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Out of respect for Carlos Ruiz's bruised left testicle (and because there are a lot of other things going on), our Wood will be a bit shorter today. Whiskey Dick, if you will.

The Phillies won last night, 9-2. 

Cliff Lee, as usual, was a good little pony- seven innings, two runs, seven strikeouts.

He may or may not have had a beer in the dugout:

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There’s no label that I can make out.

He talked about the outing:

Hunter Pence talked about his awkward sliding mistake: []

"I didn't really see Sammy," he said sheepishly. "When I first read the ball I thought it was kind of close to me, so I was trying to get over. I thought maybe in case the shortstop was trying to throw it to third. Little did I know, the shortstop didn't catch it. Once I started sliding, then I saw Sammy waving. Then I went home."


We love it when awkward guys do quirky things.

I didn’t see much of the broadcast, but several of you informed me that the Phillies were hawking their awful and ugly “Let’s Go Eat” shirt. To that, we say thank you. A ton of people took to the interwebtuals to search for it, and guess where they wound up? Right here. Thanks, guys.

Finally, today in idiot fans:

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That’s whereWhere is the word you were searching for.

H/T to Matt and Dan