As I've said before, there needs to be a screening process for anyone sitting behind home plate (in view of cameras) or appearing as part of Citizens 7. I'll even write the one-page screener. If you answer yes to two or more of these questions, you're out:

Are you drunk?

Do you have a sign which features a commonly accepted name for "semen"? [example]

Did you go to Devon Prep?*

Are you at the game with your girlfriend and do the two of you not have a private place to make a sexual? [example]

Is your name Jordan or Candice?

Ill shirt? (auto DQ)

Are you Jeff Carter? [example]

Do you remember that time Cliff Lee threw his no-hitter?

Are you horny? [example] [example] [example]

Do you have an app that turns emoticons into 2D images?

Did someone give you those seats or is your ticket for elsewhere in the ballpark?

Are you wearing a red fist? [example]

*Required, I went to Malvern

See how easy that was? You're welcome, Phillies. 


15 Responses

  1. Cause we all know that YouTube is the moral compass of the internet…
    anyone see right after the game ended Charlie walking out of the dugout and someone in the first row behind them had both hands down their pants?? it was a pretty good charlie impression if i do say so myself.

  2. 2nd to derk… Kyle, your stuff is good but you pick the worst fights. Grow up/get serious my man.

  3. if you went to Great Valley you are allowed to sit anywhere in the stadium no matter what. private schools are for queers/spoiled rich kids.

  4. The St. Joe’s Prep kids would never be in the stands. They only sit in the club boxes daddy paid for.

  5. MPH: Unless you played basketball or lacrosse, a Germantown alum who went on to Syracuse shouldn’t involve himself in pissing matches. Do they even let you come to the reunions?

  6. @vlad, great valley kids can’t even afford a ticket at citizens bank let alone a beer. No way your sitting anywhere without a ticket.
    @prep prep is catholic league. Malvern is interac. That’s like saying ole miss belongs in the ivy league. Of course you’re not sitting in box seats.
    Devon prep? Since when do they count for anything? They get Malvern’s sloppy seconds.
    @kyle way to represent.

  7. I was cracking up at all the insanity last night behind home plate. It’s like once the rain delay ended, the inmates took over the asylum. All kinds of “Look at me, ma!” stuff going on! The poor cameraman must have been dizzy trying to avoid showing people acting up!

  8. Yeah we all gotta envy those catholic prep and college school ryevalrees. I’m jealous of all those alumnies that live in the basement of their ma & da’s place and makes a “living” (hahahahahah) in the highly competitive and dangerous industry of sports blogging. hahahahahah

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