Lenny Dykstra is Going to Jail

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Lenny Dykstra stories are like watching HBO’s Real Sex over and over– after a while, you just become immune to what was once shocking, perhaps intriguing, and maybe even a little bit hot

Anyway, Nails has been sentenced to three years in prison in his grand theft auto case. Dykstra and a partner were accused of forging paperwork to steal luxury cars from a California dealer.  

After entering a “no contest” plea, Dykstra tried to change his plea to “not guilty,” but a judge denied the request, saying that Dykstra had ample time to provide evidence that he was innocent. [LA Times]

After she rejected the plea withdrawal, Dykstra addressed the court, making a rambling and repetitive speech requesting leniency.

"Did I do something I'm not proud of? Yes," Dykstra said. "Am I a criminal? No."

During the statement, he apologized to his family and told the judge he had voluntarily entered drug rehab. He did not, however, apologize to the victims, including the man whose identity he stole in an effort to steal the cars. 

 

Sad. Maybe. I don’t know, I’m numb.

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20 Responses

  1. I’ll never forget when I was a kid (1991), I asked Lenny for an autograph & he said f off kid while he laid a really loud fart.

  2. I doubt Lenny will do the full three years. There’s bound to be a plea deal that’ll get him out of the big house after say, a year.

  3. The “Nails” nickname should be changed to “brutally raped by a drifter from Rhode Island who is in jail due to eating the liver of a Filipino busboy from a Long John Silver’s…nails”

  4. I don’t feel bad for him. He had more opportunity to make as much money as he wanted and to do good for the world. He chose, through dumb actions, thoughts and decisions, not to do either. He gets no sympathy from me.
    Loved him when he was a Phillie… but he’s a pretty disgusting human being.
    And yes, Lenny, you ARE a criminal.

  5. I’ve changed my plea to guilty
    Because freedom is wasted on me
    See how your rules spoil the game
    -Morrissey

  6. I hope the send him to one of those federal pound me in the ass prisons, not some white collar extended vacation bullshit.

  7. NAILS is gonna get NAILED in the joint, it’s a shame they don’t serve Twizzlers or Captain in the pen. I’m sure he will find some good COKE in there though. I wonder if Howard Eskin is still promoting and raising money from that “Free Lenny” website?
    Did he get his hair frosted for court?

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