Bird Droppings: Typical

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Dayum.

I spent all night trying to come up with a name for that game, but nothing really stuck. The only word I kept coming back to was: Typical.

It was typical that on the first drive of the game, Jay Cutlered his way through the Eagles defense like a hot knife through butter an average quarterback through a Juan Castillo coached secondary.

It was typical that the Eagles regained the lead only to hand it back to the Bears in the fourth quarter.

And it was typical that in the final quarter, the Eagles attempted a fake punt and threw a seven-yard pass on 4th and 10.

To be fair, the more I thought about it, the last-second fake punt call was a smart one: Colt Anderson was wide-open and, according to Jon Gruden, Chas Henry was a “recruitable quarterback” at one time.

Maybe in middle school, he was.

Henry threw a feather to Anderson and the Eagles turned the ball over on downs.

It’s the 4th and 10 call that really bothers me, though. I don’t have a stat for this, I’m not Reuben Frank – crunching numbers around the clock like there’s some sort of schoolmarm standing above me waiting for the perfect useless football stat – but we’re at a point in our Eagles fandom that we just expect them to pass in front of the imaginary first down line in crucial situations. I understand that defenses want you to do this, and will give up the second or third options on these players, but why must the Eagles be so predictable?

Yes, I know, it was a bad pass, and that had it been a good pass from Michael Vick, Jeremy Maclin probably would have gained a first down (though I’m not sure on that, either). Still, it’s the risk you run when throwing beneath the coverage on crucial plays. 

Typical.

When the Eagles turned the ball over, the reaction on Twitter was mostly hilarious. Here’s a screenshot one reader sent me of consecutive Tweets from bloggers (myself, Zoo With Roy, and Cranekicker):

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Yeah, that seems to work.

Asante Samuel temporarily left the game with a “groin laceration.” In non-technical terms, we call that, “cracking a nut.”

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Poor guy.

As all-star CB reader Ian pointed out, you know a quarterback isn’t that good at his craft when announcers describe him thusly: “In the course of the game, Jay Cutler will throw you a couple.”

They were talking about the defense.

Of course, that was the only time Gruden or Jaws were negative about Cutler. During one of the Bears’ fourth quarter scoring drives, the not-so-dynamic duo verbally fellated Cutler so hard that I thought my TV was going to ejaculate.

Here are some links for your reading displeasure:

Brian Rolle says the Eagles weren’t ready to play. [Philly Sports Daily]

DRC talks about going off on the sidelines, saying he didn’t pull up on Earl Bennett’s first quarter reception. [Philly Sports Daily]

Here’s Phil Sheridan’s predictable column. [Philly.com]

Rich Hoffman writes about the defense’s margin for error and how they can’t be counted on. [Philly.com]

You know what, I’m not linking to the rest of Philly.com's stories. In addition to those two columns, here are four more that all lament the Eagles loss in similar fashion. I’m glad we have John Smallwood to inform us that it was a “poor ending” for the Eagles.

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Chas Henry said he “babied” his pass (Why does CSN not let John Finger take on a bigger role? He always manages to have a different slant on things) . [CSNPhilly.com]

Buddy Ryan and others reflect on the past. [CSNPhilly.com]

Speaking of CSN, the Gov was very bored: 

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H/T to (@Tags19)

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19 Responses

  1. I’d blame the refs for the 1 td we lost buy aka a blown call where Jason Babin was called for ruffing the passer when he was pushed and the bears subsequently scored…but the whole team was crap, the D could not stop a thing and our big stars forgot to show up… and how do you not even attempt a last play big hurrah down the field to try and win?….rather pathetic

  2. So what do you do when you feel the only person who doesn’t know the Reid era is over is the owner? Adam Raigner was right. I’ve felt for the last 5 years my team has been held hostage buy a stubborn fat fuck apologist with no common sense and a silver spoon prick from Boston who gets a kick outta putting his hebrew school buddies in charge of his football team with marching orders to “just be good enough to sell out and sell maerchandise”. What do i do? i pray for the fans to stay home and stop financially supporting those 2 assholes. Last night was another sell out, stupid, sad, stepford fans.

  3. Bottom line- Juan is joke, tough to win in the NFL with late rd picks starting at LB, Vick and D Jax are having terrible years. Eagles under Heavy-Set Andy are the worst at running a 2 minute drill

  4. It’s not about being a stepford fan MM, it’s about loving football. That to me, is the most important thing. Calling out fans for going to the games is asinine. Don’t blame the fans, blame the organization. If losing time, after time, after time again doesn’t make them realize a change is needed, nothing will. Doesn’t mean fans can’t still enjoy what makes them happy. Football.

  5. any chance we can get a mulligan on the DRC trade, but instead of getting him we can get a new set of 1st down markers for Linc since they got worn out last night as DRC was ABUSED on every fucking 3rd down.
    Chaz Henry = Chaz Bono when it comes to throwing a football.

  6. I agree with Adam B, DRC has been a gigantic bust. But really, neither Asante nor Nnamdi have done much better. It sucks we lost Nate Allen again, I felt like he was finally starting to get back to where he was before getting injured last year.
    Oh well, at least the Flyers are doing well.

  7. Season over. Basically they have to be a 10-6 team or better to get a wildcard spot, and I can’t see the Eagles putting a winning run together with the schedule that they have.
    Thanks for the memories 2011 Eagles.

  8. Kyle, when you said the final play call bothered you I thought you actually meant the FINAL play call. What were they doing there? Desean looked like he didn’t give a fuck anyway but what if he actually catches the ball, what good does a 10 yard out do us? Were they honestly running the fucking hook and ladder instead of throwing a bomb down field? The odds of someone catching it in the end zone might be low but you also might get a pass interference call, it’s certainly a better shot than a 10 yard out when you need 60 and a score.

  9. @eagles are done – I don’t think Lurie gives a fuck about anything but his wallet so he can get that ugly wifes eyebrows and twat waxed on a regular basis (which must be a full time job). Until you hit them in the pocketbook aint shit gonna happen. Being a good football fan is refusing to pay money to watch bad football, it’s a bad product don’t buy it!! Stay home and watch on tv!!

  10. I’d just like to point out, to the people who truly believed that this ship was righted after we beat amazingly high caliber teams like Washington and Dallas, that they were being dumb.
    Last call for the Avant Bandwagon!

  11. I can understand where some people are coming from. I want the eagles to do good b/c the represent the city and they are the only team that i have ANY passion for. So if you are like me, then you are torn, you want to watch football that you CARE about… but you want the team to get the message that you are not happy with the way they are playing and you dont want to support the status quo. I have been toughing it out and not really watching. Watched the 2nd half of the Wash game and all of Dallas and then last night… its been tough but i am also not purchasing any new merchandise till we have some change

  12. Oh and I missed PGL, but can I assume The Gov stated the completely obvious and rephrased a few statements that Didinger already said to make it seem like he’s a real analyst? I can? Ok thanks.

  13. The 3rd and 10 rushed play before the 2:00 warning is what bothered me. Take the time out and get a smart play off. Instead, Ried gives the illusion of being smart by trying to get a play off in time. And if you are going to rush a fucking play than please run the fucking ball since a throw stops the clock anyway. Just shitty play calling.
    2 words: Draft Pick.

  14. Whatever margin of error the Eagles had regarding their playoff chances before last night is pretty much gone now. I’d be pissed if I hadn’t already seen the Fourth Quarter Collapse movie several times before. This is pathetic, and everyone in the Eagles’ locker room needs to share the blame for this mess.

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