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Fuck, Union, just weeks after I get myself a nice, authentic white kit (photo evidence— yes, that's a Cliff Lee Fathead behind me), you go and change things up on me*.

*I should have known– soccer teams do this every year UPDATE: every two years in the MLS.

Apropos of exactly nothing right now, the Union unveiled their 2012 kits today… by re-cutting the trailer for Inception. Really.

Anyway, those are the new kits. They look like Man City fucked Real Madrid and the two had a baby, and that’s not a bad thing. At all. Nice contrast between the dark and light blues, solid use of gold, and a lighter – dare I say regal-looking – away jersey.

Sadly, though, the aesthetic appeal of soccer kits is largely based on the logo of a team’s sponsor– in this case, Bimbo, whose branding looks like an early swipe at the American flag. Plus, uh, that name.

In some cases (see Madrid, Real), the sponsor’s logo blends in seamlessly with the design. In other cases (see Barcelona), it clashes horribly. That’s what happens with the Union kits. Their look is constantly going to be brought down with that hideous Bimbo logo. But hey, they’re paying the Union tons of money, so it’s a fair tradeoff.

Nice work on the design.

Video after the jump.