The Phillies are so Good They Crashed This Guy’s Car

Phillies_text_alert
Truth.

This summer feels like one gigantic party. I don't even think we watch games to see if the Phillies are going to win, anymore. We just watch to see what kind of awesome is going to spew from the dugout that evening.

Last night, as you know, it was Cliff Lee. Tonight it may very well be Hunter Pence or Chase Utley or Vance Worley or Ryan Howard or John Mayberry Jr… the possibilities, they are endless.

As such, we trade texts and Tweets, IMs and emails about the Phillies' dominance. Sometimes those exchanges lead to violent car crashes: [6 ABC]

Investigators say 39-year-old Claudio Kuhn of Rose Valley was driving his silver Toyota Camry around 1:30 a.m. when he received a text message from a friend stating "The Phillies won."

While reading the message, police say Kuhn took his eyes off the road while going around a curve and lost control.

The car crashed into a 40 foot tree, knocking it down.

 

The report goes on to say that speed did play a part- not surprising, because those 40 foot-tall trees rarely just go quietly into the night. But hey, at least the transmission delivered good news. Imagine if the text had read Madson blew it

H/T to the folks from (@Philsvilleblog) for passing along

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5 Responses

  1. No shyte speed played a part. If it takes that long to read a text that he drives off the road because of it, then he’s too f*cking slow. Or what we said in the old days: feeble minded, and then rittarded:

  2. was he driving IN Rose Valley at the time? Those curvy, hilly, unlit roads are treacherous. AND at 1:30 a.m.? AND while texting? If he made it out alive, he’s a lucky guy b/c those elements are ripe for total disaster.

  3. Hey Dumb-Antos, the “psuedo intellectuall”, I’d wish you’d go loudly into that awful night, once and for all.
    Those obscure litterary referrences didn’t work for that dooshbaggy Dennis Miller on MNF, so they certainley will always bomb here. As evidensed by the lack of feedback.
    Keep doing that, and this is what you’ll hear:


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