Carlos Beltran Will In Fact Pay For Mets Pitcher Jon Niese’s New Nose

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Photo: ESPN NY

Say that three times fast. 

This is like when a husband tells his wife that he wants to buy her new boobs because they will “make her feel more self-confident,” when, really, he just wants to motorboat those sonbitches.

Something like that. 

Earlier this week, ESPN NY Mets beat reporter Adam Rubin passed along this bit of tid, saying that pitcher Jon Niese had indeed showed up to spring training with a new nose, one that former teammate Carlos Beltran had offered to pay for last season.


Last year, before being traded to the Giants, Beltran told Niese that he would pay for him to get a nose job. Though the procedure now allows for Niese to breathe better (which helps with conditioning, he says), we’re assuming that, at the time, Beltran and his former teammates could no longer stand the sight of Niese’s sad-shlong-shaped sniffer: []

"He wanted me to have a new nose," Niese said about Beltran. "So he offered to pay for it. I was just like, 'All right.' Then it turned into seeing doctors and to getting it fixed."


Beltran, reporting to Cardinals camp today, spoke of his debt: []

He hopes Niese knows this about the nose, that it wasn't his intention to imply the need for a new one.

He will, however, pay for it.

"He ended up doing it, and I have to pay for it," Beltran said. "I did get the bill. I’ve waited to go there and give it to him personally."

Beltran said he'll take Niese the check when the Cardinals play the Mets in March during Grapefruit League play.

He has not yet seen a picture of the new look he purchased Niese.

"He doesn't have to pay $10,000 for his nose," Beltran joked.


Now, if only someone would pay for Beltran to get that mole removed…

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Mole! Mole! Mole!

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2012 New York Mets: they won't even be able to smell success.

Here's a topic for discussion: Which feature would you pay to have changed on a Philly athlete? I'll start: James van Riemsdyk's balls (replacing them with whatever model he had in the spring of 2011). Go!


17 Responses

  1. How about Howard’s nose next? Sheeeeesh.
    Or just get Jody Shelley a complete plastic surgery make over. All of his years in hockey have not done him good.

  2. Woah…I am shocked 3 Flyers (JVR, Pronger, and Shelley) all got mentioned before Bryz. That is a shock.
    On a side note that JVR comment was priceless. I cannot top that. Well played Kyle…

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