Hey, Let's Make Fun of People: Ovechkin's Bracket, Bryce Harper (Of Course), and a Well-Placed Ville Leino Joke
This here is Alex Ovechkin’s NCAA bracket, which look more like a half-assed flow chart… or the final quarter of a bowl of Cheerios. Ooooooooooooo.
Photo taken by reporter Joel Ward, via SB Nation
Photo: GQ
– Bryce Harper was interviewed for GQ Magazine and said things that were, predictably, douchey:
Now that Harper's the one hurt, he takes a hop-step out of the box. Again: "Fuuuuuuck!!!" A violent toss of his custom-made Marucci bat—inscribed with LUKE 1:37 ("For with God nothing shall be impossible")—across the batting cage. "Fuck it, I'm done." Harper shakes his hands vigorously and shoves them into a pile of infield dirt adjacent to the cage. "I didn't know I was hitting today, and I don't have my goddamned gloves," he says. "It hurts like a dick."
…
In other words: Harper is awesome—exactly what baseball needs. He's essentially a throwback: a cocky, ornery cuss who can back it all up. Ty Cobb minus the racism and chaw, Lenny Dykstra before the bankruptcy. He tells me Pete Rose, a.k.a. Charlie Hustle, is his favorite player and that "I want to play the game hard. I want to ram it down your throat, put you into left field when I'm going into second base."
Bryce Harper is 19.
– Finally, we’ll conclude this brief installment with a screenshot of the Wikipedia entry for Valuation (finance), specifically the “new asset value method” section: [thanks to reader Justin]
You can click to enlarge. It reads: Professional sports has a different net asset value method which sometimes can break down and cause team to make horrible decisions while signing players (see Buffalo Sabres/Ville Leino).
I’m not usually one for posting wild Wikipedia entries, but the fact that someone went through the time to throw a Ville Leino joke into a quite serious entry for Valuation makes me laugh. Also, it’s 100% accurate.