Morning Wood: Talk To Your Hitting Coach About ED

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Well, if the offense keeps this up, we’re going to have to start calling this segment Morning Impotence

Here are two stats that best sum up both the Phillies’ non-existent offense and the frivolity of early season stats:


via ESPN’s Chris McKendry

The Phillies’ 4 extra-base hits are their fewest extra-base hits through four games since 1990, when they finished 22 of out 26 teams in scoring. 


That’s concerning. But remember how important the early season is…


via SI

For the first time since 2007, the New York Mets are 4-0 to start a season. 


And we all know how that ended… 

I’m concerned. You’re concerned. We should all be concerned. But, the Phillies are going to be sans Chase Utley and Ryan Howard for – likely – at least a month, perhaps more. If they can stay .500 up until June, things will be just fine. 

Splinters and semis:

– Cliff Lee… and his wife and kids… splashing around on a hot summer’s day. Here:

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That’s the exclusive Lombard Swim Club, located at 2040 Lombard St. There is a year-long waiting list to become a member, but a certain magical steed and his family were exempt, causing other members to be upset at the VIP treatment given to Cliff Lee.’s Dan Gross has that story.

– Long-time Philly radio voice and partner of Mike Missanelli, Steve Fredericks, died yesterday after a battle with Pancreatic Cancer. Mikey Miss gave a heartfelt tribute on-air yesterday. Read Fredericks’ obituary here.

– Blue Jays catcher J. P. Arencibia has some fans… 

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via The Big Lead

– Reader (@mvb123) checks in with the lone highlight from yesterday’s game. I didn’t see these, but the concession cups, it seems, have been upgraded. Nice touch:

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– Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen had to fly back to Miami today to clarify his comments about Fidel Castro. The Marlins set up a video screen outside the ballpark, and it looks like no one cares:

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Photo via Amy K. Nelson on Who Say

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10 Responses

  1. “and partner of Mike Missanelli”
    you may wanna reword that to
    “and on air partner of Mike Missanelli”
    or people may start talking.
    RIP Steve-O

  2. Phil’s are toast, and will be battling the Nats for worst record in the Division this year. Also, Pens are winning in 5…no championships this year.

  3. In honor of Steve-O….BANG!! Rest in peace.
    Meanwhile, it’s hard not to be concerned about the Phillies and their flaccid bats, even though the season’s not even a week old. Still, I’m nowhere near ready to press the panic button, let’s give this some time. If the boys still can’t hit their way out of a wet paper bag with a chainsaw by the end of the month, then I’ll call for DEFCON 2. As for the Mess and their 4-0 start, I’m not worried, they’ll eventually crash.

  4. That old cotton head lady in the Blue Jay pic looks like she’s explaining the chink’s shirt.

  5. Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Pence say “Good game, let’s eat”, and not, “Good game, let’s GO eat”? Picking nits, I know, but let’s at least get the quote right.

  6. I fucked Steve Fredricks, how else would I have a job?
    He had soul though, he turned me out like a true black pimp would. He got me hooked on smack, and put me on the corner to make him some money, even blackened my eye on several occasions, and knocked out one of my teeth.

  7. “Lets Go Eat”
    – Seriously I wish you all would stop saying it and writing it places … gayest shit ever.
    Beez Nutz

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