Your Drinker’s Philadelphia CB Six Pack: Natural Disaster Edition

As always, our friends at Drinker’s Philadelphia sponsor this segment. Be sure to stop down tonight at any of their locations for amazing hot dogs and tacos during the Eagles game.

Spread: The Eagles are one-touchdown favorites this PM. They have a few things working in their favor: 1) They’re home, 2) you can expect them to be more focused for tonight’s game, and 3) there’s no possible way that can play that badly again. I got Birds, 33-15 (safety).

Bryz’s helmet: Today, we expect more images of Drummond Custom Airbrush’s version of Bryz’s helmet (the one with the Constitution). Presumably, Bryz will get to choose his favorite. It’s not even close- local version.

Phillies injuries: Absolutely worried. As has been the case all season long, the only thing that could derail the Phillies’ season is injuries. Thus far, they’ve been able to shrug off minor ailments to a number of key players. But now it’s stretch time. Our shortstop, J-Roll™, has a groin injury, an issue that is known to linger. Rollins’ game (both fielding and hitting) is predicated on speed, if he has a broken wheel for the rest of the season, that’s a very bad thing. Cole Hamels’ shoulder inflammation is seemingly a little worse than first thought. It’s most likely nothing, but if that lingers, you now have two of the four aces with questionable health (Oswalt back).

To make matters worse, the Phillies will likely miss out on Jim Thome, which means they’ll have to ride with Ross Gload and his geriatric hip for the rest of the season (Dom Brown sucks right now in the minors, so he’s probably not an option). And Ryan Howard  has been quietly bothered by some heel pain.

Crossing Broads: Oh, Mother Russia, you never disappoint.

Yevgeniya is your classic athlete wife: a tall, buxom, blonde with headlights that would distract oncoming cars. Bob went a different route with his Mrs. Olga is brunette (I always er on the side of brunettes) and has just crazy enough eyes to say, “I’d fuck you at intermission if I could.” Add to that the intrigue of their Canadian rendezvous and her anticipated US citizenship, and you have 73% of the elements needed for a spy novel. I go Olga.

Bigger rival: Nationals. Reason from my Q & A with Mets Blog yesterday:

Baseball wise, our ire has been more directed at the Nationals this season. It’s mostly because ofJayson Werth, who is a lightning rod for local discussion, but also because of some comments from guys like Bryce Harper and our ability to flood their ballpark nine times a season. We’re mostly just laughing at the Mets right now.


More exciting: I was genuinely disappointed that I didn’t feel the earthquake. I spent the next six hours balancing straws on the kitchen table with tin foil on my head, just waiting for the first sign of an after shock. No such luck.

Hurricanes, of course, let us know they’re coming and put on a spectacular show of wind and destruction. They have a much longer window, so they probably win just for the sheer volume of footage we get out of them. That got me to thinking, though: Why don’t we name earthquakes? 

Every Hurricane gets its own name. Earthquakes are fairly rare, the least we can do is give them an identifying moniker. But instead of using any old name, we give them mobster names (ya know, the whole shakedown thing). As such, I’d submit the following for this week’s quake: Portrait Petey, because all he did was knock a few photo frames off desks. 

How has this not been implemented yet?

This week’s Drinker’s challenge: How many point do the Eagles score tonight? Winner gets a prize from Drinker’s. Enter after the jump.


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14 Responses

  1. I guess Kyle cut his history classes at Nova, that’s actually the Constitution on Bryz’s mask not the Declaration of Independence. Just sayin’

  2. Bryx was wearing the Tiger mask on the ice in Voorhees today. Bad thing – that mask is horrible. Good thing – HOCKEY IS AROUND THE CORNER!!!
    Fingers crossed for the Bryz doll, Kyle!

  3. where did you here that the Phillies lost out on Thome? Do not see him being traded to anyone as of yet.

  4. he has been claimed, but perhaps i spoke a little too matter of factly. updated the post.

  5. You are actually the only who still cares about Jayson Werth…………
    If the Phils dont win the World Series, Ross Gload not hitting a HR will def be the reason!!!!!!
    Makes sense

  6. saw hartnell today at lunch, his hair looks luxurious, i think itll be a good year (like the groundhog predicting the end of winter)…

  7. PS It’s not so much the wind these days (for Hurricane prone regions as codes are updated for it post Andrew), it’s the storm surge (case in point Katrina).
    Here’s storm surge predictions by hurricane category for the Mid-Atlantic states including Delaware and NJ:
    Or you can go to NOAA’s interactive storm surge predickshun page:
    If you are in any of these low lying areas it would be wise to evacuate if the path veers towards you. Even the surfer kids down here have given up riding the waves as the currents and riptides are too cray right now. They got all of the rad surfing out of their system yesterday.

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