Lenny Dykstra is Going to Fight Jose Canseco LIVE ON THE INTERNET!

I honestly thought Lenny was still in jail.

From the files of ridiculous comes the following story. Jose Canseco, who was originally scheduled to fight Tarek Salahi, the White House crasher, as part of a celebrity boxing publicity stunt will now square off against… Nails.

From the perfectly crafted press release (although, in the Dykstra Zone, I believe pretty much anything crazy he says): [BusinessWire.com]

“Canseco ruined my career by spreading lies. I called Tareq and begged him to let me take his place in the upcoming fight against Canseco,” said Dykstra in a statement.


Salahi obliged. But he will still take part in the evening’s events, fighting Kato Kaelin in one of the six undercards to the big Canseco-Dykstra showdown. 

Just look at this card, it’s like a Who’s who of Who isn’t

Jose Canseco




Lenny Dykstra

Joey Buttafuco




Lou Ballera

Nadya "Octomom" Suleman




Amy Fisher





Jeremy Jackson

Tareq Salahi




Kato Kaelin

Michelle "Bombshell" McGee




Violet Kowal

Tila Tequila






How is Gary Busey not involved in this? That TBA is just calling his name.

You can watch the fight live on – here comes the publicity part – FilmOn.com on November 5.

I hate myself.


18 Responses

  1. I have a solution that could make this one of the greatest sepctacles in the history of sports: Make the matches a fight to the death. Then make it a tourniment.
    14 douche canoe’s enter. 1 survives.

  2. …it’ll be like Mortal Kombat just with drugged out trash bags. For Tila Tequila’s finisher she could just breathe her Herpa-ghona-cyfil-itis cocktail breathe into their face. The Octomom could suck her opponents into her stargate vag sending them into a 2 dimensional alternate universe…oh the possibilities.

  3. I don’t even know who half these people are, But I’d pay cash to see Octomom get knocked the fug out. I’ve seen Canseco fight before, I’m pretty sure he’d lose to anyone on that list.

  4. On the bright side for Lenny I’m pretty sure he can whip his dick out and proposition any of these sluts without the cops getting involved

  5. What’s left of Busey’s brain cannot afford to have any potential damage to it. While I owuld love to see him fight, it’ll never happen.

  6. Gary Busey shoudl be the referee.
    TBD vs. Tila Tequila should be Justin Bieber.
    Big $ on Tequila for the FATALITY. FINISH IT/HIM/HER.
    Pat, Righthaven, notoriously idiotic copyright litigation troll, just got MASSIVELY BUTTFUCKED in federal court. So, to recap for you, while your observation is harmless, it is also worthless.

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