Hey, The Shocker Made a Rare Citizens 7 Appearance Last Night
Good lookin' out by reader Andrew. As I've said before, there needs to be a screening process for anyone sitting behind home plate (in view of cameras) or appearing as part of Citizens 7. I'll even write the one-page screener. If you answer yes to two or more of these questions, you're out:
Are you drunk?
Do you have a sign which features a commonly accepted name for "semen"? [example]
Did you go to Devon Prep?*
Are you at the game with your girlfriend and do the two of you not have a private place to make a sexual? [example]
Is your name Jordan or Candice?
Ill shirt? (auto DQ)
Are you Jeff Carter? [example]
Do you remember that time Cliff Lee threw his no-hitter?
Are you horny? [example] [example] [example]
Do you have an app that turns emoticons into 2D images?
Did someone give you those seats or is your ticket for elsewhere in the ballpark?
Are you wearing a red fist? [example]
*Required, I went to Malvern
See how easy that was? You're welcome, Phillies.