Mr_met_ownerFuck me…

While you’re undoubtedly enjoying the holiday season, soon the long, cold months of winter will set in and you’ll be searching for those warm feelings of springtime, life… and New York Mets jokes. 

File this one away.

The New York Times obtained the term sheet given by the Mets to prospective minority owners. The organization is looking for $20 million in exchange for 4% ownership of the team. That’s hardly a desirable offer… but did you hear? There are perks!

These are real: [NY Times]

Access to Mr. Met, the team mascot, although the degree of access is not entirely spelled out. It definitely means you, as a part-owner, can schmooze with Mr. Met at Citi Field. It’s less clear whether you could get him to come to your child’s birthday party without a fee.

A formal business card, complete with the prominent designation: “Owner.”

 And if you are a wealthy doctor, commodities trader or real estate mogul who wants to try to swat the ball over the newly pulled-in outfield fences at Citi Field on a Mets day off, you are entitled to attend what appears to be an exclusive kind of fantasy camp: “Owners’ workout day.”

Parking will not be a problem for new owners, the document makes clear. A single spot at the ballpark is reserved for anyone who signs on for $20 million. The chance to throw out a game’s first pitch will be an annual privilege. Every minority owner will be assigned a team executive, who will be charged with tending to an array of possible needs, season tickets for family members among them. The document suggests, however, that those tickets will cost money beyond the $20 million investment.

 

Access to Mr. Met?! What kind of access to Mr. Met? Like Second Mile access? Or you can wear the costume sort of access? This is all very vague.  

And I don’t know about you, but if I owned any whole percentage of a baseball team, I’d expect full access to taking BP whenever I damn well please, and wouldn't want to be beholden to some sort of hokey owner’s fantasy camp. The parking is a nice touch, though. After all, this is New York.  

Anyway, those are the perks. No buyers yet– can’t imagine why.

This morning, SportsCenter had some fun at the Mets’ expense. That video, after the jump. The best part is when Marcellus Wiley weighs the pros and cons of such an offer.

The New York Mets: America’s car accident.

H/T to (@jrw522)