Morning Wood: Shake and Bake

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Yesterday, at around 12:30, I left the shore for a quick drive up to Philly. I needed to return the badass Jeep Patriot that the fine folks from Jeep let me drive for a week. Fantastic car. Anyway, since I had to drop it off in Rittenhouse, my father did me a favor and picked me up to take me to get my car. As soon as I get in his not-so-smooth-riding SUV, I looked at my phone and saw that Cole Hamels had just been placed on the DL. While looking through a few emails and starting to type the Hamels post from my iPhone, which is no easy task when not driving around city streets in an SUV, I noticed it increasingly difficult to press the correct key. Assuming it was just my dad’s wild lane shifting and Philadelphia’s lousy streets, I plowed ahead despite feeling like I was getting a ride on the Sybian. Only then, as we flipped to WIP and heard the commotion, did I realize it was an earthquake. Yes, I was writing about Cole Hamels’ DL stint from a rocking SUV somewhere in Center City, not knowing I was in the middle of a 5.8 earthquake. Focus.

That’s hardly an interesting story, but here’s the rub: The only other time this summer I left the shore in the middle of a “work” day, Mike Richards and Jeff Carter got traded. That means, the two times I thought to myself, “hey, it’s a slow day, I can take a couple hours to make the trip,” Paul Holmgren commenced armageddon, Cole Hamels got sent to the DL, and we had our largest earthquake in 60 years. Needless to say, I’m not leaving the shore on a weekday afternoon again, or else I’d fully expect a swarm of locusts to envelop the city and methodically ravage the bodies of Claude Giroux, Cliff Lee, and Wilson Valdez. No one wants that.

Let’s Wood.

The Phillies won last night, 9-4.

Vance Worley was good – again. The Phillies have won his last 12 starts. 12. He is the 2011 version of Joe Blanton and Roy Oswalt, both of whom had ridiculous records after joining the Phillies in 2008 and 2010, respectively.

Worley got 34 called strikes, which, according to John Buccigross, is the most in the Majors this season. If you believe Brooks Baseball, five of them were out of the strike zone, though they were all very close.

Highlights here.

Vanimal talked about the outing:

Thankfully, that’s not the interview he did with Marty Bystrom on the MyPHL17 Post-Game Show. Let’s set the scene:

Missanelli sends it over to the ballpark to get instant reaction – 30 minutes late – from The Vanimal and John Mayberry Jr. A freaked out Bystrom pops up in front of a hazy lens that makes it look like he’s reporting from an Afghan bunker or a steam room in the Bat Cave. To make matters worse, there’s wire-wrapping velcro stuck to the top of his mic wire. As the camera did the porn zoom in on Worley (the one where you feel like you’re watching something that was filmed on a 1989 camcorder), I was half expecting Bystrom to slowly start removing his clothes and playing with Vanimal’s fauxhawk. Thankfully, a still clothed Bystrom sent it back to SugarHouse just a few seconds later. I was never so happy to see John Clark.

Bystrom later talked to Mayberry, who continues to mash the ball and is making a strong case to be an everyday player. Highlights here.

Cliff Lee’s hitting by the numbers.

Pat Gallen writes about John Mayberry Jr.

Ed Rendell writes his term paper about Jim Thome.

Jose Contreras is out for the year.

Charlie Manuel dropped an F bomb on the radio yesterday.

Rich Dubee is going to mix and match starters.

Roy Halladay kept working out during the earthquake. Hunter Pence was CNN's eyewitness.


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9 Responses

  1. in my garage an 84′ jeep grand wagoneer, 00′ jeep cherokee, 11′ jeep grand cherokee overland summit…of course i bought all of mine, what was i thinkin.

  2. Thome just got claimed by the White Sox..I really hope he has the guts to say no thanks instead of being a good soldier. The Chi-Sox have literally no shot of playoffs more less being WFCs.

  3. You got the video of Herndon interviewing Worley about where he was during the earthquake and he said he was at the hotel because he can’t afford a house?? Worley’s dry humor is hilarious.

  4. Good read by the Guv. Not to bring up Politics (but I’m THAT GUY), I’m no fan of the democratic party, but I don’t know how anyone could hate Ed Rendell. I voted for him twice. Love ya Ed!

  5. @Captain: Pence and Worley are both FANTASTIC interviews!! Both are really articulate, personable and above all, funny as hell.

  6. Sorry Laddie Boy, name calling alone won’t back up your argument. You need to provide references to back up what you say instead of blathering out your boring life story and putting the good citizens of Philadelphia at risk with your criminally negligent driving habits. (And if you fuck up behind the wheel again, I know people and I won’t hesitate to step up, call some favours, and pull some strings to make sure you shape your shit up, Boyo, if it means trains, buses, and taxis, or even bicycling for the rest of your immature pansy-arsed little life.)
    Anyways, you’re wrong, “ya little sissy”, and Bobert is right. It was a 5.8 NEAR Mineral, VA (close to Charlie Manuel’s home of youth), not registered as a 5.8 in Philly. Here’s the proof from the USGS NEIC:
    And this shows that it wasn’t 5.8 in PA:
    (You can also analize further data displayed in and you can go to to lookup the siesmograph/helicorder data)
    I think you owe Bobert (and the rest of us) an apolagy.
    And you owe everyone a promise that you’ll never text while driving again. No news, bar none—not Hamels to the DL, not experiencing a temblor—is that important in life that you have to do that. I’m sure your da will agree with me and I hope he grounds you when you get home today.

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