Worst Person in the World Nomination: Jimmy Rollins’ Agent, Dan Lozano

Screen Shot 2011-11-23 at 10.02.53 AM
You know it’s bad when you give agents a bad name.

Without being too unfair, agents are essentially the pilot fish of professional sports: They latch on beneath the sharks that are talented word-class athletes and gobble up small percentages of their earnings. Though the shark would rather save the whole loot for himself, the fish serve an important and necessary role, cleaning remnant food and accompanying parasites from the shark. So the shark doesn’t eat them.

Agents perform odd jobs to keep their clients happy… and take small (but substantial) portions of their earnings. So it shouldn’t be a surprise when we read a tale about a skeevy agent. But Dan Lozano, the agent for Jimmy Rollins and Albert Pujols, among others, is a creep of a different class. Deadspin has the story:

According to one competitor, Lozano "was known around the agent scene as a hooker ringleader," and women were his primary and most effective method of wooing potential clients.

"You come out for a meeting," explains that agent, who emphasizes that the practice isn't limited to Lozano. "You have a good time, some good drinks, you take a girl to bed, what's going to happen? You're a 20-year-old kid, and you think every agent is pretty much the same. You're going to pick the one who's fun to hang out with."

Not to mention, he adds, it lets an agent "have something on the guy."


That's certianly nothing new for agents, nor is it to imply that Jimmy was a part of those shenanigans, but the article is a fascinating glimpse inside the world of an agent. And if you’re wondering if that article includes graphic pictures of cunnilingus… well, yes it does.

Give it a read.

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on email

11 Responses

  1. Lousy technique, looks like he’s scared to get the cookie duster dirty. No wonder he has to pay for sex, i need to clean my ears out with Q-tips when i get done eatin pussy.

  2. If I’m a rich guy paying for sex, she’d at least have to have a young pre-heroin/coke pornstar hardbody. That chick looks like some cooze who works at Rite-Aid who comes over to your place to get her tonsils bruised while you’re watching Battlestar Galactica.

  3. To be fair, most professional athletes have no business negotiating deals. That’s why having an agent is so critical.
    I mean, just look at what’s happening over at the NBA right now to see what happens when you mix athletes and business.

  4. yea, easy with the agent hater comments. when a player has personal problems or other things going on in his life an agent is one of the few people that they can confide in for professional and personal advice, and know that there statements would never be repeated to anyone (at least the good ones, which i would hope are most). This scum agent just took advantage of that agent-client unspoken confidentiality.

  5. Hi Dan, I have a deal on how to get j roll some good publicity with the fans, I know ur probably very busy but if u could send me an email back I would surely share it with u.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *