John Mayberry Jr. is Trying to Date a Married Mermaid, Allegedly

Pirates_mermaidThird one from the right 

As always, John Mayberry Jr. mermaid posts are best read while listening to this song:

Oh holy hell.

Sometimes there are stories so awesome and ridiculous that you just drop everything and run to the computer. This is one of those stories.

John Mayberry Jr. seeks a mermaid.

Antoinette Nikprelaj, to be exact. She played one of the evil mermaids in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides. The New York Post (always reliable…) has obtained the email sent by Mayberry's agency, CAA, to Innovative Artists, the Hollywood agency that counts Nikprelaj as one of their clients.

Ladies and gentlemen, the email:

I hate to even be sending you this e-mail, and I’m quite embarrassed to say the least, but we have a young client on the Philadelphia Phillies who asked us if we knew any agents at Innovative Artists and could connect him to Antoinette Nikprelaj.

I know you’re not a dating or set-up service, but John Mayberry Jr. (Phillies OF) would love to meet Antoinette or invite her to a baseball game sometime. Would this be possible?

Here’s a bio of John to give you some more info on him (he’s a great guy, down-to-earth, humble, Stanford-educated, etc.) Thanks for considering this as you know how this business is and servicing clients.

 

Awesome. Just awesome. 

Mayberrry_date

I’m not sure why Mayberry is going through all this trouble, though. There’s some talk from his teammates that he was thinking of joining Twitter. Perhaps now he will. He can simply send Nikprelaj a Tweet (@ItsAntoinette). 

Of course, whatever the means of communication, Mayberry may not get the response he's looking for. Nikprelaj is married. Or at least she was in February of this year, when this Oakland Press article was written:

Months of pre-production self-defense and weapons training have been grueling, but the sacrifice proving most difficult for the young star is being away from her husband Nua and 3-year-old daughter Gianna.

“I miss them so much,” said Nikprelaj. “They are my life, but I am doing this also for them, because I see a great potential to become successful.” 

 

Sorry, John. May we recommend another mermaid? Perhaps a redhead?

Screen Shot 2011-09-07 at 9.25.00 AM

[Related: John Mayberry-mermaid Photoshops]

H/T to (@AK47_NLbeast) and Bill for the links

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50 Responses

  1. She is so g-damn beautiful that it’s tough to blame the guy, but that still doesn’t stop it from being kinda frigging creepy. Seriously, I would never pull any sh– like that. Like Kyle said, try some tweeting and see where it goes. If that doesn’t work? Dude, you’re a ball player, you’ll get by with non famous 9-10’s so shut the f*&k up about it and move on.

  2. Nose Howard once pursued a host at south philly chickie & petes basically the same way. Took a limo to AC with him for the night

  3. @leadweights – i dont think he gives a fuck if she’s “famous” or not. maybe he just likes her?

  4. Suggestion for urgent reformatting:
    “I’m not sure why Mayberry is going through all this trouble, though.”
    Then the picture where it’s just her leaning on the wall.
    Then immediately below that: “Oh, wait. That’s why.”
    Still kind of creepy, though. But maybe this sort of approach is kind of par for the course when you’re famous (well, famous-ish)?

  5. He CLEARLY has some really good taste. (This effort, if true, is also really really funny.) Best of luck to Capt. John May-sparrow-berry’s search for the buried treasure!

  6. Antoinette Nikprelaj
    ItsAntoinette Antoinette Nikprelaj
    My daughter is practicing Kung Fu on me…don’t let your children watch Karate Kid lol

  7. How evil could a mermaid be? So evil she would be hot enough for us to talk about not-boning our not-platooning outfielder while married and with a kid. Dare I say it: Way Evil.

  8. You would think he would do his research before asking his agent to send that and then something like this happens when it is leaked…seems like something a love sick junior high school boy would do..minus the agent middle man.

  9. “They have a nickname for me — ‘Cinderocky,’” she smiled. “That’s ‘Cinderella’ and ‘Rocky’ mixed together. An unbeatable combination.”
    She’s halfway there if she ended up with JMJ. He’s working on the ‘Cinderella’ story in the city of ‘Rocky’. Stars are aligin’.

  10. This is an example of a heaping lack of researh on JMJ’s part. Pretty bad, but not as bad as Kris Humphries not knowing that Kim Kardashian had been married right before he engaged her. Yeah, I watch the show, I fucking VHS tape it and watch it while the phillies play. Think Humphries knows she is friends with Ray-J? Note @That Guy – also black.

  11. tremendous comment TOOG.
    I am thoroughly disappointed that she’s married. Also that JMJ didn’t at least, ya know, check to see first. I just kind of assumed he did when I first wrote the post. Never assume, folks. It makes an ass… ah, you know the saying.

  12. Ariel is so hot. By far the hottest Disney character of all time. Pocohontas is a distant second.

  13. Was Jessica Rabit a disney character? I mean, a blatant slut, but a 10 in that top-heavy animated sense. Otherwise, Shit Break is right, Ariel all the way, but Jasmine was a nice slice as well.

  14. At least he didnt pull a Roy Williams and send her a engagement ring in the mail. lol…he needs to be careful…i hear mermaids have crabs hahaha
    insert sebastian picture 🙂

  15. Im an April O/Neil kinda guy myself. She had all the curves a 11 year old could as for….

  16. She’s a stunner. I’d knock the barnacles of that mermaid’s clam ceviche.
    If this story is true, I am definitely dissappointed in JMJ.

  17. Why don’t black guys like black women? I know they are beat looking but damn they love thewhite girls

  18. Cinderocky could do worse. JMJ has a promising future in MLB and nice shoulders. (saw one of his post-game interviews). Maybe the merm’s husband will go halfsies, like that movie where Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin shared the same wife.

  19. LOL… Bernie.. I was thinking the same shit.
    JMJ, you’re a platoon playa now… You have unlocked lvl 3 vagina… have at it

  20. I can’t believe no one threw in a “dinglehopper” joke? You know, like “I’ll bet JMJ can’t wait to show her his dinglehopper …”

  21. This is hysterical! I know this chick. She lives down the street from me in Michigan and my buddy from high school who is in the business in LA is close friends with her. I just sent him a text asking him if he’s a Phillies fan anymore. Too funny…and yes she is married poor Mayberry.

  22. This is such a non-story it isn’t even funny. There was nothing creepy about what Mayberry did, and if it weren’t for the fact Antoinette Nikprelaj–whose real last name is Kalaj–was married it wouldn’t have even been talked about.
    The simple truth is, there’s almost no way Mayberry could have known she was married (unless he was real creepy and read hundreds upon hundreds of pages on Google about her) because there is no biography listed anywhere.
    She doesn’t appear on Wikipedia, doesn’t have a biography on her IMDB page, and so far doesn’t seem to have any fan pages (despite the fact she’s one of the most beautiful women on the planet as far as I can tell).
    It’s obvious Mayberry saw her in the Pirates of the Caribbean film, thought she was pretty, did a little checking and couldn’t find out much, and figured he’d have his agent get some more info and find out if she’d be interested in going out.
    Again, what would have been creepy is if he’d tried finding out her phone number and called her up on his own. That would be the equivalent of you or I calling her, really.

  23. It’s probably just me but something is going on in this country. Didn’t a “white” nfl quarterback attempt to “hook-up” with a cheerleader by texting her a while back and wasn’t he MOL crucified for doing so? And now a “black” mlb player uses an agent to “hook-up” with a married woman and is MOL praised for his efforts and even told to “continue” by some. My uncle told me that the US media’s main goal is to insert as many non-caucasian penis’s into as many caucasian vaginas as possible to eventually exterminate the caucasian male from the planet. I laughed at him, I thought he was crazy, but now, I think maybe he made sense and never again will I question any religious book on why it says adultery should be a capital crime…poor Americans, and we wonder why we have problems.

  24. Pete Samprass got Veronica Vaughn from Billy Madison to go on a date by having his agent do the exact thing… now their married “Veronica Vaughn, soo hott..want to touch the hiney” Just sayin…

  25. Creepy yes, but it might work. Rumor has some Pashko D dude hooked up with her through Facebook. Crazy…. But it worked for this clown. Also he’s not even a ball player but he is a playah !!!!

  26. Are there no hot black women out there? Why dont these black guys go after their own kind. Any chick who dates a black is ruined

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