The Eagles Let Awestruck Season Ticket Holders Judge Their 2012 Cheerleader Tryouts

Screen Shot 2012-03-29 at 5.06.42 PMThat girl… she's in her underwear

What is… this… a smart PR move from the Eagles?! 

Imagine getting this letter in the mail: 

Dear Football Fan, 

Thanks for being a great fan. We went 8-8 last year and our coach is fat, but we appreciate your support. As a valued season ticket holder, we would like to invite you down to the NovaCare Complex so you can watch partially-cloaked dancers vie for your votes to become a Philadelphia Eagles cheerleader. 


The Eagles 



That’s right, children, the Eagles allowed select season ticket holders to judge the semifinals of their 2012 cheerleading tryouts. 

There’s a video posted over on the Eagles’ website of the event (WARNING: Dave Spadaro ad kicks things off). The segment is hosted by what appears to be Thomas Drayton’s offspring. The best part (besides, you know, the young coeds vying for attention by shaking their asses) comes at the 43 second mark, when this guy tried to put his good fortune into words. YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?! WHERE’S THE RUB? OH… YEAH, THERE’S THE RUB. THAT FEELS NICE.

Screen Shot 2012-03-29 at 5.00.35 PM

Here’s what he really said: 

“She’s got to be good looking, obviously. And appealing to… people. And has to dance pretty well, I guess.”


Luckily, it doesn’t seem like the Dirty 30 was invited, because then we would probably be looking at 27 consecutive minutes of Mummers masturbating as frightened young dancers scramble to find pictures of Donovan McNabb.

Video here.

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17 Responses

  1. I would love to stick my face right into that ass & motorboat it. Bzzzzzzzbzzzzzbbbbzzzbbzzzzzbzzzz (motorboat sounds)

  2. Hey Jess, what did I tell you about posting on here. No more posts until you start producing some sandwiches.
    Also, what kind of panties do you wear? I’d love to sniff them.
    At least tell us if your hot.

  3. Jess come to my place tonight for my late night party after Penny Garden’s Power Hour & Out of Whack Jacks. Bring your undies!

  4. Of course Jennifer Wolfinger (season ticket holder) shows up for the show…. It’s all in the name….

  5. Jess … are you flirting with me? Unfortunately you sound fat and I only date models & professional cheerleaders … you may not get a better offer than from Thomas E so you might want to get a job at Subway and become a SANDWICH ARTIST so you can lock him down.

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