Baseball Hall Of Fame: Jamie Moyer Has Position Waiting For Him…As An Intern

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When questioned about what had just moments before become his indelible place in baseball lore, Jamie Moyer said he wished he could be an enthusiast full-time.

Said Moyer, after becoming the crustiest dude to ever win a baseball game (or, by our measure, any meaningful, televised, organized athletic competition in North America; you know, something that wouldn't have made the cut of Rick Reilly's "Sports From Hell"):

“I kind of wish I was a baseball historian.”

 

And now Moyer, something of a relic himself, has the chance. Which is totally appropriate, given that he’s played for, like, 17 percent of the history of the game. Kind of a lay-up. Like the Met opening a position for Confucius. Assuming he were still alive… and quipping. Kind of how Moyer is now. Perfect fit, Cooperstown and Moyer seem.

And, you'd figure, such a gesture would be for a really, highly celebrated and honorable post at the actualization of game’s running history. I mean, the man is, after all, a soon-to-be-former professoinal athlete, and, while he might've somewhat slipped toward obscurity (and/or breaking his hip) of late, we are talking a former 20-game winner. Hafta figure the price (prestige) would hafta be worth it.

Right?

Said Brad Horn, senior director for communications and education at the National Baseball Hall of Fame and Museum (per the Hall's web site): 

“Jamie Moyer has proven that age is truly just a number. By winning a game at the age of 49 years and 150 days, he’s broken a long-standing record in baseball history.

“But even more noteworthy in his performance is that Jamie has expressed a desire to become a baseball historian. Through our annual Frank and Peggy Steele Internship Program, we are providing learning foundations and educational opportunities to future leaders in baseball research, among many other Museum and baseball disciplines.”

 

Wait, wait, wait.

They wanna make the guy an intern? Like a "Get Me Coffee" and "Staple This" and "Fax That" go-fer? Because that — at least in my the experience of anyone who's ever trolled the halls of a Corporate American establishment for free, under the guise that college credit is comparable compensation for the unglorified bitchwork therein — is what an intern does.

And they want him to do it at age 49?

And they're telling people? Before asking Moyer, to see whether if he's, like, you know, in?

“Jamie certainly has shown the dedication we look for in our program’s candidates, and we believe that Jamie has the stuff necessary to make it as a Hall of Fame historian, with a little hard work and perseverance.”

 

Oy.

Moyer will be eligible for the internship upon his retirement. It would also make him the ugly ducking of sorts, given that the 2012 class of Frank and Peggy Steele interns, a class very much like the one Moyer will join 32 seconds after getting his 300th win (or realizing his surgically reattached arm, dismembered by his chase of that presumably automatic HOF milestone, can’t function), are high school students.

What fun.

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6 Comments

  • LOL April 19, 2012 at 3:07 pm

    As Sean Avery knows, when your career in sports runs dry, it always helps to have something to fall back on.

    Reply
  • the truth hurts April 19, 2012 at 3:28 pm

    I’m sorry but this was one of the most poorly written posts I’ve seen on this site.

    Reply
  • 3 Finger Lenny April 19, 2012 at 4:23 pm

    I’d love to fuck moyers wife

    Reply
  • me April 19, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    The Phillies better hire him as a pitching coach.

    Reply
  • Chris G April 20, 2012 at 7:56 am

    I would buy that man a beer.

    Reply
  • The Duke April 20, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    None of my professors looked like her in college! If I was Moyer, I would retire and hit that twice a day!

    Reply
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